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<blockquote data-quote="notafolksinger" data-source="post: 143344"><p>Thank you so much for the feedback. I have been touring facilities in neighboring states for the past few days and just now returned home. I saw a total of four facilities.</p><p> </p><p>The good news is I found placement for my son. It's the small program with 8 teens at a time with a possibility for 10. It's family-style living and has a psychiatrist who will also do an evaluation. It is a lot like a Therapeutic Foster Family. This place also does positive peer culture but not as its sole strategy. I was lied to by a competing facility about this place accepting murderers and rapists--some admissions staff work on commission, and some are more ethical than others.</p><p> </p><p>I saw one very scary residential treatment facility (the one that lied to me). That place was a circus and had no credentials for staff or counselors. It relies solely on positive peer culture, which looked a lot like loitering or a day at a circus to me. I bet over half their enrollment is sight unseen. It would have to be. They lied about enrollment being 30--I saw 60 kids.</p><p> </p><p>I've asked multiple times about diagnosis, and he does not meet criteria for any of them. We've had him evaulated for ADD or ADHD and Learning Disability (LD) several times since second grade. The answer is always no. Maybe an MD will have an alternative diagnosis.</p><p> </p><p>My son can't live at home. Either I place him, or the state puts him in juvenile detention for 12 months. Since he called in a bomb threat, the whole town wants his blood. The kids in the gym at school did not hear the announcement, and now it's local news.</p><p> </p><p>My son has been out of control lately and has been very mouthy and defiant with me in the past few months. Before that was reserved for peers at school and teachers. Now I see it at home.</p><p> </p><p>He makes good grades in English and history, B or C in science, and lower and sometimes failing grades in math. He likes video games and anime. He isn't successful in sports because he does not compete and quits everything. If he's unhappy in any group activity, he makes my life a living hell. He had a paper route--what a total nightmare that was. He's been asked to leave a social group lately because his behavior problems in the community lately. </p><p> </p><p>He's established an identity for himself as a pain in the ass. He gets negative reinforcement. He "knows" right from wrong but seems to think his approach to life isn't a problem. He's not sexually active or taking drugs.</p><p> </p><p>I don't know the answer. </p><p> </p><p>His dad and I are divorced, and he won't help me pay for treatment. He wants our son to serve a jail sentence. I've never known anyone to come out of juvie "better." His dad just doesn't want to pay, and he says that our son needs consequences. I think he needs treatment and also natural consequences he's already experiencing. Punshment and consequences only work in the short term with him and always have...</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="notafolksinger, post: 143344"] Thank you so much for the feedback. I have been touring facilities in neighboring states for the past few days and just now returned home. I saw a total of four facilities. The good news is I found placement for my son. It's the small program with 8 teens at a time with a possibility for 10. It's family-style living and has a psychiatrist who will also do an evaluation. It is a lot like a Therapeutic Foster Family. This place also does positive peer culture but not as its sole strategy. I was lied to by a competing facility about this place accepting murderers and rapists--some admissions staff work on commission, and some are more ethical than others. I saw one very scary residential treatment facility (the one that lied to me). That place was a circus and had no credentials for staff or counselors. It relies solely on positive peer culture, which looked a lot like loitering or a day at a circus to me. I bet over half their enrollment is sight unseen. It would have to be. They lied about enrollment being 30--I saw 60 kids. I've asked multiple times about diagnosis, and he does not meet criteria for any of them. We've had him evaulated for ADD or ADHD and Learning Disability (LD) several times since second grade. The answer is always no. Maybe an MD will have an alternative diagnosis. My son can't live at home. Either I place him, or the state puts him in juvenile detention for 12 months. Since he called in a bomb threat, the whole town wants his blood. The kids in the gym at school did not hear the announcement, and now it's local news. My son has been out of control lately and has been very mouthy and defiant with me in the past few months. Before that was reserved for peers at school and teachers. Now I see it at home. He makes good grades in English and history, B or C in science, and lower and sometimes failing grades in math. He likes video games and anime. He isn't successful in sports because he does not compete and quits everything. If he's unhappy in any group activity, he makes my life a living hell. He had a paper route--what a total nightmare that was. He's been asked to leave a social group lately because his behavior problems in the community lately. He's established an identity for himself as a pain in the ass. He gets negative reinforcement. He "knows" right from wrong but seems to think his approach to life isn't a problem. He's not sexually active or taking drugs. I don't know the answer. His dad and I are divorced, and he won't help me pay for treatment. He wants our son to serve a jail sentence. I've never known anyone to come out of juvie "better." His dad just doesn't want to pay, and he says that our son needs consequences. I think he needs treatment and also natural consequences he's already experiencing. Punshment and consequences only work in the short term with him and always have... [/QUOTE]
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