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Update 17yp Hurting Family
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<blockquote data-quote="Hound dog" data-source="post: 538345" data-attributes="member: 84"><p>I'm going to wind up sounding like a broken record. LOL You dug in your heels and called their bluff. Which is why he is where he is now. Now? You go mega stubborn. You don't budge an inch. Why? Because you have the safety and welfare of the rest of the family to consider. That is your first priority right now. They meet your terms or he doesn't return. He's close enough to 18 that they know they're not really going to push the issue. </p><p></p><p>He got a job? Well, in any new situation there is the honeymoon phase. Foster parents will see his true colors soon enough in one way or another. I doubt he's fooling them. Even if he is, he can't keep it up forever.</p><p></p><p>Don't let it get to you. I know that's hard to do but you're doing/done your best for this child and you can't erase his past. That is something he has to deal with on his own when he's ready. </p><p></p><p>Like DDD said, keep records of all you're doing ect. Paper trails are important. Then I'd sit down with your husband and decide under exactly what circumstances you would consider allowing difficult child back into the home, what rules would also be in place, what would be expected of HIM once he moves in and while he's living there. If you get all this mapped/planned out in advance, it's more difficult to be pushed into bringing him home before you feel it's safe to do so. </p><p></p><p>And make certain to get some down time for yourself and husband while you're at it. It's easy to get so caught up in the battles of being a difficult child parent that we forget to take care of ourselves until completely battle weary we're ready to collapse. </p><p></p><p>(((Hugs)))</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Hound dog, post: 538345, member: 84"] I'm going to wind up sounding like a broken record. LOL You dug in your heels and called their bluff. Which is why he is where he is now. Now? You go mega stubborn. You don't budge an inch. Why? Because you have the safety and welfare of the rest of the family to consider. That is your first priority right now. They meet your terms or he doesn't return. He's close enough to 18 that they know they're not really going to push the issue. He got a job? Well, in any new situation there is the honeymoon phase. Foster parents will see his true colors soon enough in one way or another. I doubt he's fooling them. Even if he is, he can't keep it up forever. Don't let it get to you. I know that's hard to do but you're doing/done your best for this child and you can't erase his past. That is something he has to deal with on his own when he's ready. Like DDD said, keep records of all you're doing ect. Paper trails are important. Then I'd sit down with your husband and decide under exactly what circumstances you would consider allowing difficult child back into the home, what rules would also be in place, what would be expected of HIM once he moves in and while he's living there. If you get all this mapped/planned out in advance, it's more difficult to be pushed into bringing him home before you feel it's safe to do so. And make certain to get some down time for yourself and husband while you're at it. It's easy to get so caught up in the battles of being a difficult child parent that we forget to take care of ourselves until completely battle weary we're ready to collapse. (((Hugs))) [/QUOTE]
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