Thinking about transferring schools

[Californiablonde]

For difficult child 1. Her attendance is still an issue and I would like to keep better tabs on her. Also, I am not happy with this new school. I am not happy with her very restrictive placement. I am not happy with the way they mishandled the bullying issue. I am not happy with her case carrier. I am just not happy. I don't think my daughter is getting much of an education where she is at. So I am thinking of transferring her to the high school where I'm at. The school psychiatric here is absolutely wonderful. He has given me a lot of advice in the past when it comes to my kids. I highly respect him. We also have a wonderful special education department here with great teachers I know and trust. I don't know if she will be accepted here or not just based on the fact that I work here, but I am going to give it a shot. I hope and pray I am doing the right thing and I hope it doesn't come around to bite me in the end. I hope I can change things for the better.

 

[buddy]

I think as long as you are not IN the class where she is there should be no issues. Even Q learned to handle if I was in a building that he was in. I never popped into his class without his wanting me there or to check up on him etc. (but it is convenient to have spies around, lol).

I hope it goes well, if your gut says this school is overall just not the right match then it probably isn't. When you start a new plan or whatever things do tend to get worse at first before the get better, but if that doesn't happen people MUST look and see what is going on and change things....seems like that just does not happen at that school and you are going to have to be the one who changes it then.

I'm sorry, I know it is just a hugely stressful issue. I hope it is a good move for her.

 

[InsaneCdn]

Most schools don't have an issue with students being in the same school as their parents as long as the parents are in non-classroom positions (front office, janitorial, tech support, etc.) It gets a little more challenging - but still happens - if the parent is one of the teachers but the school is large enough to avoid teaching your own kid.

 

[Californiablonde]

Well I work in the attendance office so no problems there. At least I can keep track of her better here. Hopefully it all works out. I just don't care for the treatment she is getting at this other school and here they don't even have ED classes. She would be in smaller RSP classes. She is much better behaved in non ED classes so I don't expect there to be many behavioral issues. She's just plain too embarrassed to act out in front of the "regular kids." A concept this school now just can't grasp.

 

[InsaneCdn]

What are RSP classes?

 

[pasajes4]

It sounds like this might be the best solution. My difficult child was at the school I taught in and his behavior was much better. It all depends on how receptive she is to the idea.

 

[DDD]

Interesting idea. How do you think she would feel about the transfer? Is it possible that her hygiene problems could be a condition for transfer? I assume that is a bit part of the bullying issue and would likely continue to be an issue with any group of peers. DDD

 

[Californiablonde]

RSP classes are special resource classes for kids who are Special Education.Well I talked to her on the phone (she is home AGAIN today!) and she does not want to go. Her reason? If she changes schools she will no longer be able to go to the boy's and girl's club after school. She has several friends there. My mom offered to take her there once a week as long as her behavior is okay, but she still doesn't want to go. She does not like the school she is at whatsoever. The only reason for her not wanting to change is the boy's and girl's club issue. I told her that she will most likely have a better chance of making new friends at my school because she will have girls in her classes instead of all boys. She doesn't care. She's not looking at the big picture and what's best for her. I am going to go ahead and apply for the transfer. Oh, and when I told her about changing schools, her answer to me was "F__k you." So guess who's getting her cell phone taken away as soon as I get home?

 

[InsaneCdn]

Don't. Please don't.

I wish someone had told me this years ago.
Oppositional behaviour is most frequently a symptom of anxiety.

Do NOT react in ways that ramp up the anxiety. Recognize and deal with it.
Yes YOU have to choose, not her. She is not in any shape to make the choice. You need to "haul" her to a better place.

But please recognize that changing schools is a major challenge for a easy child, even more huge for a typical teen... and for "our" kids? I don't have a label for that level of anxiety!

 

[Californiablonde]

Well, difficult child is getting her wish. MY district doesn't take inter district transfers unless we live in the same city, which we don't. Oh well. Back to square one...sigh.

 

[InsaneCdn]

Nope, not back to square one. You're only half a step back, because you have planted the seed thoughts and started the process.

Do the staff at your school know of other like-minded schools in your district?