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Two Years Ago
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<blockquote data-quote="Robinboots" data-source="post: 327773" data-attributes="member: 4542"><p>Here's a website I found the other day:</p><p></p><p><a href="http://www.klis.com/chandler/pamphlet/oddcd/oddcdpamphlet.htm#_Toc121406176" target="_blank">http://www.klis.com/chandler/pamphlet/oddcd/oddcdpamphlet.htm#_Toc121406176</a></p><p></p><p>I was like: WOW!! Soooo true! Esp. this:</p><p></p><p>"Some of the things parents have told me about their conduct disordered child are noted below.</p><p> "If you have a child with CD, everyone will initially assume it is your fault. You will be blamed by everyone for what the child does. You may know all about Family and children services, probation, youth court, residential homes, RCMP procedures, and mental health services. "</p><p></p><p> "You will often have the feeling that no one knows what they are doing with your child and they are just trying to pass the buck to someone who does. "</p><p></p><p> "You can end up divorced, depressed, alcoholic, hopeless, or all of these from dealing with such a child. It will often make or break your faith in yourself and your faith in God."</p><p></p><p> "You can see yourself where the child's problems are leading, but can be unable to do anything about it or find anyone else who can do anything about it." "</p><p></p><p>Sent it to my mom, she said it was like a composite of J's life. She also said "I think you're right" - that was HUGE. Of course, she wavers a lot, esp. after she talks to him and gets all "confused" again and imagines that he's "really" telling the truth.</p><p></p><p>The great thing is that he CANNOT come between husband and I. In fact, there are times husband is too lenient or forgetful, which J counts on; then again, there are times when I think husband is too hard on him. But it evens out. </p><p></p><p>As far as our youngest, C, is concerned, J has often been kinda rough in "play" with him. There's a five-year age differenct and considerable size difference, so I do worry. Mostly J is okay with him, but of course we never leave them alone for more than a few minutes.</p><p></p><p>What was so awful was that I had to keep going to these ridiculous FST meetings and the caseworker kept saying "no blaming, no shaming" and I was about to lose my mind! I said at the beginning, it's J, not US, not THE FAMILY! So of course, in their liberal, progressive, I'm-educated-but-have-no-common-sense, b.s mode, they interpreted this as me blaming the poor, little, 200 lb, 6-foot "child" for all our troubles.</p><p></p><p>Hey - either he's being a jerk and can stop if wants to, or he's got something wrong that needs to be treated - duh, right??? Out of five kids, this is the only one we abuse? The family functions just fine when he's not here?? I mean, seriously?? All that alone, and they still think it's US???</p><p></p><p>I thought he should go to an Residential Treatment Center (RTC) after detention, but no, they said there was "nothing" wrong with him - it was 8 months, thereabouts, before I found out the report said "evidence" was there; by then he was too old to go.</p><p></p><p>It was about that same time that the idiot who took him into protective custody, and all the others involved, figured out that he lies about EVERYthing and he IS the problem. And believe me, I am educated, informed, and have been working for this the entire time. It def. feels good to find a professional who sees it too and is willing to do something about it - short answer, no other treatment/ideas/options yet, just starting the Risperdal.</p><p></p><p>I'm sorry about yours...I'm sorry for anyone dealing with this cr*p. I'm having a hard time adjusting from "I know my son has a problem but everyone says it's my fault and maybe they're right and he's just being an azz" to "there really IS something wrong with him and he can't help it and we're going to fix it as best we can".</p><p></p><p>Sorry about the message on your table...classic PA behavior, we get a lot of that too. I took away his computer last spring for viewing porn, and he sabotaged mine, almost caught it on fire; eerily similar to the fire started at his school, except that one actually broke out and caused a lot of damage to the building. </p><p></p><p>I'm just tired. But hopeful. A little.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Robinboots, post: 327773, member: 4542"] Here's a website I found the other day: [url]http://www.klis.com/chandler/pamphlet/oddcd/oddcdpamphlet.htm#_Toc121406176[/url] I was like: WOW!! Soooo true! Esp. this: "Some of the things parents have told me about their conduct disordered child are noted below. "If you have a child with CD, everyone will initially assume it is your fault. You will be blamed by everyone for what the child does. You may know all about Family and children services, probation, youth court, residential homes, RCMP procedures, and mental health services. " "You will often have the feeling that no one knows what they are doing with your child and they are just trying to pass the buck to someone who does. " "You can end up divorced, depressed, alcoholic, hopeless, or all of these from dealing with such a child. It will often make or break your faith in yourself and your faith in God." "You can see yourself where the child's problems are leading, but can be unable to do anything about it or find anyone else who can do anything about it." " Sent it to my mom, she said it was like a composite of J's life. She also said "I think you're right" - that was HUGE. Of course, she wavers a lot, esp. after she talks to him and gets all "confused" again and imagines that he's "really" telling the truth. The great thing is that he CANNOT come between husband and I. In fact, there are times husband is too lenient or forgetful, which J counts on; then again, there are times when I think husband is too hard on him. But it evens out. As far as our youngest, C, is concerned, J has often been kinda rough in "play" with him. There's a five-year age differenct and considerable size difference, so I do worry. Mostly J is okay with him, but of course we never leave them alone for more than a few minutes. What was so awful was that I had to keep going to these ridiculous FST meetings and the caseworker kept saying "no blaming, no shaming" and I was about to lose my mind! I said at the beginning, it's J, not US, not THE FAMILY! So of course, in their liberal, progressive, I'm-educated-but-have-no-common-sense, b.s mode, they interpreted this as me blaming the poor, little, 200 lb, 6-foot "child" for all our troubles. Hey - either he's being a jerk and can stop if wants to, or he's got something wrong that needs to be treated - duh, right??? Out of five kids, this is the only one we abuse? The family functions just fine when he's not here?? I mean, seriously?? All that alone, and they still think it's US??? I thought he should go to an Residential Treatment Center (RTC) after detention, but no, they said there was "nothing" wrong with him - it was 8 months, thereabouts, before I found out the report said "evidence" was there; by then he was too old to go. It was about that same time that the idiot who took him into protective custody, and all the others involved, figured out that he lies about EVERYthing and he IS the problem. And believe me, I am educated, informed, and have been working for this the entire time. It def. feels good to find a professional who sees it too and is willing to do something about it - short answer, no other treatment/ideas/options yet, just starting the Risperdal. I'm sorry about yours...I'm sorry for anyone dealing with this cr*p. I'm having a hard time adjusting from "I know my son has a problem but everyone says it's my fault and maybe they're right and he's just being an azz" to "there really IS something wrong with him and he can't help it and we're going to fix it as best we can". Sorry about the message on your table...classic PA behavior, we get a lot of that too. I took away his computer last spring for viewing porn, and he sabotaged mine, almost caught it on fire; eerily similar to the fire started at his school, except that one actually broke out and caused a lot of damage to the building. I'm just tired. But hopeful. A little. [/QUOTE]
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