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<blockquote data-quote="Hound dog" data-source="post: 385812" data-attributes="member: 84"><p>Thanks guys. I know I did the right thing, especially where Katie's husband is concerned. I just hope that she can finally see he has been a big part of the issue all these years. I don't lay all the blame at his feet for the simple reason she could have left him at any time. I know it's hard to walk away with someone you've spent most of your life with........but her kids and herself have got to come first with her and I know no other way of driving this point home.</p><p></p><p>I'm not the Mom or the person I was the 1st time we did this. I've raised 3 other kids to adulthood, 2 of those difficult children. I have had to do many hard things to help them find their way. I didn't like it with them any more than I do now. But the right thing is usually the hardest thing to do. *sigh* </p><p></p><p>I truly think Katie is ready to turn her life around. But unless she lets go of her husband that will be impossible to do. He's a perpetual child. Whether that is MRDD going on or something else does not matter. The moment money came into the picture his entire attitude changed and it was all about him and what he was going to buy. I started suspecting this when he really complained about computer withdrawls. Now I can empathize to some extent as I have the same issue......me without my computer is NOT a good thing. lol I made the mistake of saying easy child had an old E machine she was thinking about tossing that maybe Travis could fix for him once they got a place. That's all he's talked about every since......did not matter that fixing it would take time....didn't matter I'd told him he couldn't have it here.........he'd set it up in a corner he said........uh no, said you can't have it here duh. (yeah let's carry a computer to a shelter and see how desperate they think we are omg) Then once money from biomom arrived he not only wanted that computer........but started about how he wanted a new one or a used one from the pawn shop or 2nd hand computer shop we have here. Started trying to get Travis to go with him to look at them ect no matter how many times Katie told him no having a place to live comes first. Travis is no dummy. He refused to go to the computer shop......evaded most of the "conversation" and made up an excuse as to why it will take a while for him to fix easy child's computer. (honestly will take only about an hr to switch out the hard drives)</p><p></p><p>Tells you something when Travis says Mom shouldn't he be worried about where they're going to live ect instead of getting a computer?</p><p></p><p>Kicking myself for even mentioning that computer. dang it. </p><p></p><p>Today we're going out to PCs so that the kids can all carve pumpkins together. I warned easy child about Katie's husband's obsession with that old computer.......cuz he might bring it up. If he does......because MY other kids DO have their priorities straight.....it's going to get ugly and fast. easy child will tell him off. Nichole will tell him off. He utters a sound and sister in law will be on him like stink on sh*t. Both girls were behind me 100 percent over making katie return to the motel. They've been helping tons too........if they hadn't been we'd have not survived the week with katie and the kids here at all. They are not going to take his childish new attitude well.</p><p></p><p>It's obvious that her husband has never experienced a real family environment. By the time all is said and done, he may wish he never had. lol Does not help that he never has been "liked" by the family to begin with. He'd improved that until the money got here.</p><p></p><p>He was mad I'd made them go back to the motel. I still fixed them supper last night, just as I said I would. He went into the livingroom with a bag of chips declared to kayla he'd rather puke than eat dinner. (tension between him and katie could be cut with a knife at this point) Once dinner was ready he changed his mind. Kayla is much like her aunt Nichole and speaks her mind. She told Nana what daddy said in the livingroom right in front of him. Major p*ssed him off and he went off on her......saying she was a liar and saying he was talking about a tv show she was watching. Had her in tears and p*ssed me off, but I chose to stay out of it. It's not the first time he's acted like an overgrown child with the kids. He ate the meal, mad or not. Katie was busy trying to be the peacemaker. I just told her it was no skin off my nose if he ate it or not. lol His stomach. Then they couldn't get out of here fast enough. I am pretty sure that was more his doing than hers.........as he was in such a rush he was making it hard for her and I to gather together what she would need for food for breakfast and lunches for the kids. And 99 percent of their belongings are still sitting in my diningroom.</p><p></p><p>The man does love katie and the kids. I just don't think he has the capacity to grow up. I seriously don't think he can........I don't think it's a deliberate thing.......I just think it's beyond his capability. He thinks because he is willing to get a job and help katie with the kids that makes him grown up.....he just doesn't get there is sooooo much more to it than that. He dresses like a teen, he talks like a teen, he acts like a teen.....even in his parenting/relationship with katie.