Forums
New posts
Search forums
What's new
New posts
New profile posts
Latest activity
Internet Search
Members
Current visitors
New profile posts
Search profile posts
Log in
Register
What's new
Search
Search
Search titles only
By:
New posts
Search forums
Menu
Log in
Register
Install the app
Install
Forums
Parent Support Forums
Parent Emeritus
To cosignn or not to cosign..... ugh
JavaScript is disabled. For a better experience, please enable JavaScript in your browser before proceeding.
You are using an out of date browser. It may not display this or other websites correctly.
You should upgrade or use an
alternative browser
.
Reply to thread
Message
<blockquote data-quote="SearchingForRainbows" data-source="post: 429693" data-attributes="member: 3388"><p>I would not cosign under any circumstances. I would let natural consequences take over. My oldest son, difficult child 1, needs a place to live too. If he remains where he is now, I don't see anything good coming out of it. As much as the mom in me wants to help him, I'm trying really hard to DETACH while his plans for the future are starting to unravel. Hopefully, difficult child 1 will learn from this, not make the same poor choices again, and will get his life back on track. </p><p></p><p>It sounds like your difficult child is one step ahead of mine, having already made the poor choices and now trying to put his life back together. I still wouldn't cosign because I think if you do, it'll make it too easy for him to forget about those natural consequences which got him where he is in the first place. And, as others have said, you could be left having to pay the entire year's lease. </p><p></p><p>If deep inside you truly believe your difficult child is sincere in turning his life around, as someone already said, I might help out by giving him the first months rent and security deposit. However, I would really have to think about this before handing him the check. Before giving him the money, I would make it clear that if he repeats his past mistakes, you will NEVER again help him financially.</p><p></p><p>While it is easy for me to say all of this, I know how tough a time I'm having following my own advice. I just keep hoping that if I repeat DETACHMENT enough times over and over again, I'll somehow, be able to stay detached without it breaking my heart... I really feel for you. There is nothing worse then wanting to save your child from himself and not being able to do so. SFR</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="SearchingForRainbows, post: 429693, member: 3388"] I would not cosign under any circumstances. I would let natural consequences take over. My oldest son, difficult child 1, needs a place to live too. If he remains where he is now, I don't see anything good coming out of it. As much as the mom in me wants to help him, I'm trying really hard to DETACH while his plans for the future are starting to unravel. Hopefully, difficult child 1 will learn from this, not make the same poor choices again, and will get his life back on track. It sounds like your difficult child is one step ahead of mine, having already made the poor choices and now trying to put his life back together. I still wouldn't cosign because I think if you do, it'll make it too easy for him to forget about those natural consequences which got him where he is in the first place. And, as others have said, you could be left having to pay the entire year's lease. If deep inside you truly believe your difficult child is sincere in turning his life around, as someone already said, I might help out by giving him the first months rent and security deposit. However, I would really have to think about this before handing him the check. Before giving him the money, I would make it clear that if he repeats his past mistakes, you will NEVER again help him financially. While it is easy for me to say all of this, I know how tough a time I'm having following my own advice. I just keep hoping that if I repeat DETACHMENT enough times over and over again, I'll somehow, be able to stay detached without it breaking my heart... I really feel for you. There is nothing worse then wanting to save your child from himself and not being able to do so. SFR [/QUOTE]
Insert quotes…
Verification
Post reply
Forums
Parent Support Forums
Parent Emeritus
To cosignn or not to cosign..... ugh
Top