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This just in....21 yr old who may have mental challenges but refusses to seek help.
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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 621022" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>Have you contacted social services to test him and to get him labeled disabled so that he can get adult services that will aid him in living on his own? My son has autistic spectrum disorder and seems less disabled than your child, but he is ready to live in his own apartment with his caseworker checking in on him. I am his payee because he can not handle money at all. I am also his legal guardian, but he is allowed to do most anything he likes because he is a really well behaved young man who has made many strides. He works at a sheltered workshop that is trying to get him a community job. He had one last year, but got laid off.Autism can be debilitating and they think differently than others. My son is the hardest worker in the world, but he clearly doesn't have a clue about living in our world, although he is getting better at it. This is different from being lazy or manipulative.</p><p></p><p>We can not be there for our disabled adult children forever. One day they will be without us. in my opinion it's best to prepare for that day and to get adult services so that they can live as independently as possible and learn to ask outsiders questions that they need answered. But you have to have him tested for disability first and it can take maybe three times before he is labeled as such.</p><p></p><p>Your only other option is to take care of him forever (not a good one for you or him) or to put him out, which in his case is probably cruel since he is mentally disabled and probably can't figure out how the survival skills that most of our adult children learn. My son bowls and plays softball in the adult Special Olympics and has made many friends by working at the sheltered workshop. Since he is higher functioning, most of his friends are too. He is a very happy young man; he just needs a little more help "out there" than kids who don't have his challenges.</p><p></p><p>I would never have put this particular young man out on the streets as he wasn't doing drugs or drinking and he is a very respectful young man who helps around the house...he just has more challenges than others. But I also won't let him stay here forever for his own good, and he luckily doesn't want to. Because of his exposure to other people who have various disabilities he wants to have his own place like most of them do. It has been a win/win all around.</p><p></p><p>While I believe the mentally ill who are violent need to leave t he house, I don't feel the same way about the cognitively delayed. You can plan for them to leave the house, and should, but they probably will need supports set up plus disability. Cognitive delays are NOT the same as mental illness. Any form of autism, which it may not affect IQ, is a cognitive difference that is very difficult to deal with. Your son has an IQ of 85...so it seems if he has Aspergers it is not high functioning Aspergers, but more middle-middle to lower. He does need your help, even now. He probably can't navigate for his own services. A psychiatrist/psychologist is not who this child needs to see. He probably has no idea who to see. You may not either.</p><p></p><p>I am curious as to why he has not been tested as disabled? Remember, often you need to do it three to five times before acceptance. This would qualify him for disability SSDI, job services, housing and many other services. This is worth fighting for. If you haven't done it yet, DO IT. You can not take this on as you don't have the clout with the right support people. I made sure my son had these services in place by the time he turned eighteen. In his case, his high school helped transition him. He was high functioning at school too. He was mainstreamed, but it was still clear that he was not a typical child. Job Services was actually the one who tested him for disability and I had private testing by a neuropsychologist done as well. He was accepted the first time, but that doesn't always happen.</p><p></p><p>Good luck. I hope you get proactive and fight for supports for your child. Have a peaceful, serene day <img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite1" alt=":)" title="Smile :)" loading="lazy" data-shortname=":)" /></p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 621022, member: 1550"] Have you contacted social services to test him and to get him labeled disabled so that he can get adult services that will aid him in living on his own? My son has autistic spectrum disorder and seems less disabled than your child, but he is ready to live in his own apartment with his caseworker checking in on him. I am his payee because he can not handle money at all. I am also his legal guardian, but he is allowed to do most anything he likes because he is a really well behaved young man who has made many strides. He works at a sheltered workshop that is trying to get him a community job. He had one last year, but got laid off.Autism can be debilitating and they think differently than others. My son is the hardest worker in the world, but he clearly doesn't have a clue about living in our world, although he is getting better at it. This is different from being lazy or manipulative. We can not be there for our disabled adult children forever. One day they will be without us. in my opinion it's best to prepare for that day and to get adult services so that they can live as independently as possible and learn to ask outsiders questions that they need answered. But you have to have him tested for disability first and it can take maybe three times before he is labeled as such. Your only other option is to take care of him forever (not a good one for you or him) or to put him out, which in his case is probably cruel since he is mentally disabled and probably can't figure out how the survival skills that most of our adult children learn. My son bowls and plays softball in the adult Special Olympics and has made many friends by working at the sheltered workshop. Since he is higher functioning, most of his friends are too. He is a very happy young man; he just needs a little more help "out there" than kids who don't have his challenges. I would never have put this particular young man out on the streets as he wasn't doing drugs or drinking and he is a very respectful young man who helps around the house...he just has more challenges than others. But I also won't let him stay here forever for his own good, and he luckily doesn't want to. Because of his exposure to other people who have various disabilities he wants to have his own place like most of them do. It has been a win/win all around. While I believe the mentally ill who are violent need to leave t he house, I don't feel the same way about the cognitively delayed. You can plan for them to leave the house, and should, but they probably will need supports set up plus disability. Cognitive delays are NOT the same as mental illness. Any form of autism, which it may not affect IQ, is a cognitive difference that is very difficult to deal with. Your son has an IQ of 85...so it seems if he has Aspergers it is not high functioning Aspergers, but more middle-middle to lower. He does need your help, even now. He probably can't navigate for his own services. A psychiatrist/psychologist is not who this child needs to see. He probably has no idea who to see. You may not either. I am curious as to why he has not been tested as disabled? Remember, often you need to do it three to five times before acceptance. This would qualify him for disability SSDI, job services, housing and many other services. This is worth fighting for. If you haven't done it yet, DO IT. You can not take this on as you don't have the clout with the right support people. I made sure my son had these services in place by the time he turned eighteen. In his case, his high school helped transition him. He was high functioning at school too. He was mainstreamed, but it was still clear that he was not a typical child. Job Services was actually the one who tested him for disability and I had private testing by a neuropsychologist done as well. He was accepted the first time, but that doesn't always happen. Good luck. I hope you get proactive and fight for supports for your child. Have a peaceful, serene day :) [/QUOTE]
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This just in....21 yr old who may have mental challenges but refusses to seek help.
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