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<blockquote data-quote="Rhonda" data-source="post: 254542" data-attributes="member: 6732"><p><span style="color: #333333"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'">Ahhh Lisa,</span></span></p><p><span style="color: #333333"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"></span></span></p><p><span style="color: #333333"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'">I hear you.. I am so stubborn myself.. I always admit she got that from me... I can do all on my own.. ugh! I wish that it was just that.</span></span></p><p><span style="color: #333333"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"></span></span></p><p><span style="color: #333333"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'">Unfortunately.. along with all else I watched my daughter pull her cloak of self righteousness around her and not feel a thing today I watched her sociopathic behavior in action. I watched as she blamed her friends and accepted no accountability. I took some, her friends did too and she watched. She has quit hanging around with the bad crowd.. she is the bad crowd. That may seem mean but it is something I denied for the longest and have now come to terms with (well as much as i can so far). I do also agree with you that deep down she wants to change, etc.. but she does not take steps to do it. She is a sociopath, she only cares about her own desires and is willing to use anyone around her to achieve that. Does she always know she is doing it....hmmm .. most of the time yes. All of the time .. not sure. But, definitely she knows.. she told me last night how easy it was for her to control the other 3 when she talked them into coming out to CA. She talked about the feeling of power she had in watching them make decisions whiles she was talking and how her words affected them. Oh yes, she knows. I have always tried to teach her that what she has is a gift. She could be president...ugh.. she has that knack to get people to believe in her and follow her. Unfortunately she is not using it for positive purposes. She chooses her friends wisely.. The ones she has the best opportunity to get what she is trying to achieve from.</span></span></p><p><span style="color: #333333"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"></span></span></p><p><span style="color: #333333"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'">She totally disregards social norms, her behavior is always impulsive, she is and has had for the longest a total indifference to the rights and feelings of others (not just late teens). The people around her are tools to be used to achieve what she wants. I may sound harsh... but I have come to accept her like she is. Is she always this way???? NO NO NO... occasionally she is not.. she is loving and kind and cries for the pain she causes, but it is rare.. most of the time she does not want to deal with those emotions (like 99.9% of the time) so she puts her walls up and ignores them. She lies and manipulates..and it is not drugs.. drugs are much more apparent. You can easily tell when it is drugs or alcohol. It hurts much worse when you can see it is just her. Her friends looked at her today with tears in their eyes telling her they wanted to help her and that is why they came to talk to me. She looked them dead in the eye and said "i dont need your help, I am done with you". All 3 looked at her like she grew a third horn (aside from the normal devil 2). I knew, deep down she was crying and hoping they would not really walk away. But she would have never said a word.. she would have pushed them out the door never to speak to them again if I had not ignored her and kept talking so that they got past the moment.</span></span></p><p><span style="color: #333333"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"></span></span></p><p><span style="color: #333333"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'">It is hard.. because I love her dearly, but I dont like who she is at all. And I recognize that who she is may be what she stays like. No one wants to think that they will really not like that lovely child that they loved so much for years to come. If she turns a corner then I wont have that to deal with.. but I am not holding my breath. I am prepared to love her dearly and be fiercely angry at what she has become.</span></span></p><p><span style="color: #333333"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"></span></span></p><p><span style="color: #333333"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'">So, yes you are right.. the way she behaves is just part of who she is. She is a lovely young girl who has some real problems that she refuses to address. Is it because she is immature.. well yes my understanding of her diagnosis is that is part of it. At 18 her social skills are about 12 or 13 and she proves that regularly. I have always been very stubborn and had to do it all own my own, but not to the detriment of my life and the loss of everything I have. Her father will pay for college for her, we agreed that when she finished high school we would get her a car to go to college.. these are incidental.. but the friends she hangs with would give anything to have these offerings from anywhere.. she throws it away due to fear of failure. She sticks with what makes her feel good.. manipulation and lies.. a nice little fortress that gives her complete control. And she can justify her little shelter by saying she is keeping the people she loves from hurting because of her... well bull malarkey.... </span></span></p><p><span style="color: #333333"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"></span></span></p><p><span style="color: #333333"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'">OK.. I am stopping.. got really going there.. may need to erase this tomorrow!! I dont usually get so worked up!!