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<blockquote data-quote="Tiredof33" data-source="post: 509434" data-attributes="member: 13558"><p>I find that my hobbies keep me sane. I had a bad day yesterday and I understand the anxiety and feeling helpless, or is it hopeless? I am dreaming of the day I can turn it over to my HP and it will stay turned over. This son was not expected, (tried for 8 years) but wanted, so very much and it hurts to my core to see my only son throw his life away. Now at 33 he has absolutely nothing to show for it. Last night I thought back to when I was his age and had 15 years senority. I have to make myself get back into the his choice, his life mode. I haven't heard from him in 3 weeks and I don't know where his is, sometimes I'm not sure he isn't not calling to punish me. After the hell he has put me through, I was a single parent also, you would think it would be so easy to not care at all!</p><p></p><p>I remember my difficult child told me that one of his male counselors told him that no one in the world will ever love you more than your mother does so remember that and treat her well. Well I guess he didn't remember lol!</p><p></p><p>When my son was in detention once he called me to bring him some items. I drove the hour drive and when I got there the guard told me they (kids) start to miss mom and they use that as an excuse to call.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Tiredof33, post: 509434, member: 13558"] I find that my hobbies keep me sane. I had a bad day yesterday and I understand the anxiety and feeling helpless, or is it hopeless? I am dreaming of the day I can turn it over to my HP and it will stay turned over. This son was not expected, (tried for 8 years) but wanted, so very much and it hurts to my core to see my only son throw his life away. Now at 33 he has absolutely nothing to show for it. Last night I thought back to when I was his age and had 15 years senority. I have to make myself get back into the his choice, his life mode. I haven't heard from him in 3 weeks and I don't know where his is, sometimes I'm not sure he isn't not calling to punish me. After the hell he has put me through, I was a single parent also, you would think it would be so easy to not care at all! I remember my difficult child told me that one of his male counselors told him that no one in the world will ever love you more than your mother does so remember that and treat her well. Well I guess he didn't remember lol! When my son was in detention once he called me to bring him some items. I drove the hour drive and when I got there the guard told me they (kids) start to miss mom and they use that as an excuse to call. [/QUOTE]
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