This child of mine !! ARGH !

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by shellyd67, Dec 14, 2011.

  1. shellyd67

    shellyd67 Active Member

    difficult child has some issues with Reading Comprehension and begins an afterschool program today to help him along.

    He also receives extra help during the school day as part of his 504 plan.

    He is more than PO'd about going and informed husband and me that he "refuses" to go and he is taking the bus home and that is that !!!

    We let him vent and very calmly explained the benefits but as most of you know explaining things to difficult child's is useless sometimes.

    He told me he would be taking the bus home right after school and went on his merry way this morning.

    I already forwarned his Teacher and 504 Coordinator at PTC last week this was going to happen and asked them to reach out and give him some encouragement.

    I emailed the Principal also. She helped me out last year and gave him tickets to a professional Basketball game after the course was completed along with a very nice note.

    I need all the help I can get. I ended my email to the Principal with " It takes a village" and I truly believe that.

    Anyhow, just venting my frustration and wishing my son weren't so dag gone difficult !!!!
  2. buddy

    buddy New Member

    We advocate, we push, we set things up and in the end, our kids do us in sometimes! It is exhausting. You did all you can do, if it was mine, once it becomes routine it would be ok, but at first he would be pretty upset. Hope he just bites the bullet and does it. And then that it actually helps. (((hugs)))
  3. InsaneCdn

    InsaneCdn Well-Known Member


    From difficult child's perspective? the extra help gets him "labelled" by the other kids, and sets him up as a prime target for bullying.
    You have to look at the WHOLE picture, and find ways to get him the help... without triggering peer issues.
    At this age, the peer issues become HUGE - and the effects of peer relationships going off the rails can be devestating.

    There is no easy win.
  4. shellyd67

    shellyd67 Active Member

    OH Insane I totally agree. He even said he is going to be in the "dumb" class.

    Several kids in his grade are in the program with him but it just doesn't matter.

    It is necessary that he goes like it or not ...

    He will calm down eventually ...
  5. InsaneCdn

    InsaneCdn Well-Known Member

    Are there no alternatives?
    like... off-site tutor, or at-home tutor? where the other kids don't know?
  6. shellyd67

    shellyd67 Active Member

    Other kids really aren't aware just the kids in the group with him. He came home on the bus and didn't stay and I am more than PO'd with him.

    He is so defiant and just acts as if he is a grown up and my equal. I am very upset and stressed over this right now and I am barely saying anything to him because I don't want it to get ugly.

    He is not going to his BB game tonight. He is a bench warmer anyway so it won't affect his team.

    This kid !!!!!!

    And as far as a tutor, I have reached out to the local highschool and have had no luck (no one wants to make a few extra bucks it seems) and he is totally OPPOSED to a tutor too !

    I am going to check with a nearby college after the holidays ...
  7. soapbox

    soapbox Member

    Are things getting worse?
    Just wondering.
    Based on age - lots of things escalate between grade 5 & 9...
    Plus based on mathemetical probability...

    He's ADHD, plus an Learning Disability (LD) (reading comp)... that gives him a 70% chance of also having an Auditory Processing Disorders (APD) (auditory processing disorder).... Has he ever been tested? if not, specifically ask about auditory figure ground.
  8. shellyd67

    shellyd67 Active Member

    Hi Soapbox, it is like a rollercoaster with difficult child... He is up and down. We just had his PTC and he is doing fairly well with the exception of Reading.

    His Teacher said he gets and A for effort with all his subjects.

    He has not been checked for Auditory Processing Disorders (APD) but I will request it. Is this something the school district will do or do we have to have a private evaluation ?