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time for house rules
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<blockquote data-quote="Marguerite" data-source="post: 261962" data-attributes="member: 1991"><p>Just reiterating - the rubbing alcohol susie mentions is the ispropyl alcohol husband (Marg's Man) mentioned. He used to work for years in the paint industry and specialised in graffiti removal, so he really does know his stuff here.</p><p></p><p>As for the moral side of it - I really don't think it matters whether it's you or your partner who supervises/suppports the clening effort, but certianly their father should be reinforcing your will in this, whichever of you gets involved. I think he should be getting involvedalso, maybe both of you as a team so the kid(s) can see that you are both in accord on this. Otherwise it can be seen as an opportunity to keep misbehaving to cause friction between you.</p><p></p><p>I had problems with difficult child 1 & easy child 2/difficult child 2 (when younger) leaving fecal stripes on the walls in the loo, they would be careless wiping themselves and then wipe it on the walls. I kept saying, "Use the toilet paper to wipe your fingers, then go wash your hands," but still the walls got decorated. So I fetched a scrubbing brush and they both got clean-up duty. Each blamed the other but I had watched to see when it happened and frankly, they were both equally guilty, so they got to take turns until I could be sure it was only one of them - then that child alone got wall-washing duty. I did help a bit, I talked them through it mostly, because after all they were only about 6 -8 years old at the time. In difficult child 1's bedroom it was clear he was the only culprit, the problem there was squashed mosquito corpses on the ceilnig, difficult child 1 insisted they had to be left there as a deterrent to other mozzies! I had to stand in the doorway and insist that mosquitoes don't have enough neurons to have the capacity to recognise deterrent when confronted with it.</p><p></p><p>Also a very strong suggestion - for now, go through the house and remove all permanent markers. Lock them away. I would also consider - was this an act of pure thoughtlessness, or was there malice in it, choosing the marker that would do the most damage and the room where the damage would have the most impact on you.</p><p></p><p>Susie's suggestion of expressing the rule of "write only on blank paper provided for the purpose" is better than "do not write on walls" because if there is a way to get around the spirit of the rule, kids will find a way. I also think a really effective consequence would be to keep ALL writing implements under lock and key, they can only be used under supervision after earning the privilege. Certainly if this happens again, I would implement this rule. Pencils only, perhaps, because pencil on the wall can be easily removed.</p><p></p><p>If necessary, convert your home to a plastic-coated padded cell until the kids learn to respect other people's space.</p><p></p><p>Marg</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Marguerite, post: 261962, member: 1991"] Just reiterating - the rubbing alcohol susie mentions is the ispropyl alcohol husband (Marg's Man) mentioned. He used to work for years in the paint industry and specialised in graffiti removal, so he really does know his stuff here. As for the moral side of it - I really don't think it matters whether it's you or your partner who supervises/suppports the clening effort, but certianly their father should be reinforcing your will in this, whichever of you gets involved. I think he should be getting involvedalso, maybe both of you as a team so the kid(s) can see that you are both in accord on this. Otherwise it can be seen as an opportunity to keep misbehaving to cause friction between you. I had problems with difficult child 1 & easy child 2/difficult child 2 (when younger) leaving fecal stripes on the walls in the loo, they would be careless wiping themselves and then wipe it on the walls. I kept saying, "Use the toilet paper to wipe your fingers, then go wash your hands," but still the walls got decorated. So I fetched a scrubbing brush and they both got clean-up duty. Each blamed the other but I had watched to see when it happened and frankly, they were both equally guilty, so they got to take turns until I could be sure it was only one of them - then that child alone got wall-washing duty. I did help a bit, I talked them through it mostly, because after all they were only about 6 -8 years old at the time. In difficult child 1's bedroom it was clear he was the only culprit, the problem there was squashed mosquito corpses on the ceilnig, difficult child 1 insisted they had to be left there as a deterrent to other mozzies! I had to stand in the doorway and insist that mosquitoes don't have enough neurons to have the capacity to recognise deterrent when confronted with it. Also a very strong suggestion - for now, go through the house and remove all permanent markers. Lock them away. I would also consider - was this an act of pure thoughtlessness, or was there malice in it, choosing the marker that would do the most damage and the room where the damage would have the most impact on you. Susie's suggestion of expressing the rule of "write only on blank paper provided for the purpose" is better than "do not write on walls" because if there is a way to get around the spirit of the rule, kids will find a way. I also think a really effective consequence would be to keep ALL writing implements under lock and key, they can only be used under supervision after earning the privilege. Certainly if this happens again, I would implement this rule. Pencils only, perhaps, because pencil on the wall can be easily removed. If necessary, convert your home to a plastic-coated padded cell until the kids learn to respect other people's space. Marg [/QUOTE]
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