Thoughts & feelings......rambling a bit this early morning.

Discussion in 'The Watercooler' started by timer lady, Jan 12, 2007.

  1. timer lady

    timer lady Queen of Hearts

    Another sleepless night. I thought I'd share with you some of my feelings about mom.

    I was honored & privileged to be her daughter. She was a lady of grace & dignity. I couldn't have had a better mom to show me what it took to parent my tweedles.

    She & I butted heads - she went to her grave hating my hair. The very first thing she told me when I walked into her hospital room is "I hate your hair". I replied "thank you for sharing, mom".

    There was an honesty (almost to the extreme) in my mother. She pulled off this bluntness with her extreme acts of kindness & acceptance of the important things.

    She was the only "real" grandmother my children knew & they are missing her.

    We are going to celebrate our first annual memorial cookoff next month in her honor. Just the immediate family this year.

    Thanks for letting me talk - there is a huge void in my life. I'm glad that she is no longer in pain & I miss mom.
     
  2. Fran

    Fran Former Site Owner

    I'm sorry for your loss. Your mom sounds like she was very special to you and there was a lot of respect.
    We each only get so many years and it seems she filled hers with a life well lived.
    We can only hope our kids say the same about us.
    Let her example lead you into the next chapter of your life Linda.
    Hugs.
     
  3. kris

    kris New Member

    <font color="brown">linda, i'm so sorry for your pain.

    we've spoken a lot about your mom & i've always admired the closeness you shared with-her. she was a woman of great strength & dignity, loyalty & love. she will, i'm sure, be missed by all who knew her.

    take care of yourself.

    kris :smile: </font>
     
  4. Wiped Out

    Wiped Out Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Linda,

    I am so sorry for your pain. The love in which you speak of your mom is so incredible. I had to laugh at her saying she didn't like your red hair! I think it's great you are doing the cook-off. It will be a great remembrance for you. Hugs to you my friend. :smile:
     
  5. Lori4ever

    Lori4ever New Member

    I, too, am so sorry you're hurting. It does sound like she was an awesome woman with a great relationship with her daughter. That is a wonderful thing. I'm sure she will be missed by many. Take care of yourself, this is a hard time for you. I am glad she was so special to you.
     
  6. tiredmommy

    tiredmommy Site Moderator

    {{{Linda}}}
    You truly have been blessed to have had such a wonderful Mom.
     
  7. ScentofCedar

    ScentofCedar New Member

    Linda, I just wanted you to know that I am reading along, too.

    Keep posting about the feelings as you go through them, Linda. What is happening to you now is something every one of us dreads. When I think of my own daughter going through the rest of her life without me there ~ that is even worse.

    Only a mother could tell you she hated your hair, and get away with it. :smile:

    Thinking of you this morning, Linda ~ and of my own mother, and my own daughter.

    I am a grandmother, as well.

    I wish I were wiser than I am.

    Barbara
     
  8. Suz

    Suz (the future) MRS. GERE

    I miss my mom too, Linda. It's a void that never fills but thankfully it's a void that you cherish and are grateful for because it means that you were blessed.

    Hugs,
    Suz
     
  9. Lothlorien

    Lothlorien Active Member Staff Member

    It's good to talk (or type) and get it out. It sounds like she was a wonderful woman. I'm sure she felt just as blessed to have you for a daughter.
    Hugs.
     
  10. Janna

    Janna New Member

    Linda,

    I'm glad you have a comfortable place to talk about your mom. She sounds like a great woman.

    I'm sorry you're hurting, but happy you have enjoyable memories to recall.

    Janna
     
  11. hearts and roses

    hearts and roses Mind Reader

    {{Linda}} Your short and sweet tribute to your mom brought tears to my eyes.

    It's kind of strange how we can find some joy in the not-so-nice memories as well as the great ones. I'm so sorry for your pain and hope that as you remember all those little things you love about your mom, it will be lessened each day.

    Gentle hugs.
     
