I started a new post just cuz the other one was getting so long I figured no one wanted to plow through all those posts to get to my update. Thank you all SO much for all of the support.............I have NO idea what I would do without you all. You are all correct that I can never again have difficult child here. Which breaks every piece of my heart. Rips me to shreds. But I know what needs to be done. I do not think pressing charges will be needed if I tell phosph he cannot come back home. I don't think. For now, I have to work on finding the right type of residential placement for him, since apparently the phosph does little of that. Yea for their stellar helpfulness.........not. I got in a big argument with the social worker today because she told me I had to see matt every morning and participate in all the parent meetings every day or he could not stay at the phosph. I tried to explain how unhealthy this was for me and him right now - and I needed space - but she said those were the rules for "family involvement" and that I needed to learn how to have a healthy relationship with him. I almost hit her. I HATE hospital!!!!! They make me mad!!!!! (But that is my personal little hang up.) I told her I could teach their stupid parent classes, (which I could). They are remedial and stupid. I am sure that won me brownie points. So apparently tomorrow I am going to have to go meet with Matt and steel myself against his crazymaking. I told him on the phone tonight that I will leave if he even mentions one whiney complaint about "when he is coming home?", or "is he going to Residential Treatment Center (RTC)?". The ding dong social worker said she would help with that, but they won't. I know this drill. You know, I don't mean to sound pompous, but seriously most of these counselors and social workers strike me as less informed and on the ball about these kids than myself. Maybe they are just not used to kids like ours. I don't know. Anyway. Work is actually going really well, for 3 days, which is a blessing. My friend and I are going to hang out Friday night and she is gonna help me research placement for Matt, and I am gonna help her make brownies for the soldiers that are deploying for Afghanstan. Her husband is one of them. If I can only get through telling Matt he can't home, I might be on the home stretch. And thanks for asking about my physical well being. He hit me so hard I think I have whip lash because I fell when he hit me. My entire back hurts, but I think I will be OK. God I hope I can find the right placement for him. Really these hospital are so useless when it comes to coming up with a plan for our kids. They just want to stabilize him, and then leave the rest to the parent. Grand.