I am so sorry. this is a rough road for parents, as well as their kids.
Cutting is not considered a psychiatric emergency by most psychiatrists, phosps, or even regular hospitals. The cutter is not trying to kill himself, but to handle stress. Has your son had therapy for the sexual abuse? Even though he was much younger he really needs to be in regular therapy for this.
Cutting IS addictive. It releases endorphins and can be extremely hard to stop. Both my son (Wiz) and my mother have been cutters. They actually stopped TOGETHER - and my son has kept my mom from cutting by telling her that if she cuts he can too.
I think your sons medications need to be looked at. People with bipolar need to be on mood stabilizers - before anything else. The recommendation for medications is 1 or even 2 mood stabilizers and then to address any other problems like ADHD, etc.... MWM is right that the medications for ADHD, depression (lexapro, ANY antidepressant) and even cold/allergy medications can send someone who is bipolar into cyclling. Some adults here who have bipolar have said they were astonished how many of the problems like ADHD, etc have disappeared once their moods were stabilized. There is actually a form of bipolar that is CAUSED by SSRI medications.
Is it possibel to let school problems stay at school and to have home problems dealt with at home? Some of us had to quit riding our kids for htings they did at school, or even about homework and let school hand out whatever consequences they felt were needed for whatever happened at school. We had to not turn our homes in to battlegrounds where we fought over assignments, sleeping in class, tardies, etc.... Not because we didn't care, but because it just was too much.
I am glad the school SW is trying to help. Have you considered other schooling options? Many districts now have other placements, or offer online classes, as do some states. Homeschooling can also be a good option. School was such a problem for my daughter because health problems that we pulled her out in the 2nd quarter of 6th grade and homeschooled her. She just went back to school this year for 8th grade. I know high school is different, but if there are other alternatives he may need one of them.
With bipolar he may just not bea ABLE to handle social situations. Or he might have th incorrect diagnosis. These disorders are NOT easy to diagnosis, not by any means. And the wrong diagnosis often leads to the wrong treatment. So it may be worthwhile to have a new evaluation done to see if you are treating the right disorder/disease.
Does he have any sensory problems? Most OTs only get kids in their practices, but sensory integration disorder and other sensory problems are part of life for many of us. It would be worth reading the book The Out of Sync Child or doing some internet research to see if it is something you should try to get help for.
does your son have any learning disabilities? If he does, school may be impossible for him - though not by his choice. My oldest has dysgraphia and dyscalculia - disorders in writing and math that are similar to dyslexia. It took a lot of work to get soemone to test for them, but the help we got made a LOT of things much easier for him (and us).
I do think that the abuse when he was 7 may be at the root of much of this. It is a very difficult thing for adults to handle, and even harder for children to handle.
Anyway, glad you came out of lurk - but sorry you needed to!