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Twitching eye mom needs help!!
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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 338478" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>Hi there and welcome, but sorry you have to be here.</p><p></p><p>I have a few questions to ask that can help us help you.</p><p></p><p>First off, was your stepdaughter neglected at all during her infancy or young toddlerhood? Did she get passed from mother to dad or did mother neglect her or leave her with different people? An early inconsistency in the caregiver can really screw up the child who needs to trust somebody when she is still helpless. Does she have any half-siblings or full siblings? How are they doing?</p><p></p><p>Also, are there any obvious psychiatric disorders on either side of her family tree (birthmother and dad?). Any substance abuse? Did birthmother abuse drugs or drink alcohol when she was pregnant? Alcohol, in particular, can be extremely damaging. I've heard it's worse than cocaine. I know a bit because we adopted a boy whose birthmother used drugs and drank during her pregnancy so I studied up on it and talked to professionals.</p><p></p><p>How was stepdaughter's early development? Did she walk and talk on time? Did she make strong eye contact with her parents (you'll probably have to ask hub). Since she has been in your life has she shown any social deficits? Does she know how to hold a give and take conversation? Does she have friends with her same age peers? Is she quirky? Any obsessive interests? Does she make any strange throat noises or copy things people say or she hears on television? Did she ever do this? Does she seem to "get it" or does she seem off in her own world sometimes...and at other times seem with it, but does drift, especially when stressed or with strangers?</p><p></p><p>I am not an expert on your stepdaughter, but it does seem that due to her problems you are going to either have to flex on your rules for her or forever be grounding her. She doesn't seem able to grasp what you are saying or, if she does grasp it, she seems unable to put into use what you have taught her. I think a neuropsychologist evaluation would help...that would pinpoint any learning disabilities/deficits and tell you if anything else is going on that was not found. Or even if her diagnoses are correct. NeuroPsychs are very thorough and test from 6-10 hours. Most professionals do not test at all. Many of us here like NeuroPsychs the best for diagnosis. They are psychologists with extra training in the brain. Often they catch what a psychiatrist misses due to the way they test and their extra knowledge in neurology. They aren't neurologists however. To me, her cluelessness sounds like she COULD have Asperger's Syndrome, but I'd have to know more. These kids simply do not "get" social norms or social cues and require interventions specific to the disorder. My son has it and was misdiagnosed as ADHD/ODD and bipolar. </p><p></p><p>Is your stepdaughter on medication? In therapy? </p><p></p><p>Others will be along too. This is a nice place with super-neat people.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 338478, member: 1550"] Hi there and welcome, but sorry you have to be here. I have a few questions to ask that can help us help you. First off, was your stepdaughter neglected at all during her infancy or young toddlerhood? Did she get passed from mother to dad or did mother neglect her or leave her with different people? An early inconsistency in the caregiver can really screw up the child who needs to trust somebody when she is still helpless. Does she have any half-siblings or full siblings? How are they doing? Also, are there any obvious psychiatric disorders on either side of her family tree (birthmother and dad?). Any substance abuse? Did birthmother abuse drugs or drink alcohol when she was pregnant? Alcohol, in particular, can be extremely damaging. I've heard it's worse than cocaine. I know a bit because we adopted a boy whose birthmother used drugs and drank during her pregnancy so I studied up on it and talked to professionals. How was stepdaughter's early development? Did she walk and talk on time? Did she make strong eye contact with her parents (you'll probably have to ask hub). Since she has been in your life has she shown any social deficits? Does she know how to hold a give and take conversation? Does she have friends with her same age peers? Is she quirky? Any obsessive interests? Does she make any strange throat noises or copy things people say or she hears on television? Did she ever do this? Does she seem to "get it" or does she seem off in her own world sometimes...and at other times seem with it, but does drift, especially when stressed or with strangers? I am not an expert on your stepdaughter, but it does seem that due to her problems you are going to either have to flex on your rules for her or forever be grounding her. She doesn't seem able to grasp what you are saying or, if she does grasp it, she seems unable to put into use what you have taught her. I think a neuropsychologist evaluation would help...that would pinpoint any learning disabilities/deficits and tell you if anything else is going on that was not found. Or even if her diagnoses are correct. NeuroPsychs are very thorough and test from 6-10 hours. Most professionals do not test at all. Many of us here like NeuroPsychs the best for diagnosis. They are psychologists with extra training in the brain. Often they catch what a psychiatrist misses due to the way they test and their extra knowledge in neurology. They aren't neurologists however. To me, her cluelessness sounds like she COULD have Asperger's Syndrome, but I'd have to know more. These kids simply do not "get" social norms or social cues and require interventions specific to the disorder. My son has it and was misdiagnosed as ADHD/ODD and bipolar. Is your stepdaughter on medication? In therapy? Others will be along too. This is a nice place with super-neat people. [/QUOTE]
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