</p><p></p><p>He also loves to talk about his ex gang days.......how he can hurt this person and that person.....blah blah blah. (man does that get old) And all the while I'm thinking bud if sister in law got hold of you, you'd be down for the count in 15 secs. Your 44, probably haven't even seen a fight since back in those "gang" days (which I think is a lie to make people afraid of him) and he'd take you out before you could blink. lol But will say it makes me nervous he carries a switch blade. But have news for katie......I will call the cops on his *ss anytime I feel the need and she'll just have to deal. We don't put up with that **** around here.<img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite4" alt=":mad:" title="Mad :mad:" loading="lazy" data-shortname=":mad:" /> But does make me shake my head. He's maybe 3 inches taller than me and I outweigh him. And even according to him he's always been that way........so yeah, he'd have never survived gang life. I'm not totally stupid. He can't even keep the story of his past straight.........something of which I wonder if katie herself notices.</p><p></p><p>Got a call from biomom. I refused to answer when she called last night because katie begged me not to tell her their in the motel. She's deathly afraid her Mom will try to move back in on her. (um doubt it cuz no one would pick her up from the bus station lol) But she called this morning and I made the excuse she was out with husband.</p><p></p><p>Biomom said to stay on them. They have the tendency to be lazy and slack off.......and Katie has often got to be led by the hand to do things. Well, figured both those things. And no one will be leading Katie by the hand. It's all up to her. </p><p></p><p>Katie is ready, she is fed up. But does she have the backbone and strength to change, that is the question. She walks around in what I call "victim" posture. (which I chewed her out for) I hope she does. Because if she doesn't she will discover the help will stop. This family helps those who help themselves first.</p><p></p><p>We've dealt with too many difficult children for it to be any other way. lol<img src="/community/styles/default/xenforo/smilies/tongue.png" class="smilie" loading="lazy" alt=":tongue:" title="tongue :tongue:" data-shortname=":tongue:" /></p><p></p><p>Makes me feel like a hard*ss.........and makes my heart hurt for the grands really bad. Because if their parents can't get their act together it will be the grands who will suffer for it. husband said that Alex was crying on the way to the motel last night because he was afraid he'd never see his Nana again.<img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite3" alt=":(" title="Frown :(" loading="lazy" data-shortname=":(" /></p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Hound dog, post: 385812, member: 84"] Thanks guys. I know I did the right thing, especially where Katie's husband is concerned. I just hope that she can finally see he has been a big part of the issue all these years. I don't lay all the blame at his feet for the simple reason she could have left him at any time. I know it's hard to walk away with someone you've spent most of your life with........but her kids and herself have got to come first with her and I know no other way of driving this point home. I'm not the Mom or the person I was the 1st time we did this. I've raised 3 other kids to adulthood, 2 of those difficult children. I have had to do many hard things to help them find their way. I didn't like it with them any more than I do now. But the right thing is usually the hardest thing to do. *sigh* I truly think Katie is ready to turn her life around. But unless she lets go of her husband that will be impossible to do. He's a perpetual child. Whether that is MRDD going on or something else does not matter. The moment money came into the picture his entire attitude changed and it was all about him and what he was going to buy. I started suspecting this when he really complained about computer withdrawls. Now I can empathize to some extent as I have the same issue......me without my computer is NOT a good thing. lol I made the mistake of saying easy child had an old E machine she was thinking about tossing that maybe Travis could fix for him once they got a place. That's all he's talked about every since......did not matter that fixing it would take time....didn't matter I'd told him he couldn't have it here.........he'd set it up in a corner he said........uh no, said you can't have it here duh. (yeah let's carry a computer to a shelter and see how desperate they think we are omg) Then once money from biomom arrived he not only wanted that computer........but started about how he wanted a new one or a used one from the pawn shop or 2nd hand computer shop we have here. Started trying to get Travis to go with him to look at them ect no matter how many times Katie told him no having a place to live comes first. Travis is no dummy. He refused to go to the computer shop......evaded most of the "conversation" and made up an excuse as to why it will take a while for