Up and down and around

[toughlovin]

OK I am worrying a bit again... I know I need to stay out of it and just see what happens. As much as I talk about detaching it is hard not to worry... especially when you only gets bits of info. Yesterday I saw a status on FB where my son said things were getting tough.... so that made me wonder. Last night I get a text saying he might want to change houses (meaning sober houses). I texted him back, how come? Now I have heard nothing more. So my guess is he has had some conflict, gotten ****** off and wants to leave...... but I really don't know. I am tempted to call the person at the sober house but I want to wait to see if he will tell me what is going on first. I did email his therapist at the rehab so maybe she will know.... or maybe i just have to let it be until I hear more. It may not be a big deal at all..... but these little snippets of info with no more detail gets my imagination going big time... and of course I have had enough times where my imagination wasn't even as bad as it was in reality. Ugh.

 

[Nancy]

I understand, it's those tidbits of info that get to me too. My husband tells me to stop looking at her fb status and I know I should, but sometimes it's the only way to know what's going on and I hate being surprised.

Hopefully it's just a rough spot and will be smoothed out. I do think it was good to email his therapist.

Nancy

 

[susiestar]

It has to be super hard for you. Regardless of how old they are, they are still our babies deep in our hearts. Emailing his therapist is a good step, in my opinion. He will be able to talk it out with her. I hope he can give you some info to putyour mind at ease, but if he cannot maybe it owuld be good to go to a meeting (alanon or narcanon). As awesome as the board it, having people there in real life can also be helpful. They can also help you figure out if you should ask more questions or not.

Have you talked to a therapist of your own? That might also be helpful. I wrestle with this with my gfgbro - worry what he is doing, if his daughter is okay, etc... but I cannot communicate at all with him so I try to let the thoughts occur and then let them go. If I struggle to keep them from happening they get a lot worse so I acknowledge them and then it is easier to live with no info.

 

[toughlovin]

Thanks for your thoughts. I keep telling myself that if it was really bad he would probably call.... although he wouldn't if he has gone off partying somewhere. He also would not necessarily call if he has worked things out either. I think though if he was really in trouble and wanted our help he would call. So my guess is whatever conflict he is having he is working it out some how. At least that is my hope and what I am trying to go with. I did hear back from the therapist and she will see him tomorrow and will give me an update. It helps to have someone I can ask. As far as a therapist... when he left here he was off all medications. He has seen a doctor down there and is now back on an antidepressant. I am going to leave that to him at this point. It is good that he is not home and so it is not totally in my face and I am not facing direct conflict... but it is hard not knowing too.

I am going to our Alanon meeting tomorrow night and that always really helps.