Update after court

[exhausted]

Well difficult child is ordered into secure residential where she cannot run. She will continue the DBT in the same place but with the residential component added. This is excellent!

Scary thing is... the judge ordered her into secure care (juvenile prison) until age 21, but stayed the order contingent on her performance in the DBT program. If she screws up once she is going away for a long time. He is tough and gave her no leeway. While we need this support, I'm scared because, she has never given us much reason to believe she would ever really stop her running and buy into healing.(18 months rehab. residential, years of therapy) This is it for her, he will put her away if she doesn't. I hope she gets that and is able to stabilize.
I hope she is scared, I'm still shaking 2 hours later, he scared the boots off of me.

 

[Nancy]

That is good news. Try to relax now, she will be safe and getting help. Don't try to think too far ahead. Hoping this is what it takes to get her to change.

Nancy

 

[rlsnights]

Glad to hear they listened to you and she will be in a treatment program that has been helpful in the past.

Yes, it's scary to know that our children's fate is out of our hands.

I too hope she is able to take in the consequences for failing to walk the walk.

Patricia

 

[JJJ]

Hopefully, she will succeed in the DBT program. If they are a secure facility, then they are used to these tougher cases.

Worst case, she is physically safe until she is 21. Sometimes just getting our kids to 21 is half the battle as maturity does eventually kick in for many of them.

 

[DDD]

I'm sure the Court experience shook you to the core. Just the vulnerability of knowing that the Judge has so much power and the right to make choices he sees fit with-o your input is frightening. In your case it sounds like she was dealt with harshly but with her best interests in mind. It will take a while to wrap our mind around it but before long I expect you will discover that you can lead and enjoy a life with-o fear and chaos reigning.

I'm sorry that she needs so much intervention but glad that it is available to give her a chance to mature and learn the lessons that she has not been able to learn independently. I am sending very caring hugs your way. DDD

 

[exhausted]

Thank you for your thoughtful words. Thank you for directing my thinking-because yes, knowing she will be alive until that frontal cortex begins to mature is a huge thing! She is so bright,I hope she will see the chance at a good future. If not,she will be alive!

 

[Ephchap]

Exhausted, I can truly relate to how you're feeling. My son went to a long-term residential at age 17. Although he could have stayed longer than age 18 if they felt he needed it, he "graduated" from their program right before his 18th birthday. It was a secure (locked) facility and he had to earn every step for any privilege at all. I do know that once he was there, I truly slept for the first time in I don't know how long, knowing he was safe. Try to take this time to heal yourself. Our children who put us through so much truly wear us down - physically and emotionally. It does take a while to heal.

She is safe and hopefully receiving the help she needs to move forward. Positive steps.

Meanwhile, take care of you.

Sending hugs and good thoughts,
Deb