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Trying to keep 1st gr. son from alt. school (for 2nd time) - a mother's vent for help
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<blockquote data-quote="susiestar" data-source="post: 387387" data-attributes="member: 1233"><p>While I haven't read all of Marg's response, I totally agree that you are likely seeing Asperger's or some other very high functioning autistic spectrum disorder. Just because you have been trained in/had students with various disorders does NOT mean that your son will look like what you have seen in those students. in my opinion children act VERY different at school than at home. The presence of other children is enough by itself to make problems appear different at school. Is he an only child? </p><p> </p><p>Can you do a signature similar to the ones at the bottom of our posts? It helps us keep everyone's info organized in our minds. If you go to the top of the page on the right hand side you can go into the settings to do a profile. PLEASE do NOT put pictures of your family (pets pics are okay) as your avatar, or use full names/identifying info in the sig. Many of us use nicknames for our kids to preserve their privacy. We discuss all sorts of sensitive topics and you never know who might do a search to see if you are posting things they don't like. Esp as you teach at the school your son attends, this is important. Many employers now use google and facebook to find out what their employees are doing online. Sometimes family or friends do the same and it can create a LOT of problems. This is a safe place to vent, brainstorm, get help and support, etc... and often we say things here that we don't want to have known by our family/friends/coworkers/bosses. Esp if you end up in fights about your son's rights.</p><p> </p><p>One thing to remember is that even though you are a teacher, you still NEED to follow the rules like sending requests for testing/IEP/services via certified mail. Often schools work hard to not provide services and teachers are not always told that requests will be delayed, "lost", ignored, etc... because accommodations and testing cost $$ and everyone is broke. If you send your requests via certified mail, return receipt requested, you have PROOF of the request and it puts protections in place for your child - protections under FEDERAL LAW. Just because you work for the school does NOT mean they won't try to give you the runaround. I personally know of one school employee who was told by her school district superintedent that because she was an employee her child did NOT have the right to an evaluation with-in the mandated time frame, or even a right to accommodations for his disabilities. It was a friend of my fathers, a fellow teacher, and it took a LOT of work to keep her job and get the help her son needed. </p><p> </p><p>I am NOT saying your school is guaranteed to do something like that to you. I AM saying that you MUST be aware of your rights and your son's rights so that you can make sure that they provide FAPE in the LRE. We have a Sp Ed section of this board that has all sorts of awesome help. Pay special attention to their archives.</p><p> </p><p>Now that I have said all that, on to some other ideas. There is a link in my signature to a thread with an outline for a Parent Report. Wise Warrior Moms here made an outline so that you can create a report that has ALL the info about your child in ONE place in a manner that you can copy and share pertinent sections with people who work with/evaluate your child. It is a very powerful thing as helps you communicate with these "experts" in a clear and effective manner. I found that EVERY doctor/therapist/"expert" that we saw got a LOT of my son's history wrong. A couple of them INSISTED that he was adopted (he was NOT - I remember that period of time VERY vividly, lol!), and many other things were wrong. One listed my brother as his father - EEEEUUUUWWWWW!!!! </p><p> </p><p>I am not sure if this is in the outline, but I used some of those very small photos that come in picture packages to keep a current photo of my son at the beginning of EVERY SECTION of the report. On some very long sections I also put his photo in the middle. I started it first because I was annoyed with the docs because a couple of them started appointments with us while having another child's chart that they were referring to. Really infuriated me for a LOT of reasons. Shortly after that one of my docs took a photo to keep with my chart. He said it really cut down on mistakes made by looking at the wrong chart, because it was more accurate to match photos and names to patients than to just match names. It seemed like a good idea to me! (I do admit to b eing a tad bit paranoid about that because we have NO clue as to when I had which shots as a child. The doctor's office person dropped a stack of charts and everything fell out and not every page had a patients name on it. Mom and the doctor are sure that we all had what we needed, but.... )</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>I do have one thought on your son making noises to upset the teacher. It truly is not a problem that you will be able to fix for her. The teacher needs to figure out what he wants when he makes those noises and then not give it to him. If he wants to go out into the hall, she should keep him in. If he wants attention from her she should ignore it. Of course it is HARD to do that in a classroom, but the teacher is going to have to work to figure out when and how to reward him for NOT doing that, and to not give him what he wants when he is making the noises. It reminds me of a show aobut a dog trainer that I just watched. There is a thread on the Watercooler about the show, and it might give you some ideas. I am NOT meaning ANY insult or implying that your child is a dog or should be treated as though he is a dog. The show just showed a different way to approach an undesireable behavior, with this dog it was barking all the time. NO offense meant on ANY level, I promise.</p><p> </p><p>A book that might be a big help to you and his teacher is Dr. Riley's latest book, "What Your Explosive Child is Trying To Tell You" :<a href="http://www.amazon.com/What-Your-Explosive-Child-Trying/dp/0618700811/ref=sr_1_2?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1288568776&sr=1-2" target="_blank">http://www.amazon.com/What-Your-Explosive-Child-Trying/dp/0618700811/ref=sr_1_2?