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Thinking of cutting off communications with difficult child
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<blockquote data-quote="blackgnat" data-source="post: 618364" data-attributes="member: 13561"><p>Wonderful replies here-how many of us are in the same boat! Did the difficult children all read the same manual or what?</p><p></p><p>Echo, I don't know how to answer you because I was just wondering the same thing about my difficult child-what is the last straw? Not that there really has to be one. Maybe it's just like when a friendship has run its course-it no longer adds anything to your life, you grow apart, needs and goals change and you have less and less contact because neither of you really wants to invest in it any more.</p><p></p><p>I know it's different because these are our children, but maybe I'm going to look at my contact with my difficult child that way. When and if he calls, I won't want to hear anything but good or positive news. NOT the same old story. NOT a conversation that doesn't even include a "How are YOU , Ma?" in it. NOT a request for money or a woe is me tale...I already know how his stories end and how empty his promises are.</p><p></p><p>When I think about it, it breaks my heart that he is so lost, but I also know that my overthinking and my inability to be rational has helped to feed the Beast, so that way of thinking doesn't work any more. Maybe you can quietly just phase yourself out of it all and see how productive and pleasant the calls are when they are less frequent? If they're still "lather, rinse, repeat" then maybe you won't feel so bad about not communicating at all?</p><p></p><p>As I said before, I have no clue, because I'm still struggling . But I hope you find a way to feel okay with it all.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="blackgnat, post: 618364, member: 13561"] Wonderful replies here-how many of us are in the same boat! Did the difficult children all read the same manual or what? Echo, I don't know how to answer you because I was just wondering the same thing about my difficult child-what is the last straw? Not that there really has to be one. Maybe it's just like when a friendship has run its course-it no longer adds anything to your life, you grow apart, needs and goals change and you have less and less contact because neither of you really wants to invest in it any more. I know it's different because these are our children, but maybe I'm going to look at my contact with my difficult child that way. When and if he calls, I won't want to hear anything but good or positive news. NOT the same old story. NOT a conversation that doesn't even include a "How are YOU , Ma?" in it. NOT a request for money or a woe is me tale...I already know how his stories end and how empty his promises are. When I think about it, it breaks my heart that he is so lost, but I also know that my overthinking and my inability to be rational has helped to feed the Beast, so that way of thinking doesn't work any more. Maybe you can quietly just phase yourself out of it all and see how productive and pleasant the calls are when they are less frequent? If they're still "lather, rinse, repeat" then maybe you won't feel so bad about not communicating at all? As I said before, I have no clue, because I'm still struggling . But I hope you find a way to feel okay with it all. [/QUOTE]
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