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therapy was rough today
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<blockquote data-quote="TerryJ2" data-source="post: 202736" data-attributes="member: 3419"><p>Jennifer, sounds like you're doing some really good, hard work. Bravo.</p><p> </p><p>It is extremely difficult to handle our own issues while we've got our difficult child's to deal with. They can revive PTSD from our own pasts because their own behaviors may mimic something we've repressed and boom! There it is again. </p><p> </p><p>In some ways, their issues can help us learn about ourselves. For eg., with-my own difficult child, it never occurred to me that I might have some kind of Sensory Integration Disorder (SID) until I noticed that he had it to a small degree, and that he craves stimulation as much as I abhor it.</p><p> </p><p>He likes to be hugged really, really hard until he can hardly breathe. I am claustrophobic. He will wear filthy clothes that reek of urine. I have to shower every day, and can't stand even the tiniest BO. He will pull on a pr of soaking wet, muddy cleats for baseball and hit a home run. I can't have a wrinkle in my sock or I'll drive over the curb.</p><p>And don't even get me started about scratchy tags. I am the Princess and the Pea. He's Shrek.</p><p> </p><p>I write poetry and short stories that sometimes deal with-hard issues, either in my childhood or right now. It is very therapeutic. It really helps me explore issues in a constructive way. (Getting paid for it is an even more positive affirmation! <img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite1" alt=":)" title="Smile :)" loading="lazy" data-shortname=":)" /> )</p><p>I have also found that if I am in a blue mood, it is the best time to write a sad scene in a story, rather than to just sit down and write a linear fashion. It is too sterile. The feeling is false. I have to be sitting at the keyboard crying or the words won't come out right.</p><p>(And if the UPS man rings the doorbell at the wrong moment, he gets kicked into orbit!)</p><p> </p><p>I've also noticed that I absorb emotions around me, so if I've been watching comedy on TV or reading a funny book, my writing will come out funny. </p><p> </p><p>In the same vein, I have to be careful not to absorb too much of my difficult child's wrath because I am way too thin-skinned. It has taken me yrs to realize he "doesn't really mean it" when he says he "doesn't really mean it." <img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite1" alt=":)" title="Smile :)" loading="lazy" data-shortname=":)" /> I took it so personally partly because I was born sensitive, but also because I had a very unsupportive mother who belittled us and left us kids all very vulnerable to criticism, never questioning whether it was valid. My husband says I'm like the empath on the old Star Trek series and I may bring myself too close to the edge ... LOL.</p><p> </p><p>I've tried to re-cast or re-frame my experiences with-my difficult child to see how they have helped me become a better, stronger person. A few yrs ago, I was even too timid to assert myself with-incompetent salesclerks b4 he came along. Now I'm ready to take over the store, LOL! </p><p> </p><p>Is your Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD) about any topic in particular or can it be anything that pops into your head? Does it happen when your difficult child's stress you out? Does it interfere with-your interactions with-them? </p><p> </p><p>Again, bravo for your hard work. I hope I haven't been too tangential here ...</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="TerryJ2, post: 202736, member: 3419"] Jennifer, sounds like you're doing some really good, hard work. Bravo. It is extremely difficult to handle our own issues while we've got our difficult child's to deal with. They can revive PTSD from our own pasts because their own behaviors may mimic something we've repressed and boom! There it is again. In some ways, their issues can help us learn about ourselves. For eg., with-my own difficult child, it never occurred to me that I might have some kind of Sensory Integration Disorder (SID) until I noticed that he had it to a small degree, and that he craves stimulation as much as I abhor it. He likes to be hugged really, really hard until he can hardly breathe. I am claustrophobic. He will wear filthy clothes that reek of urine. I have to shower every day, and can't stand even the tiniest BO. He will pull on a pr of soaking wet, muddy cleats for baseball and hit a home run. I can't have a wrinkle in my sock or I'll drive over the curb. And don't even get me started about scratchy tags. I am the Princess and the Pea. He's Shrek. I write poetry and short stories that sometimes deal with-hard issues, either in my childhood or right now. It is very therapeutic. It really helps me explore issues in a constructive way. (Getting paid for it is an even more positive affirmation! :) ) I have also found that if I am in a blue mood, it is the best time to write a sad scene in a story, rather than to just sit down and write a linear fashion. It is too sterile. The feeling is false. I have to be sitting at the keyboard crying or the words won't come out right. (And if the UPS man rings the doorbell at the wrong moment, he gets kicked into orbit!) I've also noticed that I absorb emotions around me, so if I've been watching comedy on TV or reading a funny book, my writing will come out funny. In the same vein, I have to be careful not to absorb too much of my difficult child's wrath because I am way too thin-skinned. It has taken me yrs to realize he "doesn't really mean it" when he says he "doesn't really mean it." :) I took it so personally partly because I was born sensitive, but also because I had a very unsupportive mother who belittled us and left us kids all very vulnerable to criticism, never questioning whether it was valid. My husband says I'm like the empath on the old Star Trek series and I may bring myself too close to the edge ... LOL. I've tried to re-cast or re-frame my experiences with-my difficult child to see how they have helped me become a better, stronger person. A few yrs ago, I was even too timid to assert myself with-incompetent salesclerks b4 he came along. Now I'm ready to take over the store, LOL! Is your Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD) about any topic in particular or can it be anything that pops into your head? Does it happen when your difficult child's stress you out? Does it interfere with-your interactions with-them? Again, bravo for your hard work. I hope I haven't been too tangential here ... [/QUOTE]
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