him to fix easy child's computer. (honestly will take only about an hr to switch out the hard drives) Tells you something when Travis says Mom shouldn't he be worried about where they're going to live ect instead of getting a computer? Kicking myself for even mentioning that computer. dang it. Today we're going out to PCs so that the kids can all carve pumpkins together. I warned easy child about Katie's husband's obsession with that old computer.......cuz he might bring it up. If he does......because MY other kids DO have their priorities straight.....it's going to get ugly and fast. easy child will tell him off. Nichole will tell him off. He utters a sound and sister in law will be on him like stink on sh*t. Both girls were behind me 100 percent over making katie return to the motel. They've been helping tons too........if they hadn't been we'd have not survived the week with katie and the kids here at all. They are not going to take his childish new attitude well. It's obvious that her husband has never experienced a real family environment. By the time all is said and done, he may wish he never had. lol Does not help that he never has been "liked" by the family to begin with. He'd improved that until the money got here. He was mad I'd made them go back to the motel. I still fixed them supper last night, just as I said I would. He went into the livingroom with a bag of chips declared to kayla he'd rather puke than eat dinner. (tension between him and katie could be cut with a knife at this point) Once dinner was ready he changed his mind. Kayla is much like her aunt Nichole and speaks her mind. She told Nana what daddy said in the livingroom right in front of him. Major p*ssed him off and he went off on her......saying she was a liar and saying he was talking about a tv show she was watching. Had her in tears and p*ssed me off, but I chose to stay out of it. It's not the first time he's acted like an overgrown child with the kids. He ate the meal, mad or not. Katie was busy trying to be the peacemaker. I just told her it was no skin off my nose if he ate it or not. lol His stomach. Then they couldn't get out of here fast enough. I am pretty sure that was more his doing than hers.........as he was in such a rush he was making it hard for her and I to gather together what she would need for food for breakfast and lunches for the kids. And 99 percent of their belongings are still sitting in my diningroom. The man does love katie and the kids. I just don't think he has the capacity to grow up. I seriously don't think he can........I don't think it's a deliberate thing.......I just think it's beyond his capability. He thinks because he is willing to get a job and help katie with the kids that makes him grown up.....he just doesn't get there is sooooo much more to it than that. He dresses like a teen, he talks like a teen, he acts like a teen.....even in his parenting/relationship with katie. He also loves to talk about his ex gang days.......how he can hurt this person and that person.....blah blah blah. (man does that get old) And all the while I'm thinking bud if sister in law got hold of you, you'd be down for the count in 15 secs. Your 44, probably haven't even seen a fight since back in those "gang" days (which I think is a lie to make people afraid of him) and he'd take you out before you could blink. lol But will say it makes me nervous he carries a switch blade. But have news for katie......I will call the cops on his *ss anytime I feel the need and she'll just have to deal. We don't put up with that **** around here.:angry: But does make me shake my head. He's maybe 3 inches taller than me and I outweigh him. And even according to him he's always been that way........so yeah, he'd have never survived gang life. I'm not totally stupid. He can't even keep the story of his past straight.........something of which I wonder if katie herself notices. Got a call from biomom. I refused to answer when she called last night because katie begged me not to tell her their in the motel. She's deathly afraid her Mom will try to move back in on her. (um doubt it cuz no one would pick her up from the bus station lol) But she called this morning and I made the excuse she was out with husband. Biomom said to stay on them. They have the tendency to be lazy and slack off.......and Katie has often got to be led by the hand to do things. Well, figured both those things. And no one will be leading Katie by the hand. It's all up to her. Katie is ready, she is fed up. But does she have the backbone and strength to change, that is the question. She walks around in what I call "victim" posture. (which I chewed her out for) I hope she does. Because if she doesn't she will discover the help will stop. This family helps those who help themselves first. We've dealt with too many difficult children for it to be any other way. lol:raspberry-tounge: Makes me feel like a hard*ss.........and makes my heart hurt for the grands really bad. Because if their parents can't get their act together it will be the grands who will suffer for it. husband said that Alex was crying on the way to the motel last night because he was afraid he'd never see his Nana again.:frowny: [/QUOTE]
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