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This is never going to end is it?
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<blockquote data-quote="Tiredof33" data-source="post: 562684" data-attributes="member: 13558"><p>JFK,</p><p>It is one of the hardest things you will ever do, as a mother it goes against every maternal instinct we have. There are so many great books on the market today, I wish they had been there when I first started this path.</p><p></p><p>A counselor told me about detachment many years ago. I wasn't able to do it either! She told me he will make the same decisions (right or wrong) whether you are sick with worry (literally) or not. Very true.</p><p></p><p>They are 'me' people at his age and difficult children are more so. For your own health you need to think of yourself, and as was pointed out, the others in your family.</p><p></p><p>It is so easy to tell others what to do and I can tell you from experience (as everyone else) he is going to do what he is going to do regardless! Mine would rather sleep on the woods than stay in a homeless shelter, and he thought it was so cool to panhandle. Where in the h*** did he come from?? I worked so hard to give him a good life and it hasn't been appreciated at all!</p><p></p><p>As has been said it is a process and for most of us a very slow one. I thought I had mine under control until my 33yo relasped and it jerked me back almost to the beginning.</p><p></p><p>The one thing I have learned is my loving child has turned into a selfish 'me' adult. All of the money and sacrifies I have made have not helped him (to my knowledge) but they have made me feel less guilt. in my opinion overcoming th guilt is one of the hardest. You did the best you could - it is so hard to not keep playing the movies 'what if' in our heads. What is done is done - what he wants to do he will do. </p><p></p><p>The thing that I noticed in your post was 'he asked for the CMO's number'. They are much more resourceful than we realize. He found a way to take care of himself. It's hard, all of us know that. And I agree that the weekends are hard.</p><p></p><p>This was one of the first support books I found. It is wriiten by a therapist, if she can't 'fix' her kid you know we can't lol! I hope you have a restful weekend. It honestly does get easier, but you have to work on it. </p><p><a href="http://www.support4change.com/index.php?option=com_content&view=article&id=131&Itemid=177/7/23.html" target="_blank">http://www.support4change.com/index.php?option=com_content&view=article&id=131&Itemid=177/7/23.html</a></p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Tiredof33, post: 562684, member: 13558"] JFK, It is one of the hardest things you will ever do, as a mother it goes against every maternal instinct we have. There are so many great books on the market today, I wish they had been there when I first started this path. A counselor told me about detachment many years ago. I wasn't able to do it either! She told me he will make the same decisions (right or wrong) whether you are sick with worry (literally) or not. Very true. They are 'me' people at his age and difficult children are more so. For your own health you need to think of yourself, and as was pointed out, the others in your family. It is so easy to tell others what to do and I can tell you from experience (as everyone else) he is going to do what he is going to do regardless! Mine would rather sleep on the woods than stay in a homeless shelter, and he thought it was so cool to panhandle. Where in the h*** did he come from?? I worked so hard to give him a good life and it hasn't been appreciated at all! As has been said it is a process and for most of us a very slow one. I thought I had mine under control until my 33yo relasped and it jerked me back almost to the beginning. The one thing I have learned is my loving child has turned into a selfish 'me' adult. All of the money and sacrifies I have made have not helped him (to my knowledge) but they have made me feel less guilt. in my opinion overcoming th guilt is one of the hardest. You did the best you could - it is so hard to not keep playing the movies 'what if' in our heads. What is done is done - what he wants to do he will do. The thing that I noticed in your post was 'he asked for the CMO's number'. They are much more resourceful than we realize. He found a way to take care of himself. It's hard, all of us know that. And I agree that the weekends are hard. This was one of the first support books I found. It is wriiten by a therapist, if she can't 'fix' her kid you know we can't lol! I hope you have a restful weekend. It honestly does get easier, but you have to work on it. [URL]http://www.support4change.com/index.php?option=com_content&view=article&id=131&Itemid=177/7/23.html[/URL] [/QUOTE]
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