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Substance Abuse
Ultimatum Given, now Trepidation....
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<blockquote data-quote="Ronni" data-source="post: 60052" data-attributes="member: 850"><p>Hi Mikey,</p><p> I've been following your story with your son, and I too can see so much of myself in you, and all that you are trying to do for your son. I was just talking about my son the other night with a group of women online, and one shouted at me, WHO'S THE PARENT? More than likely, she has a wonderful compliant perfect child, and doesn't have a clue as to what I'm going through with my kid.</p><p> Just wanted to send you a note to let you know that I appreciate your sharing all that you're going through, because it helps me to look at my own situation with a little more objectivity. </p><p> My son pretty much runs the show around here, stays up all night on my laptop or his Xbox, sleeps a good portion of the day, heads out and gets stoned with his friends, and comes home, usually with one or two of them, and does the same thing all over again. </p><p> I can't offer you any advice, because I have much to work on in my own situation before I can even begin to offer advice to anybody else. I sympathize with you in your situation with your wife. I do agree that it helps to create a united front in dealing with these kids. In my situation, I often feel like I am fighting a losing battle because my husband also likes to indulge in the herb, as well as binge drink at times. He feels justified in this saying, that I should look at his age compared to my son's age. I told him that yeah, I would expect a 15 yr. old to smoke pot, not a 49 yr. old. He thinks just because he's working that everything's OK. He hangs out with some other middle-aged juvenile minded guys like himself, so doesn't see anything wrong with his "occasional" usage. I realize I'm probably dealing with an addiction here, and have started attending al-anon meetings in town. They've helped me to deal with the stuff with my son as well. The biggest thing is that I can't control either one of them, as much as I'd like to.</p><p> So I'm kinda fighting this battle with my son on my own too. It's really hard. I myself am in recovery for alcoholism, sober now for 4.5 years, and I've had to learn that I have to sometimes put myself and my own well-being first, cause if I don't, if I start drinking again, lose my sobriety, or sanity for that matter, it won't help my son in the least. So I do the best I can with what I've got, and put alot in God's hands. </p><p> I just have to respond to the gay term. Funny how the meaning of that word has changed over the years. My son uses it in sentences to mean stupid or dumb, such as "school is so gay". I guess I could respond with "that was a gay thing to say" or "if you don't get an education, you'll be the gay one", but in my mind, gay still means homosexual. My Mom reminded me that in her day, gay mean't happy. I wonder where the new definition of the word started, cause it sure seems to be country wide.</p><p> Hang in there Mikey. I'm rooting for ya.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Ronni, post: 60052, member: 850"] Hi Mikey, I've been following your story with your son, and I too can see so much of myself in you, and all that you are trying to do for your son. I was just talking about my son the other night with a group of women online, and one shouted at me, WHO'S THE PARENT? More than likely, she has a wonderful compliant perfect child, and doesn't have a clue as to what I'm going through with my kid. Just wanted to send you a note to let you know that I appreciate your sharing all that you're going through, because it helps me to look at my own situation with a little more objectivity. My son pretty much runs the show around here, stays up all night on my laptop or his Xbox, sleeps a good portion of the day, heads out and gets stoned with his friends, and comes home, usually with one or two of them, and does the same thing all over again. I can't offer you any advice, because I have much to work on in my own situation before I can even begin to offer advice to anybody else. I sympathize with you in your situation with your wife. I do agree that it helps to create a united front in dealing with these kids. In my situation, I often feel like I am fighting a losing battle because my husband also likes to indulge in the herb, as well as binge drink at times. He feels justified in this saying, that I should look at his age compared to my son's age. I told him that yeah, I would expect a 15 yr. old to smoke pot, not a 49 yr. old. He thinks just because he's working that everything's OK. He hangs out with some other middle-aged juvenile minded guys like himself, so doesn't see anything wrong with his "occasional" usage. I realize I'm probably dealing with an addiction here, and have started attending al-anon meetings in town. They've helped me to deal with the stuff with my son as well. The biggest thing is that I can't control either one of them, as much as I'd like to. So I'm kinda fighting this battle with my son on my own too. It's really hard. I myself am in recovery for alcoholism, sober now for 4.5 years, and I've had to learn that I have to sometimes put myself and my own well-being first, cause if I don't, if I start drinking again, lose my sobriety, or sanity for that matter, it won't help my son in the least. So I do the best I can with what I've got, and put alot in God's hands. I just have to respond to the gay term. Funny how the meaning of that word has changed over the years. My son uses it in sentences to mean stupid or dumb, such as "school is so gay". I guess I could respond with "that was a gay thing to say" or "if you don't get an education, you'll be the gay one", but in my mind, gay still means homosexual. My Mom reminded me that in her day, gay mean't happy. I wonder where the new definition of the word started, cause it sure seems to be country wide. Hang in there Mikey. I'm rooting for ya. [/QUOTE]
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