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Third door now breaking because of my son....
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<blockquote data-quote="susiestar" data-source="post: 519242" data-attributes="member: 1233"><p>I am another mom who tells my child that saying I am mean tells me that I am doing my job right. When they got to be about 8 and wanted to know why I wasn't wanting to be their bff instead of being a mean mommy, I told them (and still do when needed) that they will have a lot of bffs and other friends, but they only have one mom and it is important that I do the job right so that they grow up to be contributing members of society. They dont' like it when they are angry, but they do understand the rest of the time. ANd they like to be able to tell friends that they "can't" do somethng because I would kill them or make their lives a living hades. It is the "get out of jail free" card for peer pressure - esp as most of their friends like me but know that I will do what I say I will, and that I can be very very creative when it comes to consequences.</p><p></p><p>If he is going to dump cups of water, then he needs to have sippy cups with the valves in them and he can only have them right by you. He is going to get seriously hurt and possibly seriously hurt other people if he keeps playing iwth water near electrical cords/plugs. This is a safety issue and not one you can play around with. I would go and buy ONE or maybe 2 sippy cups and they would be kept locked in my room when clean. He would get ONE with a drink in it and it has to stay within 2 feet of me until he can be safe with it. if he wants a drink he can come to you. The rest of the family will have to keep their drinks with them when he is home and not leave them sitting around - even you have to follow this. I would probably figure a way to keep him locked out of the bathrooms and kitchen so that he can't go and get water to do this because it is such a huge safety risk. </p><p></p><p>Do you have any evaluations scheduled? have you sent a certified letter to the school asking for them to do complete testing on him? by six most kids are well able to use cups appropriately and they know they are not allowed to pour it on the floor or anywhere but the sink. If he doesn't grasp this, is there some cognitive delay? </p><p></p><p>This is the 6yo, right? he can claim it is the man in the moon's fault, but he did it so he gets the consequence - and that needs to be it for the big things. in my opinion the water is a big things and he is doing it to upset you and because it is fun to get a rise out of someone or see you get so worried or to see someone fall in the water. Does he do that at school? (the water pouring/playing thing?) or is it saved for home only? </p><p></p><p>I generally don't make exceptions for my kids on basic things because they have to do these things to function and most kids CAN do them and understand why not to dump the liquid. </p><p></p><p>I would strip the room of everything but the mattress, bottom sheet, pillow, ceiling light and their lovey if at all possible. The lovey, a favorite teddy bear or blanket or whatever, was the ONE things we NEVER took away as a punishment. It was the one thing they latched onto as a baby and still have. the only time we ever took a lovey away was when Wiz was taking the winder off of his teddy bear (it played a song) and using it to try to hurt his sister by gouging her with it, and when thank you tried to use his blankie to jump off of things. This was a short removal (a day for thank you, couple for Wiz) and they still got it back at night when they were going to sleep.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="susiestar, post: 519242, member: 1233"] I am another mom who tells my child that saying I am mean tells me that I am doing my job right. When they got to be about 8 and wanted to know why I wasn't wanting to be their bff instead of being a mean mommy, I told them (and still do when needed) that they will have a lot of bffs and other friends, but they only have one mom and it is important that I do the job right so that they grow up to be contributing members of society. They dont' like it when they are angry, but they do understand the rest of the time. ANd they like to be able to tell friends that they "can't" do somethng because I would kill them or make their lives a living hades. It is the "get out of jail free" card for peer pressure - esp as most of their friends like me but know that I will do what I say I will, and that I can be very very creative when it comes to consequences. If he is going to dump cups of water, then he needs to have sippy cups with the valves in them and he can only have them right by you. He is going to get seriously hurt and possibly seriously hurt other people if he keeps playing iwth water near electrical cords/plugs. This is a safety issue and not one you can play around with. I would go and buy ONE or maybe 2 sippy cups and they would be kept locked in my room when clean. He would get ONE with a drink in it and it has to stay within 2 feet of me until he can be safe with it. if he wants a drink he can come to you. The rest of the family will have to keep their drinks with them when he is home and not leave them sitting around - even you have to follow this. I would probably figure a way to keep him locked out of the bathrooms and kitchen so that he can't go and get water to do this because it is such a huge safety risk. Do you have any evaluations scheduled? have you sent a certified letter to the school asking for them to do complete testing on him? by six most kids are well able to use cups appropriately and they know they are not allowed to pour it on the floor or anywhere but the sink. If he doesn't grasp this, is there some cognitive delay? This is the 6yo, right? he can claim it is the man in the moon's fault, but he did it so he gets the consequence - and that needs to be it for the big things. in my opinion the water is a big things and he is doing it to upset you and because it is fun to get a rise out of someone or see you get so worried or to see someone fall in the water. Does he do that at school? (the water pouring/playing thing?) or is it saved for home only? I generally don't make exceptions for my kids on basic things because they have to do these things to function and most kids CAN do them and understand why not to dump the liquid. I would strip the room of everything but the mattress, bottom sheet, pillow, ceiling light and their lovey if at all possible. The lovey, a favorite teddy bear or blanket or whatever, was the ONE things we NEVER took away as a punishment. It was the one thing they latched onto as a baby and still have. the only time we ever took a lovey away was when Wiz was taking the winder off of his teddy bear (it played a song) and using it to try to hurt his sister by gouging her with it, and when thank you tried to use his blankie to jump off of things. This was a short removal (a day for thank you, couple for Wiz) and they still got it back at night when they were going to sleep. [/QUOTE]
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Third door now breaking because of my son....
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