</span></span></p><p><span style="color: #333333"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"></span></span></p><p><span style="color: #333333"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'">Wasn't you Daisy.. just started spouting!! ugh... Love you all... thanks daisy.. boy I must be more angry than I thought with her!</span></span></p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Rhonda, post: 254542, member: 6732"] [COLOR=#333333][FONT=Verdana]Ahhh Lisa, I hear you.. I am so stubborn myself.. I always admit she got that from me... I can do all on my own.. ugh! I wish that it was just that. Unfortunately.. along with all else I watched my daughter pull her cloak of self righteousness around her and not feel a thing today I watched her sociopathic behavior in action. I watched as she blamed her friends and accepted no accountability. I took some, her friends did too and she watched. She has quit hanging around with the bad crowd.. she is the bad crowd. That may seem mean but it is something I denied for the longest and have now come to terms with (well as much as i can so far). I do also agree with you that deep down she wants to change, etc.. but she does not take steps to do it. She is a sociopath, she only cares about her own desires and is willing to use anyone around her to achieve that. Does she always know she is doing it....hmmm .. most of the time yes. All of the time .. not sure. But, definitely she knows.. she told me last night how easy it was for her to control the other 3 when she talked them into coming out to CA. She talked about the feeling of power she had in watching them make decisions whiles she was talking and how her words affected them. Oh yes, she knows. I have always tried to teach her that what she has is a gift. She could be president...ugh.. she has that knack to get people to believe in her and follow her. Unfortunately she is not using it for positive purposes. She chooses her friends wisely.. The ones she has the best opportunity to get what she is trying to achieve from. She totally disregards social norms, her behavior is always impulsive, she is and has had for the longest a total indifference to the rights and feelings of others (not just late teens). The people around her are tools to be used to achieve what she wants. I may sound harsh... but I have come to accept her like she is. Is she always this way???? NO NO NO... occasionally she is not.. she is loving and kind and cries for the pain she causes, but it is rare.. most of the time she does not want to deal with those emotions (like 99.9% of the time) so she puts her walls up and ignores them. She lies and manipulates..and it is not drugs.. drugs are much more apparent. You can easily tell when it is drugs or alcohol. It hurts much worse when you can see it is just her. Her friends looked at her today with tears in their eyes telling her they wanted to help her and that is why they came to talk to me. She looked them dead in the eye and said "i dont need your help, I am done with you". All 3 looked at her like she grew a third horn (aside from the normal devil 2). I knew, deep down she was crying and hoping they would not really walk away. But she would have never said a word.. she would have pushed them out the door never to speak to them again if I had not ignored her and kept talking so that they got past the moment. It is hard.. because I love her dearly, but I dont like who she is at all. And I recognize that who she is may be what she stays like. No one wants to think that they will really not like that lovely child that they loved so much for years to come. If she turns a corner then I wont have that to deal with.. but I am not holding my breath. I am prepared to love her dearly and be fiercely angry at what she has become. So, yes you are right.. the way she behaves is just part of who she is. She is a lovely young girl who has some real problems that she refuses to address. Is it because she is immature.. well yes my understanding of her diagnosis is that is part of it. At 18 her social skills are about 12 or 13 and she proves that regularly. I have always been very stubborn and had to do it all own my own, but not to the detriment of my life and the loss of everything I have. Her father will pay for college for her, we agreed that when she finished high school we would get her a car to go to college.. these are incidental.. but the friends she hangs with would give anything to have these offerings from anywhere.. she throws it away due to fear of failure. She sticks with what makes her feel good.. manipulation and lies.. a nice little fortress that gives her complete control. And she can justify her little shelter by saying she is keeping the people she loves from hurting because of her... well bull malarkey.... OK.. I am stopping.. got really going there.. may need to erase this tomorrow!! I dont usually get so worked up!! Wasn't you Daisy.. just started spouting!! ugh... Love you all... thanks daisy.. boy I must be more angry than I thought with her![/FONT][/COLOR] [/QUOTE]
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