Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by mom23gsfg, Jan 10, 2008.

  1. mom23gsfg

    mom23gsfg New Member

    ive posted before on questions that ive asked my son's docs before that have only been dismissed lately.....

    we finally got him scheduled for nero testing at the end of this month(i was told by his other docs that it could take up to 4 months to get him in ...his reg doctor is a miracle worker got him right in)
    but my other qeustion is this:when you try to hug him or touch him he shies away from you ....and when you try to give him a compliment or try to do something nice for him he behaves like he thinks you are trying to hurt or harm him or trying to make fun of him.also he usually wants to play by himself,this has been an on going issue so i know its not just typical teen.

    when he was first diagnosed as adhd by his reg doctor she said that this was an issue with some children with adhd....ive also read that in the books she gave me.
    but now the doctor said it is not adhd it is ODD,mood this a symptom of either of these or something else?

    i know this is
  2. LittleDudesMom

    LittleDudesMom Well-Known Member Staff Member


    it's really hard to say. All kids are unique and different. Some of those things you talk about could just be his individual personality traits.

    Make sure you are making a list of questions for the doctor, and list some examples of the above. Hopefully you will get some answers.

  3. TerryJ2

    TerryJ2 Well-Known Member

    Gosh, I don't know. The testing may help with-that.

    I don't know if this is the same but it may be ... My son was weird about accepting compliments, too. Of course, he was younger, but at any rate, I said something like "Good job!" and he stomped off and slammed his door.

    I followed him and asked him what was going on, and luckily, he was able to verbalize it. He said I sounded like I was being sarcastic (I can be!) and was making fun of him. husband was standing there and he said, "No, mom was serious. I saw it too (don't recall what "it" was now) and you did a good job."

    "Well, it just makes me feel bad."

    I told him I was sorry if I ever said something sarcastic like, "Good job, feeding the dogs and leaving a trail of dog food across the floor all the way to China," and that I would pay more attention to my words and attitude, and that this time I was truly not sarcastic and I really meant he had done a good job.

    Very soon after, something happened again where I complimented him, and I could see him start to turn away. I immediately reminded him that I was being serious and I meant it, and I repeated it and had him nod, in a sort of role-play, and I touched his shoulders and asked him if he understood. He wasn't happy but accepted it, with-the caveat that I was saying it too loudly (apparently my emphasis was too dramatic and it alarmed him).

    After a few more times, he was fine, until I was sarcastic again ... in the car ... and I was quick to point out that I was kidding and I had hoped I hadn't hurt his feelings. He said, "I KNOW THAT, Mom! I can tell the difference now!"


    Anyway, sometimes you have to literally teach these kids intonations and sarcasm and enthusiasm and he's mixing them all up?
  4. SomewhereOutThere

    SomewhereOutThere Well-Known Member

    I don't know about the other stuff, but not wanting to be hugged or touched is typical of Autism Spectrum Disorders (ASD). I don't believe THAT has anything to do with bipolar.
    Are you seeing a neuropsychologist or Neurologist. Big difference! It took me almost a year to get my son in. There was THAT long a waiting list.
  5. nvts

    nvts Active Member

    Since I don't know much about bipolar or mood disorder, I was thinking along the Autism Spectrum Disorders (ASD) road as well. My boys both are Aspies and one will hug incessantly, but the other can shy away. My neighbors son has stuff from all over the spectrum and he HATES being hugged.

    Compliments may/or may not result in difficult child 1 getting all "persnickety".

    Make sure that you mention this to the doctor during the neuropsychologist. Also, try and watch him to see how his eye contact is with other people. Quite often this can give you some insight about spectrum possibilities!

    Let us know how the neuropsychologist goes!

  6. lynnp

    lynnp New Member

    My son doesn't necessarily like to be hugged at all. I have to kiss him on the shoulder when he leaves for school. He also hates compliments. I do it anyway because I always hope it sinks in but his response is ALWAYS "no" or "that's not true" or he turns it into something bad he "really" did. Drives me nuts! I think it's just his persnickity personality!