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today was the day
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<blockquote data-quote="Steely" data-source="post: 243372" data-attributes="member: 3301"><p>Well, I made it through both the weather and my metaphorically stormy night last night, only to awaken and feel the horrible feeling that someone was dead. Once I could shake the sleep from my brain, I realized it was H. She was dead, she has been dead - and yet there are many times I still have to remind myself that she is gone. How many times, will I have to remind myself, before it becomes my reality.</p><p></p><p>I think I may be experiencing PTSD stuff today. I am all shakey and foggy in the brain, and anxious. I have to truly say looking for her for those 2 weeks was one of the most traumatic things in my life. Her death was tragic; her missing for 2 weeks, hiking every square inch of Portland looking for her, the cops banning me from the investigation, and all the fights with my parents. <em>That</em> was traumatic. I feel like I suffered through 2 different ordeals, but yet they converged as one.</p><p></p><p>I do not feel like I can go to work today, but I guess I have to. I just can't think straight, and I am all wonky inside.</p><p></p><p>Thanks for your never ending support.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Steely, post: 243372, member: 3301"] Well, I made it through both the weather and my metaphorically stormy night last night, only to awaken and feel the horrible feeling that someone was dead. Once I could shake the sleep from my brain, I realized it was H. She was dead, she has been dead - and yet there are many times I still have to remind myself that she is gone. How many times, will I have to remind myself, before it becomes my reality. I think I may be experiencing PTSD stuff today. I am all shakey and foggy in the brain, and anxious. I have to truly say looking for her for those 2 weeks was one of the most traumatic things in my life. Her death was tragic; her missing for 2 weeks, hiking every square inch of Portland looking for her, the cops banning me from the investigation, and all the fights with my parents. [I]That[/I] was traumatic. I feel like I suffered through 2 different ordeals, but yet they converged as one. I do not feel like I can go to work today, but I guess I have to. I just can't think straight, and I am all wonky inside. Thanks for your never ending support. [/QUOTE]
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