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1288568776&sr=1-2</a></p><p> </p><p>For info on Dr. Riley's book there are some threads where he discussed it with us. You can search on his name to find his posts here.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="susiestar, post: 387387, member: 1233"] While I haven't read all of Marg's response, I totally agree that you are likely seeing Asperger's or some other very high functioning autistic spectrum disorder. Just because you have been trained in/had students with various disorders does NOT mean that your son will look like what you have seen in those students. in my opinion children act VERY different at school than at home. The presence of other children is enough by itself to make problems appear different at school. Is he an only child? Can you do a signature similar to the ones at the bottom of our posts? It helps us keep everyone's info organized in our minds. If you go to the top of the page on the right hand side you can go into the settings to do a profile. PLEASE do NOT put pictures of your family (pets pics are okay) as your avatar, or use full names/identifying info in the sig. Many of us use nicknames for our kids to preserve their privacy. We discuss all sorts of sensitive topics and you never know who might do a search to see if you are posting things they don't like. Esp as you teach at the school your son attends, this is important. Many employers now use google and facebook to find out what their employees are doing online. Sometimes family or friends do the same and it can create a LOT of problems. This is a safe place to vent, brainstorm, get help and support, etc... and often we say things here that we don't want to have known by our family/friends/coworkers/bosses. Esp if you end up in fights about your son's rights. One thing to remember is that even though you are a teacher, you still NEED to follow the rules like sending requests for testing/IEP/services via certified mail. Often schools work hard to not provide services and teachers are not always told that requests will be delayed, "lost", ignored, etc... because accommodations and testing cost $$ and everyone is broke. If you send your requests via certified mail, return receipt requested, you have PROOF of the request and it puts protections in place for your child - protections under FEDERAL LAW. Just because you work for the school does NOT mean they won't try to give you the runaround. I personally know of one school employee who was told by her school district superintedent that because she was an employee her child did NOT have the right to an evaluation with-in the mandated time frame, or even a right to accommodations for his disabilities. It was a friend of my fathers, a fellow teacher, and it took a LOT of work to keep her job and get the help her son needed. I am NOT saying your school is guaranteed to do something like that to you. I AM saying that you MUST be aware of your rights and your son's rights so that you can make sure that they provide FAPE in the LRE. We have a Sp Ed section of this board that has all sorts of awesome help. Pay special attention to their archives. Now that I have said all that, on to some other ideas. There is a link in my signature to a thread with an outline for a Parent Report. Wise Warrior Moms here made an outline so that you can create a report that has ALL the info about your child in ONE place in a manner that you can copy and share pertinent sections with people who work with/evaluate your child. It is a very powerful thing as helps you communicate with these "experts" in a clear and effective manner. I found that EVERY doctor/therapist/"expert" that we saw got a LOT of my son's history wrong. A couple of them INSISTED that he was adopted (he was NOT - I remember that period of time VERY vividly, lol!), and many other things were wrong. One listed my brother as his father - EEEEUUUUWWWWW!!!! I am not sure if this is in the outline, but I used some of those very small photos that come in picture packages to keep a current photo of my son at the beginning of EVERY SECTION of the report. On some very long sections I also put his photo in the middle. I started it first because I was annoyed with the docs because a couple of them started appointments with us while having another child's chart that they were referring to. Really infuriated me for a LOT of reasons. Shortly after that one of my docs took a photo to keep with my chart. He said it really cut down on mistakes made by looking at the wrong chart, because it was more accurate to match photos and names to patients than to just match names. It seemed like a good idea to me! (I do admit to b eing a tad bit paranoid about that because we have NO clue as to when I had which shots as a child. The doctor's office person dropped a stack of charts and everything fell out and not every page had a patients name on it. Mom and the doctor are sure that we all had what we needed, but.... ) I do have one thought on your son making noises to upset the teacher. It truly is not a problem that you will be able to fix for her. The teacher needs to figure out what he wants when he makes those noises and then not give it to him. If he wants to go out into the hall, she should keep him in. If he wants attention from her she should ignore it. Of course it is HARD to do that in a classroom, but the teacher is going to have to work to figure out when and how to reward him for NOT doing that, and to not give him what he wants when he is making the noises. It reminds me of a show aobut a dog trainer that I just watched. There is a thread on the Watercooler about the show, and it might give you some ideas. I am NOT meaning ANY insult or implying that your child is a dog or should be treated as though he is a dog. The show just showed a different way to approach an undesireable behavior, with this dog it was barking all the time. NO offense meant on ANY level, I promise. A book that might be a big help to you and his teacher is Dr. Riley's latest book, "What Your Explosive Child is Trying To Tell You" :[url]http://www.amazon.com/What-Your-Explosive-Child-Trying/dp/0618700811/ref=sr_1_2?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1288568776&sr=1-2[/url] For info on Dr. Riley's book there are some threads where he discussed it with us. You can search on his name to find his posts here. [/QUOTE]
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