Lot's have been discussed today.
She started by telling what she observed in the classroom last week: very good social skills! V was able to play with 2 different friends (not simultaneously) for about 20 minutes. And he had appropriate emotions along with it (smiles, laugh). So that is good.
She read a book about feelings with him and she admitted that V, indeed, has no concept of emotions (his own or other's). Which I knew already... I am not sure what it means or what kind of impact it has on his life (our lives!). I have tried a lot of different techniques to teach him but just kept on hitting a wall and gave up on it for now.
She kind of busted my bubble and said I will be his main and probably only source of real help. That it was indeed very stressful and I should brace myself for the long haul. There is no quick or easy solutions. If there was, I would have found it already. She made me talked about a similar situation of constant stress, kind of to show me that I have it in me. She also asked what my biggest coping method was. My immediate answer was husband and the fact that we are very united in our battles (including dealing with V). I guess she called a relationship mechanism (or similar term..). She thought it was a healthy way of coping.
She mentioned that she could also help me build on my skills in order to not be overly affected by V's behavior. I'm all for it but I also reminded her that V also needs to learn in the process. We can't keep on accomodating him without teaching HIM the necessary skils he is lacking.
That lead to a lenghthy discussion on V's triggers, what we should tackle first and how to be realistic in what can be expected from him. There are going to be different expectations for V compare to his siblings (which I explained was already the case and gave some examples). But we needs to make V understand that those expectations are different for now but not forever.
She wants me to start doing some reflectology (?spellling?) with what V tries to tell me. She explained that I don't need to understand the meaning, but simply repeat his words in a nice and clear tone. This technique is for the long run and I should not expect any results in the short term. It will help V's communications skills and help me understand is world better. She said I could try to find an interpretion of what he tries to communicate but to always let him know that he can say "no, that's not what i meant".
I did agknowledge not knowing what V tries to tell me 75% of the time. Unlike Partner who I always understand. She smiles and said that Partner was a very linear kid, kind of a little adult. V, on the other hand, is very abstract, more than most kids. I'm not quite sure what she means by that... any insight?
We have an other appointment in 2 weeks. Which I'm glad we don't have to wait 1 month (like originally agreed). She will also see V at school next week.
Basically, she will be working with V weekly. It does reassure me that she is up for the challenge.
And last, she could not give me any advice on wether to pull V out of school or not. V benefits from the social interaction that school offers but is much worst at home. on the other hand, she knows we are an active household and that keeping him home would provide enough stimulation for him, but I would not have any breaks. Kind of a catch 22.
Please, wise people of the board, share your insight!
She started by telling what she observed in the classroom last week: very good social skills! V was able to play with 2 different friends (not simultaneously) for about 20 minutes. And he had appropriate emotions along with it (smiles, laugh). So that is good.
She read a book about feelings with him and she admitted that V, indeed, has no concept of emotions (his own or other's). Which I knew already... I am not sure what it means or what kind of impact it has on his life (our lives!). I have tried a lot of different techniques to teach him but just kept on hitting a wall and gave up on it for now.
She kind of busted my bubble and said I will be his main and probably only source of real help. That it was indeed very stressful and I should brace myself for the long haul. There is no quick or easy solutions. If there was, I would have found it already. She made me talked about a similar situation of constant stress, kind of to show me that I have it in me. She also asked what my biggest coping method was. My immediate answer was husband and the fact that we are very united in our battles (including dealing with V). I guess she called a relationship mechanism (or similar term..). She thought it was a healthy way of coping.
She mentioned that she could also help me build on my skills in order to not be overly affected by V's behavior. I'm all for it but I also reminded her that V also needs to learn in the process. We can't keep on accomodating him without teaching HIM the necessary skils he is lacking.
That lead to a lenghthy discussion on V's triggers, what we should tackle first and how to be realistic in what can be expected from him. There are going to be different expectations for V compare to his siblings (which I explained was already the case and gave some examples). But we needs to make V understand that those expectations are different for now but not forever.
She wants me to start doing some reflectology (?spellling?) with what V tries to tell me. She explained that I don't need to understand the meaning, but simply repeat his words in a nice and clear tone. This technique is for the long run and I should not expect any results in the short term. It will help V's communications skills and help me understand is world better. She said I could try to find an interpretion of what he tries to communicate but to always let him know that he can say "no, that's not what i meant".
I did agknowledge not knowing what V tries to tell me 75% of the time. Unlike Partner who I always understand. She smiles and said that Partner was a very linear kid, kind of a little adult. V, on the other hand, is very abstract, more than most kids. I'm not quite sure what she means by that... any insight?
We have an other appointment in 2 weeks. Which I'm glad we don't have to wait 1 month (like originally agreed). She will also see V at school next week.
Basically, she will be working with V weekly. It does reassure me that she is up for the challenge.
And last, she could not give me any advice on wether to pull V out of school or not. V benefits from the social interaction that school offers but is much worst at home. on the other hand, she knows we are an active household and that keeping him home would provide enough stimulation for him, but I would not have any breaks. Kind of a catch 22.
Please, wise people of the board, share your insight!