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Parent Emeritus
Ugggg! I've had it today!
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<blockquote data-quote="JKF" data-source="post: 555265" data-attributes="member: 12470"><p>Thank you so much Susie! I appreciate the support more than you know! It really IS hard to take a step back and even harder to say "NO you can't *ever* come home"! It kills me sometimes. I love my son so much and want the best for him but I can't do it FOR him. His illness and behavioral problems have taken a huge toll on myself and our family for so many years now and sometimes I feel like I have to sacrifice one for the other. It's a horrible feeling but if he doesn't want to get better what more can I possibly do? Yes, I've made mistakes over the years but I've tried to do the best I could as a mother. He tries to make me feel like his situation is all my fault and for awhile I totally fed into that. It nearly destroyed me at one point.</p><p></p><p>So, anyway, after two horrible days, today he's having a good day. He called and apologized and is excited about getting his social security card today. I'm happy that he's feeling better today but I'm smart enough to know that there will be another "tragedy" soon enough so I'm gearing up for the next round. I'm finding it easier with each episode to step back and practice some "tough love". I'm proud of myself for sticking to my guns (I wasn't always able to due to guilt, etc) and I really hope and pray that it will benefit him in the future.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="JKF, post: 555265, member: 12470"] Thank you so much Susie! I appreciate the support more than you know! It really IS hard to take a step back and even harder to say "NO you can't *ever* come home"! It kills me sometimes. I love my son so much and want the best for him but I can't do it FOR him. His illness and behavioral problems have taken a huge toll on myself and our family for so many years now and sometimes I feel like I have to sacrifice one for the other. It's a horrible feeling but if he doesn't want to get better what more can I possibly do? Yes, I've made mistakes over the years but I've tried to do the best I could as a mother. He tries to make me feel like his situation is all my fault and for awhile I totally fed into that. It nearly destroyed me at one point. So, anyway, after two horrible days, today he's having a good day. He called and apologized and is excited about getting his social security card today. I'm happy that he's feeling better today but I'm smart enough to know that there will be another "tragedy" soon enough so I'm gearing up for the next round. I'm finding it easier with each episode to step back and practice some "tough love". I'm proud of myself for sticking to my guns (I wasn't always able to due to guilt, etc) and I really hope and pray that it will benefit him in the future. [/QUOTE]
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Ugggg! I've had it today!
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