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Ugly night again over the computer zgfg tried to run
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<blockquote data-quote="buddy" data-source="post: 499238" data-attributes="member: 12886"><p>She ripped your clothes??? HOLY cow, can you call the php NOW??? let them know you are desperate. That she is in no way shape or form ready to be discharged and you need to know where she can go that insurance will pay for if she can't stay there. Tell them about how she ran and how she tore your clothes (if that is not an expression that I dont know about, lol)</p><p></p><p>She is a mess. She needs so much help and a two week distraction is only a start to get medications started but no way shape or form can be considered therapy. IT takes a long time to start and use new behaviors. She doesn't even recognize the aberrant behaviors yet! she sounds more and more learning disabled in some form.... there are some serious skill deficits going on. </p><p></p><p>I really know the wanting NOT to do the hard thing (yet the right thing) because in the end it means that I may have to face a blow up and especially I hate it when it gets physical (thank heaven less and less lately). But I am SOOO happy for HIM when I do it. I know I have made his world better to make those hard decisions and to go through the process. I think if you let easy child in on the fact that you are going to once and for all (no half hour here or 15 minutes there... she needs a safe, comfortable routine, and it will become that eventually) and explain to her that you know it will cause a couple of nights of upset until she is used to it. Offer for her to stay at her friends/neighbors for those few days till the new rule is settled into. </p><p></p><p>Then easy child knows you are considering her feelings and that you want her home but you are willing to protect her in the tough times. </p><p></p><p>I hope you dont think I am being hard on you. YOu just asked or ideas so I am offering a brain storm... others can point out the flaws in my thinking. FOr now I would not offer any earning back anything... it is too soon. for now she needs that safe secure routine. If she had cancer you would never ever risk her getting so exhausted. School would be way back on the burner. Maybe you need to remind of that... that she is ill right now and it is your job as an excellent mom and dad to take care of her and follow dr. directions to keep her healthy. </p><p></p><p>This is a long term mental health issue and she is plenty young enough to make up school credits etc. This health thing, along with finding out what else is under all of this is really important. You think she is stressed now??? Imagine if this all would happen when she is in college and no one to advocate for her or to help sort thru if she needs supports thru the disability division of the school. She needs to learn to calm, problem solve etc. or she is simply may not even be able to leave home and be successful. You have mentioned several positive things along the way. I still believe your wonderful daughter is in there... probably with more hope than many of our kids. BUT she is far from healthy now and this could be a big chance to turn this around.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="buddy, post: 499238, member: 12886"] She ripped your clothes??? HOLY cow, can you call the php NOW??? let them know you are desperate. That she is in no way shape or form ready to be discharged and you need to know where she can go that insurance will pay for if she can't stay there. Tell them about how she ran and how she tore your clothes (if that is not an expression that I dont know about, lol) She is a mess. She needs so much help and a two week distraction is only a start to get medications started but no way shape or form can be considered therapy. IT takes a long time to start and use new behaviors. She doesn't even recognize the aberrant behaviors yet! she sounds more and more learning disabled in some form.... there are some serious skill deficits going on. I really know the wanting NOT to do the hard thing (yet the right thing) because in the end it means that I may have to face a blow up and especially I hate it when it gets physical (thank heaven less and less lately). But I am SOOO happy for HIM when I do it. I know I have made his world better to make those hard decisions and to go through the process. I think if you let easy child in on the fact that you are going to once and for all (no half hour here or 15 minutes there... she needs a safe, comfortable routine, and it will become that eventually) and explain to her that you know it will cause a couple of nights of upset until she is used to it. Offer for her to stay at her friends/neighbors for those few days till the new rule is settled into. Then easy child knows you are considering her feelings and that you want her home but you are willing to protect her in the tough times. I hope you dont think I am being hard on you. YOu just asked or ideas so I am offering a brain storm... others can point out the flaws in my thinking. FOr now I would not offer any earning back anything... it is too soon. for now she needs that safe secure routine. If she had cancer you would never ever risk her getting so exhausted. School would be way back on the burner. Maybe you need to remind of that... that she is ill right now and it is your job as an excellent mom and dad to take care of her and follow dr. directions to keep her healthy. This is a long term mental health issue and she is plenty young enough to make up school credits etc. This health thing, along with finding out what else is under all of this is really important. You think she is stressed now??? Imagine if this all would happen when she is in college and no one to advocate for her or to help sort thru if she needs supports thru the disability division of the school. She needs to learn to calm, problem solve etc. or she is simply may not even be able to leave home and be successful. You have mentioned several positive things along the way. I still believe your wonderful daughter is in there... probably with more hope than many of our kids. BUT she is far from healthy now and this could be a big chance to turn this around. [/QUOTE]
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