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General Parenting
Troubled teen and young adult
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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 583668" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>Hi there.</p><p>You may have more luck posting on either Substance Abuse or Parent Emeritus as this particular forum is mostly for people with younger children. I actually have had a daughter who abused drugs though. We thought it was only pot too, but it was a lot more than pot. Does your son steal from you at all or sell his things? These are signs of greater drug use than just pot. So are terrible rages and moodswings. They can be mistaken for a mood disorder. My daughter was diagnosed with bipolar, but she has been clean now for about ten years and clearly isn't bipolar. That was just due to the drugs making her wacky. </p><p>in my opinion if he uses drugs and makes no plans for his life and disregards your wishes, your husband is right to want him to leave when he graduates. in my opinion he will not stop the course of his life if he has a warm and fuzzy home to do drugs in, no real reason to work, and money from Dad. I would never give a kid who uses drugs lunch money. He can bring a lunch from home. I'm thinking husband is just biding time until he can pack his bags and I really can't blame him. You do have other kids who are watching what he does. </p><p></p><p>If he is eighteen and doesn't want to change, you can't change him. If he doesn't want help, you can't try to help him. It is very hard to watch, but there isn't a whole lot you can do except try to take good care of yourself and your other children and your husband and maybe go to an Al-Anon or Narc-Anon meeting to get moral support in real time, face-to-face. Let your son know that you are there for him if he wants help, but that you will not enable his self-destruction. Lots of talk about detachment goes on on the substance abuse and parent emeritus sites because after seventeen the kids are out of our legal control.</p><p></p><p>You may want to try another forum. Welcome to t he board. Sorry you had to come here though.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 583668, member: 1550"] Hi there. You may have more luck posting on either Substance Abuse or Parent Emeritus as this particular forum is mostly for people with younger children. I actually have had a daughter who abused drugs though. We thought it was only pot too, but it was a lot more than pot. Does your son steal from you at all or sell his things? These are signs of greater drug use than just pot. So are terrible rages and moodswings. They can be mistaken for a mood disorder. My daughter was diagnosed with bipolar, but she has been clean now for about ten years and clearly isn't bipolar. That was just due to the drugs making her wacky. in my opinion if he uses drugs and makes no plans for his life and disregards your wishes, your husband is right to want him to leave when he graduates. in my opinion he will not stop the course of his life if he has a warm and fuzzy home to do drugs in, no real reason to work, and money from Dad. I would never give a kid who uses drugs lunch money. He can bring a lunch from home. I'm thinking husband is just biding time until he can pack his bags and I really can't blame him. You do have other kids who are watching what he does. If he is eighteen and doesn't want to change, you can't change him. If he doesn't want help, you can't try to help him. It is very hard to watch, but there isn't a whole lot you can do except try to take good care of yourself and your other children and your husband and maybe go to an Al-Anon or Narc-Anon meeting to get moral support in real time, face-to-face. Let your son know that you are there for him if he wants help, but that you will not enable his self-destruction. Lots of talk about detachment goes on on the substance abuse and parent emeritus sites because after seventeen the kids are out of our legal control. You may want to try another forum. Welcome to t he board. Sorry you had to come here though. [/QUOTE]
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