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<blockquote data-quote="Scent of Cedar *" data-source="post: 653862" data-attributes="member: 17461"><p>Oh, wow, Seeking. Sometimes, one of us will post about something and all at once, we see another aspect of what has been happening in our relationship with our own difficult child child.</p><p></p><p>When difficult child son brings these kinds of accusations up, I go into a little PTSD because it was so hard for me to let that happen <em>at D H's insistence.</em> But like you Seeking, now I see how right D H was to take the stands he did.</p><p></p><p>I think I might even mean now, right this minute.</p><p></p><p>Thank you.</p><p></p><p>:O)</p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p>We were just posting about triangulation where difficult child children are concerned on another thread. It is so strange that, no matter how much I think I understand what has happened to my family, I sometimes see a new aspect with such clarity from the posts here on the site.</p><p></p><p>Thank you, again.</p><p></p><p>I still get such a surprise out of where we have all been together, in our family. </p><p></p><p>What an amazing thing that D H and I are still together. I held so much against him in my secret heart for all those years.</p><p></p><p>Maybe that is what is being released, this morning. A conscious acknowledgment of that, I mean.</p><p></p><p>I will never tell D H this secret.</p><p></p><p>Something tells me he already knows, right? Why else would he have kept grabbing me out of the fire and moving us far away, as far away as it took <em>whether I said so or not</em>.</p><p></p><p>Oh for heaven's sake. Maybe my D H is smarter than me.</p><p></p><p>Noooooooo...!</p><p></p><p>(If anyone here watches Southpark, the sound effects that go with that no would be Cartman's.)</p><p></p><p>[MEDIA=youtube]gx4jn77VKlQ[/MEDIA]</p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p>This is such a healthy way of seeing the dynamic of the relationship. I never could believe anything that went wrong was not something I was responsible for because I was the mom. Thinking like that made me very weak and vulnerable to the child's interpretation of the moment.</p><p></p><p>Here is the thing. This is true in every aspect of our lives. For my sister, for my mom, for the kids when they are using.</p><p></p><p>Excellent post, Seeking.</p><p></p><p>Very meaningful to me.</p><p></p><p>Thank you.</p><p></p><p>Cedar</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Scent of Cedar *, post: 653862, member: 17461"] Oh, wow, Seeking. Sometimes, one of us will post about something and all at once, we see another aspect of what has been happening in our relationship with our own difficult child child. When difficult child son brings these kinds of accusations up, I go into a little PTSD because it was so hard for me to let that happen [I]at D H's insistence.[/I] But like you Seeking, now I see how right D H was to take the stands he did. I think I might even mean now, right this minute. Thank you. :O) We were just posting about triangulation where difficult child children are concerned on another thread. It is so strange that, no matter how much I think I understand what has happened to my family, I sometimes see a new aspect with such clarity from the posts here on the site. Thank you, again. I still get such a surprise out of where we have all been together, in our family. What an amazing thing that D H and I are still together. I held so much against him in my secret heart for all those years. Maybe that is what is being released, this morning. A conscious acknowledgment of that, I mean. I will never tell D H this secret. Something tells me he already knows, right? Why else would he have kept grabbing me out of the fire and moving us far away, as far away as it took [I]whether I said so or not[/I]. Oh for heaven's sake. Maybe my D H is smarter than me. Noooooooo...! (If anyone here watches Southpark, the sound effects that go with that no would be Cartman's.) [MEDIA=youtube]gx4jn77VKlQ[/MEDIA] This is such a healthy way of seeing the dynamic of the relationship. I never could believe anything that went wrong was not something I was responsible for because I was the mom. Thinking like that made me very weak and vulnerable to the child's interpretation of the moment. Here is the thing. This is true in every aspect of our lives. For my sister, for my mom, for the kids when they are using. Excellent post, Seeking. Very meaningful to me. Thank you. Cedar [/QUOTE]
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