I had to ask my daughter to move out just over a month ago and holy cow has that been hard to process. She has been with me full time since '07 (her mother and I divorced when she was 3 yr old) and I was determined to give the very best I had and not to lose her to any kind of nonsense. And for the most part that is true. She was not a big partier in HS which I was very thankful for...did she drink??...yea I knew she had experimented. I kept her very busy with softball and she became a very good pitcher and had an extremely successful HS career so I think that had alot to do with her keeping out of trouble so to speak. She wanted to play college ball and enrolled in a Jr college not far from here and was commuting from home. Well, it turns out that about half way thru she all but quit going to class and nearly flunked out. Before I found that out though I started to suspect some serious lying issues that I had a hard time dealing with. I tried to stay out of her life as much as I could as to let her begin to find her independence and responsibility. She had a significant amount of money left over after grants and scholarships and I had decided to go ahead and let her keep most in a savings but with expectation for her to live off her work study $ and use savings when she needed to. Hopefully teaching her to save and handle money. Did I expect that she answer to me for every single penny? No. Anyway, long story short....she blew every penny and I began seeing mail from banks other than hers showing up at the house. (****...I look back and see so many mistakes I made) I opened one up and it was a loan decline for $2500. I didn't say anything but told her I need to see how much she has in the bank and of course I got the run around until she finally had to come clean. Never telling me where the money went other than she just blew it...then the grades came in and I nearly kicked her out at that point but chose for us to get counseling as more and more lies began to unfold. Counseling was going well...we went seperately....the counselor was very impressed with her. About 3 weeks later...new semester and "new start" I started to suspect things weren't as they seemed. We talked about the importance of staying on track and to learn from her mistakes...especially in the money dept. it wasn't long tho before I found out that she was digging herself even deeper into the hole. The final blow came when i gave her some money to buy me a coat when she was out shopping and she and her friends had essentially stolen jacket and she was going to give to me and pass off as though she paid for it. Now...its a bit more involved than that but essentially is what happened. The only reason i found out about this was because her car broke down and had no money to pay for the repairs. As i kept the questions coming she as any liar does couldn't keep her story straight and it all came apart for her. I knew then I had to draw the line in the sand. I gave her one condition to continue to live here and that was to show me her bank statements and to have her checks mailed home to prove the amounts and then decide from there on how to spend it/save it. She decided that she was not going to do that and I told her to go get some boxes and get moving. We met at McDonalds and talked a little bit that day and that was the last time I heard from her. We have some friends in common that have urged her to come see me and she has said she is going to. I have texted her and left a couple voicemails telling her that I love her and that I am still her father and hope to remain in her life with no response. Since she moved out she has gotten engaged and unengaged, began smoking, quit college and is renting a room at a friends house. She is working (which i am very glad about) though. I am moving back to where we came from as it has become very clear to me that I need to get on with my life. I put my life on complete hold for her....which was my choice not hers....and feel like I gave my very best. Did i make a bunch of mistakes...sure i did. Why am i the one feeling so **** guilty about this then? Thru counseling I have put alot of it into perspective but to be honest it pisses me off that she does not talk to me. I feel like she is resenting me and I don't deserve that. I know she's smart enough to see that but I still am hurt and worried. I don't want to leave without seeing her....which is in just over a month. I left her a message the other day just saying that I want to see her and that the longer she stays away the harder it will be for her to come back. i don't ever want her to feel like she has ruined our relationship to the point that she can "never come home again" but feel thats directions she heading. I look back and second guess...I regret this and that but the good things far out weigh the bad. Anyway....thats enough for now. heartbroke but moving forward here. thanks for taking the time to read.