Big Bad Kitty
lolcat
Too much power. Tink has way too much power and control. I think I took "pick your battles" too literally. Now we don't do anything unless approved by her because it's better than listening to her throw a fit. Example: let's have chicken for dinner. "nooo I hate chicken" So fine, we don't have chicken. Time to take a shower. "nooo I hate showers" (this is a new one). Fine, be stinky. Lets buy these holiday decorations. "nooo I want THESE instead". Fine, not hurting me, we get these instead.
What I rationalize as picking my battles (or natural consequences, in the case of not showering) has now become Tink runs the house. How do you undo that? Where do you draw the line?
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Too much time. Is there a such thing as spending too much time with your kid? OK, I'm all about leaving the dishes because my kid is more important. But Tink is the poster child for "whatever you do once for a child, be prepared to do it the rest of your life". Special time with her is no longer special, it is mandatory. Which goes back to picking my battles. Am I going to spend time alone and not enjoy it because she will be whining about how I "never spend time with her" and my alone time will be ruined anyways? Or do I just give in and say fine, screw my alone time, yes I will spend time with you. She wants my attention every waking moment of every day, and she has become even more clingy since her dad got himself locked up. I know she may have seperation anxiety, and I want her to be sure that I will never abandon her, but I can't even pee without her standing there.
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Too much freedom. I thought I was soing her a service by pushing her towards independence. Copper grew up very sheltered and naive. Tink is now SO beyond her years. If you missed it, I caught her yesterday looking at porn. Not just "oops I stumbled across it" but actually searching for it. Some very disturbing things. Little girls should not see what she saw. What's worse, she dragged another kid into it. So now THAT makes me question ever letting her out of my sight. So much for my alone time. Get a sitter? Seriously? She'd be wrapped around my leg as I tried to walk out the door. I do what I can to avoid meltdowns. Is that harmful in the process? As good as I am at detaching ( I mastered the art of it with Copper) is as bad as I am with follow through. When I can take the easy way out with Tink, I do it.
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Who here has the instruction manual for a kid like this? Have you been holding out on me?
What I rationalize as picking my battles (or natural consequences, in the case of not showering) has now become Tink runs the house. How do you undo that? Where do you draw the line?
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Too much time. Is there a such thing as spending too much time with your kid? OK, I'm all about leaving the dishes because my kid is more important. But Tink is the poster child for "whatever you do once for a child, be prepared to do it the rest of your life". Special time with her is no longer special, it is mandatory. Which goes back to picking my battles. Am I going to spend time alone and not enjoy it because she will be whining about how I "never spend time with her" and my alone time will be ruined anyways? Or do I just give in and say fine, screw my alone time, yes I will spend time with you. She wants my attention every waking moment of every day, and she has become even more clingy since her dad got himself locked up. I know she may have seperation anxiety, and I want her to be sure that I will never abandon her, but I can't even pee without her standing there.
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Too much freedom. I thought I was soing her a service by pushing her towards independence. Copper grew up very sheltered and naive. Tink is now SO beyond her years. If you missed it, I caught her yesterday looking at porn. Not just "oops I stumbled across it" but actually searching for it. Some very disturbing things. Little girls should not see what she saw. What's worse, she dragged another kid into it. So now THAT makes me question ever letting her out of my sight. So much for my alone time. Get a sitter? Seriously? She'd be wrapped around my leg as I tried to walk out the door. I do what I can to avoid meltdowns. Is that harmful in the process? As good as I am at detaching ( I mastered the art of it with Copper) is as bad as I am with follow through. When I can take the easy way out with Tink, I do it.
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Who here has the instruction manual for a kid like this? Have you been holding out on me?