  12. mstang67chic

    mstang67chic Going Green

    Linda, sending you lots of hugs. The little I've heard about her tells me she was a great lady. What a great tribute to her as a mother, you saying you learned it all from her. Take care of yourself, cherish your memories and keepsakes and I hope there is a lot of laughter with what I'm sure will be a few tears at your cookoff.
     
  13. Just keep swimming

    Just keep swimming New Member

    Linda,

    I am so sorry for your and your family's loss of such a wonderful person. I am also glad that you were able to be there with her to the end. When husband lost his dad, he had been staying with him and they mended alot of "fences" and husband felt a sense of relief. His brother and sister are still struggling, 10 years later, as they had left alot of "yuck" unsettled. Although husband was very sad, he did not feel the guilt or what-have-you that his sibs did. Just like your Mom, my father in law left us way too soon! I am thankful my older kids were able to build some memories of their Grand Pop!

    Anyways, my prayers and good thoughts to you and your family!

    Hugs,
    Vickie
     
  14. totoro

    totoro Mom? What's a GFG?

    Your post made me think of my Mom as well... I lost her very young. So I try to hold on to the few memories I have.
    It makes me want to live a healthier life and be a better Mom to my girls...

    Your post makes me appreciate being a Mom and my Mom.

    Sorry you are hurting.
     
  15. BonnieJean

    BonnieJean Active Member

    <font color="purple">Linda, I sent you a PM</font>

    <font color="purple">Take care!</font>
    <font color="purple">BonnieJean</font>
    :smile:
     
  16. SearchingForRainbows

    SearchingForRainbows Active Member

    Linda, I can't even begin to imagine what you are going through... I'm so sorry you lost your mother. From your post I can tell you were lucky to be the daughter of such a wonderful woman...Let those closest to you help you through this most difficult time.
    Please take care of yourself...You are in my thoughts and prayers...WFEN
     
  17. transformtriumph

    transformtriumph New Member

    There is a deeper understanding between women whose mothers have died. Our mothers are unique and irreplaceable.
     
  18. rejectedmom

    rejectedmom New Member

    Linda, My mom died in 2002. Sometimes I still think I'll call her to chat or tell her some little bit of news or a funny anecdote and then remember that I don't need a phone for that anymore. My sister's and I also made up a new tradition after my mom died. She had this ugly porcelain tomato that she kept for years. We don't remember how she came to own it but we do remember teasing her about it alot. It had a place of honor on a shelf over the sink in the house we grew up in and then she moved and it found it's way to the new shelf over the new sink. Well none of us could bear the thought of sending it off to the Goodwill when we packed up her townhouse so it came home with me. I decided that it should become the family ambassador of good will and my sisters agreed. So whenever someone is having a bad time or just to tell one of the sibs that she is thought of and loved we pack up the tomato with a little gift and send it off. It never fails to bring a loving thought and a small giggle to the recipiant. As you can guess it has spent alot of time at my house. But you have reminded me that it is time for the tomato to fly once again.

    (((HUGS))) to you. I know this hurts but it does get easier. -RM
     
  19. timer lady

    timer lady Queen of Hearts

    I appreciate the cyber shoulder & all the encouragement. I found out just how much like my mother I am at the funeral service - in fact, she taught all 3 of her daughters to be strong competent, compassionate ladies.

    Mom had an elegant send off.

    I'm moving on with life (while taking time to be sad when necessary). kt comes home by mid February at the latest.

    If I can leave the legacy for my tweedles that my mom left for us, I can be at peace with my life.

    Thank you all. :smile:
     
  20. Sue C

    Sue C Active Member

    Linda, I am sorry for the huge void in your life. I understand. I still miss my dad very much after 2-1/2 years. Sometimes I think he's going to come over to visit. Then I remind myself that he's not coming. I don't know if we'll ever get over our parents dying. They had such an important role in our families, and we loved them so much.

    You can remember the good memories but sometimes some of the other memories are nice, too, or even funny. Like my dad laying in his hospital bed and me walking in and him saying, "You've put on some weight, haven't you?" Not exactly the kind of thing you want to hear. Just like your mom saying she hated your hair. But even though those comments were negative, they froze a moment of time in our memories forever with our loved ones.

    Take care,
    Sue
     
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