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Substance Abuse
Trying to make a plaln for difficult child is proving to be more than difficult
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<blockquote data-quote="rejectedmom" data-source="post: 579739" data-attributes="member: 2315"><p>difficult child is incarcerated in another state but I believe he has to return to mine for another minor offence when he is done there. There isn't a program like you mention here. I know that because we have had him in prison here in the past. difficult child's low intelligence and learning disabilities makes it very difficult for him to get anything set up on his own. Plus he has no access to a telephone while in prison to do that and has to rely on the social worker there who is a staff of one and expects difficult child to do it all with little direction or resources been there done that. </p><p></p><p>I have always helped difficult child get into a program or hooked him up with a case manager who did the work for me (with the exception of the last two times). Navigating the system is not something difficult child can do on his own. So when left to his own without supports, he had no services in place, not even health insurance. That is why I help . When I am gone he will have no one that really cares about him and is also willing to help him. His siblings are too traumatized by his past to step in and take over. And like everyone here I want my difficult child to be settled. </p><p></p><p>When difficult child gets out of prison he is physically sober. I think what happens in those first couple of weeks are vital to his success on the outside. We have already tried not intervening. It was a disaster and someone got hurt. I believe we need to try a different approach.</p><p></p><p>difficult child is only a threat if using. He actually has a genuine desire to do well. He is however easily overwhelmed and the programs we have tried are never a good fit for his many problems. The ones that give him all the services he needs as an vunerable adult, tend to be filled with severly disabled clients most of whom have low intelligence and/ or physical disabilities far greater than difficult child's. He never feels like he belongs there and that has proven to be a problem because he ends up skipping workshops and hanging with street punks and various low lifes and he is sucked right back into alcolol, self loathing and defeat. It is a moot point anyway since the programs that worked with him in the past said they wouldn't take him back in until he proves he is stable..</p><p></p><p>Add in his criminal record and the difficulty in finding employment and failure is almost guaranteed. For these reasons and many more, I now think it is probably unrealistic to expect him to find his own way. He is 25, he has tried, and he has failed repeatedly.</p><p></p><p>I can see how this might look like I want to fix him. But I<u><em><strong> know </strong></em></u>I can't do that. What I want to do is give him better coping tools and strategies so he doesn't hurt himself or others in the future. Tools that are soft in nature and can't be used in ways that are not to his advantage. Hence the idea of yoga (not weightlifting or karate) and Meditation. Physical outlets for stress coupled with learned reflection. I am not going to force it on him just offering it up as another avenue to explore. </p><p></p><p>I got a letter from him today he says he wants to go to a Residential treatment facility and then to sober living facility and he wants to stay on his medications. He says that they seem to be working this time and he is feeling pretty good. (prozac and Lamicil I think.) -RM</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="rejectedmom, post: 579739, member: 2315"] difficult child is incarcerated in another state but I believe he has to return to mine for another minor offence when he is done there. There isn't a program like you mention here. I know that because we have had him in prison here in the past. difficult child's low intelligence and learning disabilities makes it very difficult for him to get anything set up on his own. Plus he has no access to a telephone while in prison to do that and has to rely on the social worker there who is a staff of one and expects difficult child to do it all with little direction or resources been there done that. I have always helped difficult child get into a program or hooked him up with a case manager who did the work for me (with the exception of the last two times). Navigating the system is not something difficult child can do on his own. So when left to his own without supports, he had no services in place, not even health insurance. That is why I help . When I am gone he will have no one that really cares about him and is also willing to help him. His siblings are too traumatized by his past to step in and take over. And like everyone here I want my difficult child to be settled. When difficult child gets out of prison he is physically sober. I think what happens in those first couple of weeks are vital to his success on the outside. We have already tried not intervening. It was a disaster and someone got hurt. I believe we need to try a different approach. difficult child is only a threat if using. He actually has a genuine desire to do well. He is however easily overwhelmed and the programs we have tried are never a good fit for his many problems. The ones that give him all the services he needs as an vunerable adult, tend to be filled with severly disabled clients most of whom have low intelligence and/ or physical disabilities far greater than difficult child's. He never feels like he belongs there and that has proven to be a problem because he ends up skipping workshops and hanging with street punks and various low lifes and he is sucked right back into alcolol, self loathing and defeat. It is a moot point anyway since the programs that worked with him in the past said they wouldn't take him back in until he proves he is stable.. Add in his criminal record and the difficulty in finding employment and failure is almost guaranteed. For these reasons and many more, I now think it is probably unrealistic to expect him to find his own way. He is 25, he has tried, and he has failed repeatedly. I can see how this might look like I want to fix him. But I[U][I][B] know [/B][/I][/U]I can't do that. What I want to do is give him better coping tools and strategies so he doesn't hurt himself or others in the future. Tools that are soft in nature and can't be used in ways that are not to his advantage. Hence the idea of yoga (not weightlifting or karate) and Meditation. Physical outlets for stress coupled with learned reflection. I am not going to force it on him just offering it up as another avenue to explore. I got a letter from him today he says he wants to go to a Residential treatment facility and then to sober living facility and he wants to stay on his medications. He says that they seem to be working this time and he is feeling pretty good. (prozac and Lamicil I think.) -RM [/QUOTE]
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Trying to make a plaln for difficult child is proving to be more than difficult
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