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<blockquote data-quote="gcvmom" data-source="post: 228832" data-attributes="member: 3444"><p>Lisa, he has ALWAYS been a paranoid, suspicious and distrustful person. He has a security camera pointed at his front door, his side gate and his back door. It's all wired to his livingroom TV and computer so he can see whoever is out there. And he RECORDS the feeds as well.</p><p> </p><p>He has changed doctors more times than I can count, usually because he is put off by something they said, their tone, their inability to answer a question to his satisfaction, the way they looked at him or some other perceived slight. I'm all for changing doctors if it's not the right fit, but he takes this to the extreme and for the most ridiculous reasons. He is also confrontational with doctors and downright rude at times. He's had a few refuse to see him anymore because of his behavior. I don't think it's a matter of him being a cranky old guy -- he's a s.o.b. control freak with major anxiety and distorted views of the world, and always has been. </p><p> </p><p>When I lived at home, if someone parked too close to his car, he would talk about taking a key to their paint job or slashing their tires. I've never seen him do it, but he talks a big talk when he's upset about something he thinks someone had done to him. And it's always the other guy's fault.</p><p> </p><p>He has no friends. I can think of only two people in the last 40 years that he considered a friend. One is deceased 30 years now, and the other moved away 20 years ago and he does not make any effort to stay in touch.</p><p> </p><p>He was diagnosed agoraphobic by a psychologist when I was in elementary school. He rarely left the house except for work or to occasionally go to some familiar place. </p><p></p><p>He has been a verbally abusive person to my mother all my life, and to me when I lived at home. He rejects that anything is wrong with him psychologically. My mother once took him to see a marriage counselor and he did not like what he heard so he vowed never to go back.</p><p> </p><p>I limit the amount of time my kids are around him because he has no discretion with the things he says. He makes racial slurs and jokes regardless of who's in the room. His sister in law is from Vietnam, yet I recall a number of times he made crude racial jokes about Asians as if she wasn't even in the room, nevermind the fact that my KIDS were in the room. I remember sternly reminding him there were children in the room and he just giggled and said "oops", clearly not getting the insult he was causing.</p><p> </p><p>Anyway, I guess my dilemma is in my discomfort in knowing he is not stable in many ways and not being sure what I should or even could do about it.</p><p> </p><p>Susie, I talk to my mom frankly and frequently about the situation there, and I know she will do what she can to keep herself safe. She realizes that in his current ill health he is in no position to do much, but she also does not let down her guard. I think she feels obligated to see that his health needs are met, but that's about as far as it goes. She's already thinking ahead to the day where she cannot provide for his care and what to do about that. She did let his current internist know that he has history of serious anxiety, and this doctor has taken great care to treat my dad with kid gloves. And my dad is responding well to this new doctor. It's one of the first I've heard him speak well of in a while. But the second this guy is perceived to have made a mistake or withheld information and he will be on my dad's sh*t list, so to speak -- I guarantee it. </p><p> </p><p>Perhaps my mom can share a bit more with the doctor since she goes to appointments with my dad now since he can't drive. I will encourage her to be as frank as possible with the internist about his mental stability. And it would be easy enough for her to just see him on her own. I did that myself when I was concerned about problems my husband was having that he would not admit to anyone.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="gcvmom, post: 228832, member: 3444"] Lisa, he has ALWAYS been a paranoid, suspicious and distrustful person. He has a security camera pointed at his front door, his side gate and his back door. It's all wired to his livingroom TV and computer so he can see whoever is out there. And he RECORDS the feeds as well. He has changed doctors more times than I can count, usually because he is put off by something they said, their tone, their inability to answer a question to his satisfaction, the way they looked at him or some other perceived slight. I'm all for changing doctors if it's not the right fit, but he takes this to the extreme and for the most ridiculous reasons. He is also confrontational with doctors and downright rude at times. He's had a few refuse to see him anymore because of his behavior. I don't think it's a matter of him being a cranky old guy -- he's a s.o.b. control freak with major anxiety and distorted views of the world, and always has been. When I lived at home, if someone parked too close to his car, he would talk about taking a key to their paint job or slashing their tires. I've never seen him do it, but he talks a big talk when he's upset about something he thinks someone had done to him. And it's always the other guy's fault. He has no friends. I can think of only two people in the last 40 years that he considered a friend. One is deceased 30 years now, and the other moved away 20 years ago and he does not make any effort to stay in touch. He was diagnosed agoraphobic by a psychologist when I was in elementary school. He rarely left the house except for work or to occasionally go to some familiar place. He has been a verbally abusive person to my mother all my life, and to me when I lived at home. He rejects that anything is wrong with him psychologically. My mother once took him to see a marriage counselor and he did not like what he heard so he vowed never to go back. I limit the amount of time my kids are around him because he has no discretion with the things he says. He makes racial slurs and jokes regardless of who's in the room. His sister in law is from Vietnam, yet I recall a number of times he made crude racial jokes about Asians as if she wasn't even in the room, nevermind the fact that my KIDS were in the room. I remember sternly reminding him there were children in the room and he just giggled and said "oops", clearly not getting the insult he was causing. Anyway, I guess my dilemma is in my discomfort in knowing he is not stable in many ways and not being sure what I should or even could do about it. Susie, I talk to my mom frankly and frequently about the situation there, and I know she will do what she can to keep herself safe. She realizes that in his current ill health he is in no position to do much, but she also does not let down her guard. I think she feels obligated to see that his health needs are met, but that's about as far as it goes. She's already thinking ahead to the day where she cannot provide for his care and what to do about that. She did let his current internist know that he has history of serious anxiety, and this doctor has taken great care to treat my dad with kid gloves. And my dad is responding well to this new doctor. It's one of the first I've heard him speak well of in a while. But the second this guy is perceived to have made a mistake or withheld information and he will be on my dad's sh*t list, so to speak -- I guarantee it. Perhaps my mom can share a bit more with the doctor since she goes to appointments with my dad now since he can't drive. I will encourage her to be as frank as possible with the internist about his mental stability. And it would be easy enough for her to just see him on her own. I did that myself when I was concerned about problems my husband was having that he would not admit to anyone. [/QUOTE]
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