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<blockquote data-quote="Marguerite" data-source="post: 234630" data-attributes="member: 1991"><p>Hi Gary, welcome.</p><p></p><p>A few important housekeeping matters - you need to be careful to not use your real name here, because at some point you might want to complain about a therapist, a teacher, a doctor - who knows? And if you can be tracked through a simple Google search, than you can't feel safe enough to complain freely when you need to.</p><p></p><p>Your son sounds like he has a number of problems which really need to be identified. Has he ever been assessed for ADHD or Asperger's? Sometimes an Aspie can present as "a little professor" with detailed knowledge and interest in a few very highly specific areas, coupled with apparent aloofness and condescending attitude to other people. They don't generally distinguish between themselves and other people (ie adults and children are all equal in their minds) and will treat other people in the same way those people treat tem. For example, a teacher or parent scolding or getting sarcastic, will find the child getting sarcastic and sometimes scolding, in return. They get very strong fixed ideas about what is acceptable, they are intense rule followers (as long as these are the rules as THEY understand them to be).</p><p></p><p>Often as they enter their teens they can get very depressed, especially with the strain of trying to fit in taking its toll. You can also get a lot of problems with anxiety but it's not always easily recognised. Sometimes it will show up as anger, or rudeness, or impatience.</p><p></p><p>How does he feel about himself as a person? What does he conceive himself to be? I suspect he would tell you that he hasn't got a problem, he just wishes everybody else would do what they should do, and stop bothering him. Or he might say that he just can't fit in, he feels always as if he's on the outside looking in. This is where they can get very depressed, as they begin to realise that no matter how hard they try, their efforts to fit in never seem to ber fruit or get recognised.</p><p></p><p>I'm not saying thta this IS Asperger's, only giving this as one possible example that could readily explain things. There are other possibilities but it takes an expert to make a professional diagnosis.</p><p></p><p>People here would recommend you begin with a neuropsychologist assessment. </p><p></p><p>Also, in terms of managing his behaviour day to day, people on this site swear by Ross Greene's "The Explosive Child". It gives you a different and often more effective way of viewing your child's behaviour.</p><p></p><p>Marg</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Marguerite, post: 234630, member: 1991"] Hi Gary, welcome. A few important housekeeping matters - you need to be careful to not use your real name here, because at some point you might want to complain about a therapist, a teacher, a doctor - who knows? And if you can be tracked through a simple Google search, than you can't feel safe enough to complain freely when you need to. Your son sounds like he has a number of problems which really need to be identified. Has he ever been assessed for ADHD or Asperger's? Sometimes an Aspie can present as "a little professor" with detailed knowledge and interest in a few very highly specific areas, coupled with apparent aloofness and condescending attitude to other people. They don't generally distinguish between themselves and other people (ie adults and children are all equal in their minds) and will treat other people in the same way those people treat tem. For example, a teacher or parent scolding or getting sarcastic, will find the child getting sarcastic and sometimes scolding, in return. They get very strong fixed ideas about what is acceptable, they are intense rule followers (as long as these are the rules as THEY understand them to be). Often as they enter their teens they can get very depressed, especially with the strain of trying to fit in taking its toll. You can also get a lot of problems with anxiety but it's not always easily recognised. Sometimes it will show up as anger, or rudeness, or impatience. How does he feel about himself as a person? What does he conceive himself to be? I suspect he would tell you that he hasn't got a problem, he just wishes everybody else would do what they should do, and stop bothering him. Or he might say that he just can't fit in, he feels always as if he's on the outside looking in. This is where they can get very depressed, as they begin to realise that no matter how hard they try, their efforts to fit in never seem to ber fruit or get recognised. I'm not saying thta this IS Asperger's, only giving this as one possible example that could readily explain things. There are other possibilities but it takes an expert to make a professional diagnosis. People here would recommend you begin with a neuropsychologist assessment. Also, in terms of managing his behaviour day to day, people on this site swear by Ross Greene's "The Explosive Child". It gives you a different and often more effective way of viewing your child's behaviour. Marg [/QUOTE]
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