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tired of pp with easy child! should i feel this way?
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<blockquote data-quote="Star*" data-source="post: 96069" data-attributes="member: 4964"><p>First off let me start by saying welcome - I'm Star or The Loan Ranger. We have not met yet. You wanted to know if anyone else felt like you - 4000+ members? You can't be alone! You've found a place to be normal for feeling like your life isn't. We've ALL been there, some of us are there now, some of us will be there in future days. </p><p></p><p>I'd like to think that I've found the leveling agent to a difficult child in knowledge. Cry me a river - mine was deNILE. I was in denial for so many years about difficult child. I kept reading and researching (that's how I found my home here) and reading - and talking and living the life and denying it mostly, hoping that with the right pills, therapy, out of home placement 18 months at a time, parenting skills that he would "just grow out of "IT"</p><p></p><p>The reality of this disorder is that they CAN learn to behave. They can learn and with consistent therapy, and a family that can adapt and learn what will work best for the behaviors you're going to be up against. EVERYONE lives with difficult child - then EVERYONE should participate in the process. Those who don't live with him will have very little idea that life in your house is sometimes chaotic, and sublime. </p><p></p><p>As far as your friend goes with her overachieving, wonderful, tranquil, trophy children? Good for her. Don't ever envy anyone for their life. Appreciate your child for his good and bad characters. Embrace the good and work diligently toward changing the characteristics and behaviors that are bad. Educate yourself as to what are the things in life that will benefit you, and him. </p><p></p><p>Don't worry or put too much stock in the fact that people who aren't chosen to raise a difficult child don't understand - Heck we don't understand them either and WE live with them. I figured out somewhere along the way that I must be SO special to have a kid like this - and instead of fighting it, I just did what I could to appreciate it. Remember too when this world stops being perfect it will be YOU that will be the help because of your world going wobbity wobbity wobbity and your friend not being able to hang on to anything less than perfect. </p><p></p><p>You never know what your friends life was like growing up either. I have a friend with 3 trophy children and I tired after 7 years of hearing about all the accomplishments and compliments and awards, rewards, congratulations - but I knew that my friend was beaten severely as a child and for all she gave up then - this was her way of making life livable for herself. You just never know. My bet would be you either learn to live with her bragging or find a new friend. I did a little of both. We're not as close as we once were - and that's okay she doesn't have to hear me whine about difficult child, and I don't have to hear her go on and on about her trophy kids. I'm happy for her - but she will NEVER understand my life and situation. </p><p></p><p>It's up to YOU to make the most of what you have been given. Personally I would have never made it without weekly therapy sessions. I needed to have someone to talk to for an hour that gave me professional insight and suggestions to better myself as a person and a parent. It was about the only thing that we found after 11 years that benefited our son too. </p><p></p><p>Come back - come every day if you like. The motto is - you've found a soft place to land. You'll also find we have soft hearts and wills of iron. </p><p></p><p>Hugs</p><p>Star</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Star*, post: 96069, member: 4964"] First off let me start by saying welcome - I'm Star or The Loan Ranger. We have not met yet. You wanted to know if anyone else felt like you - 4000+ members? You can't be alone! You've found a place to be normal for feeling like your life isn't. We've ALL been there, some of us are there now, some of us will be there in future days. I'd like to think that I've found the leveling agent to a difficult child in knowledge. Cry me a river - mine was deNILE. I was in denial for so many years about difficult child. I kept reading and researching (that's how I found my home here) and reading - and talking and living the life and denying it mostly, hoping that with the right pills, therapy, out of home placement 18 months at a time, parenting skills that he would "just grow out of "IT" The reality of this disorder is that they CAN learn to behave. They can learn and with consistent therapy, and a family that can adapt and learn what will work best for the behaviors you're going to be up against. EVERYONE lives with difficult child - then EVERYONE should participate in the process. Those who don't live with him will have very little idea that life in your house is sometimes chaotic, and sublime. As far as your friend goes with her overachieving, wonderful, tranquil, trophy children? Good for her. Don't ever envy anyone for their life. Appreciate your child for his good and bad characters. Embrace the good and work diligently toward changing the characteristics and behaviors that are bad. Educate yourself as to what are the things in life that will benefit you, and him. Don't worry or put too much stock in the fact that people who aren't chosen to raise a difficult child don't understand - Heck we don't understand them either and WE live with them. I figured out somewhere along the way that I must be SO special to have a kid like this - and instead of fighting it, I just did what I could to appreciate it. Remember too when this world stops being perfect it will be YOU that will be the help because of your world going wobbity wobbity wobbity and your friend not being able to hang on to anything less than perfect. You never know what your friends life was like growing up either. I have a friend with 3 trophy children and I tired after 7 years of hearing about all the accomplishments and compliments and awards, rewards, congratulations - but I knew that my friend was beaten severely as a child and for all she gave up then - this was her way of making life livable for herself. You just never know. My bet would be you either learn to live with her bragging or find a new friend. I did a little of both. We're not as close as we once were - and that's okay she doesn't have to hear me whine about difficult child, and I don't have to hear her go on and on about her trophy kids. I'm happy for her - but she will NEVER understand my life and situation. It's up to YOU to make the most of what you have been given. Personally I would have never made it without weekly therapy sessions. I needed to have someone to talk to for an hour that gave me professional insight and suggestions to better myself as a person and a parent. It was about the only thing that we found after 11 years that benefited our son too. Come back - come every day if you like. The motto is - you've found a soft place to land. You'll also find we have soft hearts and wills of iron. Hugs Star [/QUOTE]
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tired of pp with easy child! should i feel this way?
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