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To God; from the dog...
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<blockquote data-quote="Kjs" data-source="post: 259381"><p><span style="color: black"><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><strong>TO: GOD </strong> </span></span></span><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><strong>FROM: THE DOG</strong> </span></span> </p><p> </p><p><span style="color: black"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'">Dear God: Is it on purpose our names are the same, only reversed? </span></span></p><p> </p><p><span style="color: black"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'">Dear God: Why do humans smell the flowers, but seldom, if ever, smell one another? </span></span></p><p> </p><p><span style="color: black"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'">Dear God: When we get to heaven, can we sit on your couch? Or is it still the same old story? </span></span></p><p> </p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="color: black">Dear God: Why are there cars named after the jaguar, the cougar, the mustang, the colt, the stingray, and the rabbit, but not ONE named for a Dog? How often do you see a cougar riding around? We do love a nice ride! Would it be so hard to </span><span style="color: navy">rename</span><span style="color: black"> the 'Chrysler Eagle' the 'Chrysler Beagle'? </span></span></p><p> </p><p><span style="color: black"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'">Dear God: If a Dog barks his head off in the forest and no human hears him, is he still a bad Dog? </span></span></p><p> </p><p><span style="color: black"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'">Dear God: We Dogs can understand human verbal instructions, hand signals, whistles, horns, clickers, beepers, scent ID's, electromagnetic energy fields, and Frisbee flight paths. What do humans understand? </span></span></p><p> </p><p><span style="color: black"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'">Dear God: More meatballs, less spaghetti, please. </span></span></p><p> </p><p><span style="color: black"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'">Dear God: Are there mailmen in Heaven? If there are, will I have to apologize?</span></span></p><p> </p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="color: black">Dear God: Let me give you a list of just some of the things I must remember to be a good Dog</span><span style="color: navy">:</span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><strong><span style="color: navy">1</span></strong><span style="color: black">. I will not eat the cats' food before they eat it or after they throw it up. </span></span></p><p><span style="color: black"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'">2. I will not roll on dead seagulls, fish, crabs, etc., just because I like the way they smell. </span></span></p><p><span style="color: black"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'">3. The Litter Box is not a cookie jar.. </span></span></p><p><span style="color: black"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'">4. The sofa is not a 'face towel'. </span></span></p><p><span style="color: black"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'">5. The garbage collector is not stealing our stuff. </span></span></p><p><span style="color: black"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'">6. I will not play tug-of-war with Dad's underwear when he's on the toilet. </span></span></p><p><span style="color: black"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'">7. Sticking my nose into someone's crotch is an unacceptable way of saying 'hello'. </span></span></p><p><span style="color: black"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'">8. I don't need to suddenly stand straight up when I'm under the coffee table </span></span></p><p><span style="color: black"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'">9. I must shake the rainwater out of my fur before entering the house - not after. </span></span></p><p><span style="color: black"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'">10. I will not come in from outside and immediately drag my butt on the carpet...