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General Parenting
todays update on difficult child/phosph/placement
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<blockquote data-quote="witzend" data-source="post: 188860" data-attributes="member: 99"><p>Two thoughts on this. First, it's not that he can never come back. One day he may be welcome to have dinner in your home, and you may have a healthy relationship with him as an adult child. He just can't come back now as a dependent. And given his age, it seems reasonable that he is going to be living independent of you a few months before he is 18. That also means that he gets to make more decisions and live with the consequences.</p><p></p><p>I would not mince words with these people. It's not M that needs to hear that he's not coming home. It's them. You need to look them straight in the eye and say "I am not participating in family involvement because M isn't coming home. I don't know where he is going, but he's not coming home." They may force your hand about pressing charges, but until they know that you will not be swayed, they will not look for any placement other than your home. At the very least, you should file a police report. They will decide whether to press charges, if you are on the fence. But you need documentation of this. </p><p></p><p>My personal opinion is that you should press charges and get a restraining order. This will be a clear statement of where M is <em>not</em> going from there.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="witzend, post: 188860, member: 99"] Two thoughts on this. First, it's not that he can never come back. One day he may be welcome to have dinner in your home, and you may have a healthy relationship with him as an adult child. He just can't come back now as a dependent. And given his age, it seems reasonable that he is going to be living independent of you a few months before he is 18. That also means that he gets to make more decisions and live with the consequences. I would not mince words with these people. It's not M that needs to hear that he's not coming home. It's them. You need to look them straight in the eye and say "I am not participating in family involvement because M isn't coming home. I don't know where he is going, but he's not coming home." They may force your hand about pressing charges, but until they know that you will not be swayed, they will not look for any placement other than your home. At the very least, you should file a police report. They will decide whether to press charges, if you are on the fence. But you need documentation of this. My personal opinion is that you should press charges and get a restraining order. This will be a clear statement of where M is [i]not[/i] going from there. [/QUOTE]
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todays update on difficult child/phosph/placement
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