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Substance Abuse
Things continue to go south. . .
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<blockquote data-quote="toughlovin" data-source="post: 622287" data-attributes="member: 15801"><p>Kathy, </p><p></p><p>I am thinking of you. As you know I know how hard this is. I am impressed with how strong and clear you are being.</p><p></p><p>I have been hearing and reading a lot about how this is an illness (rather than a choice) and so the real goal I think is treatment....and some research says even if they go into treatment not totally wanting it, it can make a difference. Of course I think that is only really true for long term treatment. It feels to me my son is finally maybe turning things around and he has been there 5 months.... no way was he in that place after 30 days.</p><p></p><p>But to me treatment does get them clean, and gives them a chance to think about their future with a clearer head than when they are in the middle of using.</p><p></p><p>So I am all for your daughter going to rehab.... and if it were me I think I would do what I could to find her options... and possibly help her get there.</p><p></p><p>However I think you are absolutely right this can not be a blackmail situaion.. I will go to treatment if you do this for me. So I agree you should not fix her car so she will go to treatment.</p><p></p><p>I also agree she needs to make the calls (although I might help her get the numbers of reasonable places)</p><p></p><p>If she gets herself accepted into a treatmet place then I personally would help her get there.... I dont think I would take the stand dont call me until you are in a place. But that is just me.</p><p></p><p>I know she has done a lot of emotional blackmail and manipulation and it is important for her to learn that wont work....but I think if you can keep the doors open to your relationship somehow that is a good thing.</p><p></p><p>I also totally think taking a stand where you will help her get into treatment but you are not doing private pay type treatment again makes a whole lot of sense.</p><p></p><p>I think the fact she is mentioning rehab as a possiblity is a good sign... maybe she is getting desperate enough. The director at my sons program says there is no change without desperation! </p><p>Ultimately this has to be her journey.</p><p></p><p>TL</p><p></p><p></p><p>Sent using ConductDisorders mobile app</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="toughlovin, post: 622287, member: 15801"] Kathy, I am thinking of you. As you know I know how hard this is. I am impressed with how strong and clear you are being. I have been hearing and reading a lot about how this is an illness (rather than a choice) and so the real goal I think is treatment....and some research says even if they go into treatment not totally wanting it, it can make a difference. Of course I think that is only really true for long term treatment. It feels to me my son is finally maybe turning things around and he has been there 5 months.... no way was he in that place after 30 days. But to me treatment does get them clean, and gives them a chance to think about their future with a clearer head than when they are in the middle of using. So I am all for your daughter going to rehab.... and if it were me I think I would do what I could to find her options... and possibly help her get there. However I think you are absolutely right this can not be a blackmail situaion.. I will go to treatment if you do this for me. So I agree you should not fix her car so she will go to treatment. I also agree she needs to make the calls (although I might help her get the numbers of reasonable places) If she gets herself accepted into a treatmet place then I personally would help her get there.... I dont think I would take the stand dont call me until you are in a place. But that is just me. I know she has done a lot of emotional blackmail and manipulation and it is important for her to learn that wont work....but I think if you can keep the doors open to your relationship somehow that is a good thing. I also totally think taking a stand where you will help her get into treatment but you are not doing private pay type treatment again makes a whole lot of sense. I think the fact she is mentioning rehab as a possiblity is a good sign... maybe she is getting desperate enough. The director at my sons program says there is no change without desperation! Ultimately this has to be her journey. TL Sent using ConductDisorders mobile app [/QUOTE]
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