Today my difficult child turns 20. He is no closer to being an adult today then when he was 15. He has a meeting with his probation officer,and if he passes his drug screen, will no longer be a concern of the judicial system (at least until he commits another crime.) That's a big if---if the "stuff" he bought to "fool" the test works. He is a pothead. He will not give it up. He still is a know it all. He won't listen to any reason. I gave up the "just say no" spiel years ago. He knows if I find it in my house, I call the police. His anxiety forced him to leave school 1 month before finals. Nothing could make him go back. He stayed in the bed for about a week. He can't hold a job. He either can't get hired or if he does, never lasts longer than a few days without major panic attacks. He seems stuck on stupid. I have told him to get a job, maintain it, or he will be living in a homeless shelter. He knows I'm serious---and he does seem to try. He went to work two weeks ago with a friend of husband's cutting lawns. He worked for a few days---but then had a probation hearing which was cancelled and when he tried to get in touch with boss was ignored. Boss finally called, had got a cold from difficult child, and said he would call when better. He hasn't called. As far as I know, difficult child didn't "do" anything wrong. But...this is typical. I'm so sad today. This is not what I imagined for him 20 years ago. It is what it is---and what it is blows!