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This is never going to end is it?
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<blockquote data-quote="recoveringenabler" data-source="post: 562492" data-attributes="member: 13542"><p>Geez, JKF, I so understand..............no Mom should ever be in your shoes, and yet.................many of us have been...............many of us are..............what a choice to have to make. But, listen to me, you made the best choice, the only choice you can to protect your family, mostly your 11 year old, your marriage, your sanity, your health, your well being. Three people can't give up their lives for one who won't change. You are not the worst person ever, although, I recall feeling exactly that way. You are not responsible for this, he is. He is dealing with the consequences of his bad choices. </p><p></p><p>I was just listening to my group therapist say last night how amazing it still is to her that when we stop enabling our kids or our husbands, or whomever, how many of them move out of the mess they were in and make better choices. But it takes time and most of all it takes you to continue making those hard choices............I know how hard the choices are, but just remember, when he didn't get his way he started calling you names..................that is not a good sign, he is not remorseful, he is looking for the next easy way out...............</p><p></p><p>Remember a couple of weeks ago how alarmed and frightened you were thinking he was coming home? Try to imagine what life was like when he lived with you and how that impacted the three of you. I know this is really really hard, but you've begun a process here that takes time, and in the middle it really stinks, it's hard, and each step of the way you have to make these kinds of choices. It seems they get more and more dramatic too, as I recall from my own experience. Hang in there, YOU DID THE RIGHT THING. You called the shelters for him. That's all you can do. I'm sorry, I know how insane it makes you feel. (((HUGS))))</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="recoveringenabler, post: 562492, member: 13542"] Geez, JKF, I so understand..............no Mom should ever be in your shoes, and yet.................many of us have been...............many of us are..............what a choice to have to make. But, listen to me, you made the best choice, the only choice you can to protect your family, mostly your 11 year old, your marriage, your sanity, your health, your well being. Three people can't give up their lives for one who won't change. You are not the worst person ever, although, I recall feeling exactly that way. You are not responsible for this, he is. He is dealing with the consequences of his bad choices. I was just listening to my group therapist say last night how amazing it still is to her that when we stop enabling our kids or our husbands, or whomever, how many of them move out of the mess they were in and make better choices. But it takes time and most of all it takes you to continue making those hard choices............I know how hard the choices are, but just remember, when he didn't get his way he started calling you names..................that is not a good sign, he is not remorseful, he is looking for the next easy way out............... Remember a couple of weeks ago how alarmed and frightened you were thinking he was coming home? Try to imagine what life was like when he lived with you and how that impacted the three of you. I know this is really really hard, but you've begun a process here that takes time, and in the middle it really stinks, it's hard, and each step of the way you have to make these kinds of choices. It seems they get more and more dramatic too, as I recall from my own experience. Hang in there, YOU DID THE RIGHT THING. You called the shelters for him. That's all you can do. I'm sorry, I know how insane it makes you feel. (((HUGS)))) [/QUOTE]
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