</span></span></p><p><span style="color: black"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'">11. I will not sit in the middle of the living room and lick my crotch. </span></span></p><p><span style="color: black"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'">12. The cat is not a 'squeaky toy' so when I play with him and he makes that noise, it's usually not a good thing. </span></span></p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p><span style="color: black"><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'">P.S. Dear God: When I get to Heaven may I have my testicles back? </span></span></span></p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="color: black"> </span><span style="color: maroon">'Until one has loved an animal, part of their soul remains unawakened'</span></span></span></p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Kjs, post: 259381"] [COLOR=black][SIZE=3][FONT=Times New Roman][B]TO: GOD [/B][COLOR=black][FONT=Times New Roman] [/FONT][/COLOR][/FONT][/SIZE][/COLOR][SIZE=3][FONT=Times New Roman][B]FROM: THE DOG[/B] [/FONT][/SIZE][COLOR=black][COLOR=black][FONT=Times New Roman] [COLOR=black][FONT=Times New Roman] [/FONT][/COLOR][/FONT][/COLOR][/COLOR] [COLOR=black][FONT=Times New Roman][SIZE=3] [/SIZE][/FONT][/COLOR] [COLOR=black][FONT=Times New Roman]Dear God: Is it on purpose our names are the same, only reversed? [/FONT][/COLOR] [COLOR=black][FONT=Times New Roman] [/FONT][/COLOR] [COLOR=black][FONT=Times New Roman]Dear God: Why do humans smell the flowers, but seldom, if ever, smell one another? [/FONT][/COLOR] [COLOR=black][FONT=Times New Roman] [/FONT][/COLOR] [COLOR=black][FONT=Times New Roman]Dear God: When we get to heaven, can we sit on your couch? Or is it still the same old story? [/FONT][/COLOR] [COLOR=black][FONT=Times New Roman] [/FONT][/COLOR] [FONT=Times New Roman][COLOR=black]Dear God: Why are there cars named after the jaguar, the cougar, the mustang, the colt, the stingray, and the rabbit, but not ONE named for a Dog? How often do you see a cougar riding around? We do love a nice ride! Would it be so hard to [/COLOR][COLOR=navy]rename[/COLOR][COLOR=black] the 'Chrysler Eagle' the 'Chrysler Beagle'? [/COLOR][/FONT] [COLOR=black][FONT=Times New Roman] [/FONT][/COLOR] [COLOR=black][FONT=Times New Roman]Dear God: If a Dog barks his head off in the forest and no human hears him, is he still a bad Dog? [/FONT][/COLOR] [COLOR=black][FONT=Times New Roman] [/FONT][/COLOR] [COLOR=black][FONT=Times New Roman]Dear God: We Dogs can understand human verbal instructions, hand signals, whistles, horns, clickers, beepers, scent ID's, electromagnetic energy fields, and Frisbee flight paths. What do humans understand? [/FONT][/COLOR] [COLOR=black][FONT=Times New Roman] [/FONT][/COLOR] [COLOR=black][FONT=Times New Roman]Dear God: More meatballs, less spaghetti, please. [/FONT][/COLOR] [COLOR=black][FONT=Times New Roman] [/FONT][/COLOR] [COLOR=black][FONT=Times New Roman]Dear God: Are there mailmen in Heaven? If there are, will I have to apologize?[/FONT][/COLOR] [COLOR=black][FONT=Times New Roman] [/FONT][/COLOR] [FONT=Times New Roman][COLOR=black]Dear God: Let me give you a list of just some of the things I must remember to be a good Dog[/COLOR][COLOR=navy]:[/COLOR][/FONT] [FONT=Times New Roman][B][COLOR=navy]1[/COLOR][/B][COLOR=black]. I will not eat the cats' food before they eat it or after they throw it up. [/COLOR][/FONT] [COLOR=black][FONT=Times New Roman]2. I will not roll on dead seagulls, fish, crabs, etc., just because I like the way they smell. [/FONT][/COLOR] [COLOR=black][FONT=Times New Roman]3. The Litter Box is not a cookie jar.. [/FONT][/COLOR] [COLOR=black][FONT=Times New Roman]4. The sofa is not a 'face towel'. [/FONT][/COLOR] [COLOR=black][FONT=Times New Roman]5. The garbage collector is not stealing our stuff. [/FONT][/COLOR] [COLOR=black][FONT=Times New Roman]6. I will not play tug-of-war with Dad's underwear when he's on the toilet. [/FONT][/COLOR] [COLOR=black][FONT=Times New Roman]7. Sticking my nose into someone's crotch is an unacceptable way of saying 'hello'. [/FONT][/COLOR] [COLOR=black][FONT=Times New Roman]8. I don't need to suddenly stand straight up when I'm under the coffee table [/FONT][/COLOR] [COLOR=black][FONT=Times New Roman]9. I must shake the rainwater out of my fur before entering the house - not after. [/FONT][/COLOR] [COLOR=black][FONT=Times New Roman]10. I will not come in from outside and immediately drag my butt on the carpet...[/FONT][/COLOR] [COLOR=black][FONT=Times New Roman]11. I will not sit in the middle of the living room and lick my crotch. [/FONT][/COLOR] [COLOR=black][FONT=Times New Roman]12. The cat is not a 'squeaky toy' so when I play with him and he makes that noise, it's usually not a good thing. [/FONT][/COLOR] [COLOR=black][FONT=Times New Roman] [/FONT][/COLOR] [COLOR=black][FONT=Times New Roman] [/FONT][/COLOR] [COLOR=black][FONT=Times New Roman][SIZE=3] [/SIZE][/FONT][/COLOR] [COLOR=black][SIZE=3][FONT=Times New Roman]P.S. Dear God: When I get to Heaven may I have my testicles back? [/FONT][/SIZE][/COLOR] [COLOR=black][FONT=Times New Roman][SIZE=3] [/SIZE][/FONT][/COLOR] [COLOR=black][FONT=Times New Roman][SIZE=3] [/SIZE][/FONT][/COLOR] [COLOR=black][FONT=Times New Roman][SIZE=3] [/SIZE][/FONT][/COLOR] [SIZE=3][FONT=Times New Roman][COLOR=black] [/COLOR][COLOR=maroon]'Until one has loved an animal, part of their soul remains unawakened'[/COLOR][/FONT][/SIZE] [/QUOTE]
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To God; from the dog...
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