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Substance Abuse
Ultimatum Given, now Trepidation....
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<blockquote data-quote="Kjs" data-source="post: 59898"><p>Mikey,</p><p></p><p>I feel for you. I see myself doing exactly what you are doing. I am not in that situation, I am so desperately trying to stay one step ahead of difficult child. But, I see so much of myself in you.</p><p></p><p>BUT..in my situation husband is in denial about everything that goes on, and I am sure he will find some reason to justify anything difficult child does or will do. I tried turning things over to him..doesn't work when you can't reach him. So..I come home and take away the things that matter to difficult child. I pack up the computer, the ipod (which is his), all the game systems, his phone, charger, stereo..I packed it all up in big boxes and I stored it. Didn't let husband know where it was, didn't let easy child know where it was. Nobody could use the computer, but..tough.</p><p>After a week or so of "I'm sorry", "I understand", "I'll try" and after a week of difficult child being compliant he came home to find everything right back where it was. That was the end of the school year and things have been pretty ok this summer, except that he has no friends and is home alone everyday.</p><p></p><p>I would take those car keys, ipod, cell phone, computer and pack it all up. Follow the rules and earn it back. The ipod may be his..the house is yours. That may be drug tests, curfew, giving him a ride to work and picking him up. I say this, but I am not in your place. </p><p></p><p>I have several drug tests in the closet at home. difficult child knows it. He knows I use them when ever I feel like it. You see, difficult child was busted at school with pot (he bought it) when he was TEN. (6th grade) He went for a drug test and it came back clean. I never told him it was clean because he admitted to smoking. He went for random drug tests even blood draws about once ever six weeks or whenever I felt like taking him. All have come back clean.</p><p>I don't share with him the results. Thankfully, he chose to change the group of kids he was with. Most of which are in trouble with the law at this time (2 yrs. later)</p><p></p><p>Stay strong.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Kjs, post: 59898"] Mikey, I feel for you. I see myself doing exactly what you are doing. I am not in that situation, I am so desperately trying to stay one step ahead of difficult child. But, I see so much of myself in you. BUT..in my situation husband is in denial about everything that goes on, and I am sure he will find some reason to justify anything difficult child does or will do. I tried turning things over to him..doesn't work when you can't reach him. So..I come home and take away the things that matter to difficult child. I pack up the computer, the ipod (which is his), all the game systems, his phone, charger, stereo..I packed it all up in big boxes and I stored it. Didn't let husband know where it was, didn't let easy child know where it was. Nobody could use the computer, but..tough. After a week or so of "I'm sorry", "I understand", "I'll try" and after a week of difficult child being compliant he came home to find everything right back where it was. That was the end of the school year and things have been pretty ok this summer, except that he has no friends and is home alone everyday. I would take those car keys, ipod, cell phone, computer and pack it all up. Follow the rules and earn it back. The ipod may be his..the house is yours. That may be drug tests, curfew, giving him a ride to work and picking him up. I say this, but I am not in your place. I have several drug tests in the closet at home. difficult child knows it. He knows I use them when ever I feel like it. You see, difficult child was busted at school with pot (he bought it) when he was TEN. (6th grade) He went for a drug test and it came back clean. I never told him it was clean because he admitted to smoking. He went for random drug tests even blood draws about once ever six weeks or whenever I felt like taking him. All have come back clean. I don't share with him the results. Thankfully, he chose to change the group of kids he was with. Most of which are in trouble with the law at this time (2 yrs. later) Stay strong. [/QUOTE]
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