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<blockquote data-quote="susiestar" data-source="post: 498873" data-attributes="member: 1233"><p>Keep telling them that he isn't coming home. You might consider drafting a letter to the head of the facility (who probably does not see patients at all) telling him that you are concerned because your son does not do well at home and he is NOT going to live in your home but the staff seems to be ignoring this and working on reunification. I have often found that going to the top of the agency/group can get results. NO ONE wants their boss to hear they are not listening to a minor child's parent. It just isn't good for them professionally. So write the letter and ask how you can get this information across to the treatment team because the more you tell them that he needs to prepare for independent living because you won't have him live at home again, the more they talk about how great he is doing and about reunification.</p><p></p><p>Make sure difficult child knows that this is the plan. Don't fall for the "don't you love me" and "you owe me" koi. </p><p></p><p>Instead of lettng family therapy pass like todays, why not take the next session and bring up difficult child's anger toward you. Trigger him if needed. Get him to show them how he treats you when thngs are not going the way he wants them to. Chances are they have NO clue he can act like that because they don't listen to you and he isn't like that there. it won't be fun, but it might get them to open their eyes.</p><p></p><p>These are just ideas. It is okay if they are not things that will work for you.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="susiestar, post: 498873, member: 1233"] Keep telling them that he isn't coming home. You might consider drafting a letter to the head of the facility (who probably does not see patients at all) telling him that you are concerned because your son does not do well at home and he is NOT going to live in your home but the staff seems to be ignoring this and working on reunification. I have often found that going to the top of the agency/group can get results. NO ONE wants their boss to hear they are not listening to a minor child's parent. It just isn't good for them professionally. So write the letter and ask how you can get this information across to the treatment team because the more you tell them that he needs to prepare for independent living because you won't have him live at home again, the more they talk about how great he is doing and about reunification. Make sure difficult child knows that this is the plan. Don't fall for the "don't you love me" and "you owe me" koi. Instead of lettng family therapy pass like todays, why not take the next session and bring up difficult child's anger toward you. Trigger him if needed. Get him to show them how he treats you when thngs are not going the way he wants them to. Chances are they have NO clue he can act like that because they don't listen to you and he isn't like that there. it won't be fun, but it might get them to open their eyes. These are just ideas. It is okay if they are not things that will work for you. [/QUOTE]
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