Forums
New posts
Search forums
What's new
New posts
New profile posts
Latest activity
Internet Search
Members
Current visitors
New profile posts
Search profile posts
Log in
Register
What's new
Search
Search
Search titles only
By:
New posts
Search forums
Menu
Log in
Register
Install the app
Install
Forums
Parent Support Forums
General Parenting
Trying to save my homeless daughters life
JavaScript is disabled. For a better experience, please enable JavaScript in your browser before proceeding.
You are using an out of date browser. It may not display this or other websites correctly.
You should upgrade or use an
alternative browser
.
Reply to thread
Message
<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 611172" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>First of all, this isn't your fault, it is her bad choice. She is an adult who is probably using drugs, drinking, and trying to make YOU feel guilty because she doesn't have a job or a normal life. Bet she wants you to fund her too. DON'T BUY INTO IT. I agree that Parent Emeritus is a better place for you to post because once kids are of legal age it's a whole different story from when kids are underage. And she is well over legal age. I wouldn't allow her in my house when she is clearly not interested in following your rules, getting a job or not drinking/using drugs. Not to mention at her age she should be forced to work and pay rent. And the boyfriend? Why is this much older stranger, who is probably a criminal, living in your house? </p><p></p><p>I'd probably keep the dogs. I'm an animal lover. I feel sorry for them. But I wouldn't let the other two come to the house. You deserve a peaceful life without the drama of a wayward adult stepchild. You should focus on yourself and your thirteen year old son who needs a good example, not this. And you need to worry about your own health and well being too. You raised this child and now she is making her own decisions. You don't owe it to her to continue parenting her as if she is ten years old and this boyfriend is a middle aged man and not a very responsible one. </p><p></p><p>You can not help your stepdaughter. There is only one person in the world who can change her/help her and that is herself. She is clearly not ready to get her act together yet so you have to look out for yourself and your son. Yes, tough love will alienate her. Why? Well, she wants to do whatever she wants to do and have you pay for it too or else she will use emoktional blackmail and refuse to speak to you. We've all gone through this. She knows you will let her and her bum boyfriend do nothing all day but drink and drugs if she threatens not to like you. Well, you will have to decide if it is worth it to have her approval. It comes at a high price, including your mental and physical health...maybe even your life. Been there. Soon, if she keeps this up, she will rightfully turn grandma and dad and the rest of the family and her "friends" away from her too. This is not acceptable in anyone her age and people get tired of it. They prefer the alienation eventually...and I'm predicting so will you. Of course, there ARE some parents who are 80 still enabling their 55 year old alcoholic/drug addict "children" having wasted all their later years that should have been for THEM to live out their dreams and to take it easy. Do you want to be that parent?</p><p></p><p>You can get help while she is going through her hissy fit if she gets angry at you and you feel alienated from her. If need be, go to an Al-Anon or Nar-Anon meeting so you can get real time parent feedback. They won't force you to speak. Or go to NAMI for help. See a therapist who will be on YOUR side. Read Codapendent No More by Melodie Beattie....great book! <img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite1" alt=":)" title="Smile :)" loading="lazy" data-shortname=":)" /></p><p></p><p>Hope to see you on Parent Emeritus <img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite1" alt=":)" title="Smile :)" loading="lazy" data-shortname=":)" /> Welcome to the board, but sorry that you had to come.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 611172, member: 1550"] First of all, this isn't your fault, it is her bad choice. She is an adult who is probably using drugs, drinking, and trying to make YOU feel guilty because she doesn't have a job or a normal life. Bet she wants you to fund her too. DON'T BUY INTO IT. I agree that Parent Emeritus is a better place for you to post because once kids are of legal age it's a whole different story from when kids are underage. And she is well over legal age. I wouldn't allow her in my house when she is clearly not interested in following your rules, getting a job or not drinking/using drugs. Not to mention at her age she should be forced to work and pay rent. And the boyfriend? Why is this much older stranger, who is probably a criminal, living in your house? I'd probably keep the dogs. I'm an animal lover. I feel sorry for them. But I wouldn't let the other two come to the house. You deserve a peaceful life without the drama of a wayward adult stepchild. You should focus on yourself and your thirteen year old son who needs a good example, not this. And you need to worry about your own health and well being too. You raised this child and now she is making her own decisions. You don't owe it to her to continue parenting her as if she is ten years old and this boyfriend is a middle aged man and not a very responsible one. You can not help your stepdaughter. There is only one person in the world who can change her/help her and that is herself. She is clearly not ready to get her act together yet so you have to look out for yourself and your son. Yes, tough love will alienate her. Why? Well, she wants to do whatever she wants to do and have you pay for it too or else she will use emoktional blackmail and refuse to speak to you. We've all gone through this. She knows you will let her and her bum boyfriend do nothing all day but drink and drugs if she threatens not to like you. Well, you will have to decide if it is worth it to have her approval. It comes at a high price, including your mental and physical health...maybe even your life. Been there. Soon, if she keeps this up, she will rightfully turn grandma and dad and the rest of the family and her "friends" away from her too. This is not acceptable in anyone her age and people get tired of it. They prefer the alienation eventually...and I'm predicting so will you. Of course, there ARE some parents who are 80 still enabling their 55 year old alcoholic/drug addict "children" having wasted all their later years that should have been for THEM to live out their dreams and to take it easy. Do you want to be that parent? You can get help while she is going through her hissy fit if she gets angry at you and you feel alienated from her. If need be, go to an Al-Anon or Nar-Anon meeting so you can get real time parent feedback. They won't force you to speak. Or go to NAMI for help. See a therapist who will be on YOUR side. Read Codapendent No More by Melodie Beattie....great book! :) Hope to see you on Parent Emeritus :) Welcome to the board, but sorry that you had to come. [/QUOTE]
Insert quotes…
Verification
Post reply
Forums
Parent Support Forums
General Parenting
Trying to save my homeless daughters life
Top