Forums
New posts
Search forums
What's new
New posts
New profile posts
Latest activity
Internet Search
Members
Current visitors
New profile posts
Search profile posts
Log in
Register
What's new
Search
Search
Search titles only
By:
New posts
Search forums
Menu
Log in
Register
Install the app
Install
Forums
Parent Support Forums
Parent Emeritus
Update on difficult child who recently moved out. Could it be?
JavaScript is disabled. For a better experience, please enable JavaScript in your browser before proceeding.
You are using an out of date browser. It may not display this or other websites correctly.
You should upgrade or use an
alternative browser
.
Reply to thread
Message
<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 619682" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>It's true that whether your son is actually mentally ill, depressed, bipolar, smoking pot in secret, using harder drugs in secret, or just trying to get a free ride and toys from you, at his age it is less important than that he learns that doing better IS UP TO HIM AND HIM ALONE. Even a mentally ill person, like me, had to work my tail off (I wish I could illustrate the blood, sweat and tears that went into my improvements)...well, THAT ill person has to take control of his illness, find and get the best help possible and listen to the doctors. I do not believe that refusing medication is taking care of one's serious mental health issues nor have I ever known anyone who was so seriously mentally ill that he could not function to take vitamins and get much of a real boom for their bucks. Your son, if he is really depressed, is on the severe side. He can't disregard his doctors and get better. And what about the therapy that goes with it? medications alone is never enough because, if we are mentally ill, we develop unhealthy character flaws to deal with it and those are something we also need to work very hard on. So regardless of why your son suddenly regressed two years ago, and you may never know the truth, HE has to want to change it and he needs to listen to those who know more than he does and he needs to get ready to put forth a very strong effort to change. And, no, it does not happen overnight.</p><p></p><p>Recovering Enabler is so wise and has the right philosophy. We can't fix our kids. We can't make them responsible for themsevles by wishing it so. We can't take a few good days and declar them "cured" (whatever cured means). We need to make a wonderful life for ourselves and see where our difficult children go. It IS possible that your difficult child thinks you will weaken if he does well for a while at Grandmas and let him go back home. This is a common thing. We have all been so soft toward our children, whom we love to pieces, that they don't believe we mean it when we say "you're out." We have to show them that we mean it. They also often will put on any act to get more money from us.</p><p></p><p>Time, patience, and building your own life up so it's a wonderful, wonderful life...in my way to looking at things, they are your three best friends <img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite1" alt=":)" title="Smile :)" loading="lazy" data-shortname=":)" /></p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 619682, member: 1550"] It's true that whether your son is actually mentally ill, depressed, bipolar, smoking pot in secret, using harder drugs in secret, or just trying to get a free ride and toys from you, at his age it is less important than that he learns that doing better IS UP TO HIM AND HIM ALONE. Even a mentally ill person, like me, had to work my tail off (I wish I could illustrate the blood, sweat and tears that went into my improvements)...well, THAT ill person has to take control of his illness, find and get the best help possible and listen to the doctors. I do not believe that refusing medication is taking care of one's serious mental health issues nor have I ever known anyone who was so seriously mentally ill that he could not function to take vitamins and get much of a real boom for their bucks. Your son, if he is really depressed, is on the severe side. He can't disregard his doctors and get better. And what about the therapy that goes with it? medications alone is never enough because, if we are mentally ill, we develop unhealthy character flaws to deal with it and those are something we also need to work very hard on. So regardless of why your son suddenly regressed two years ago, and you may never know the truth, HE has to want to change it and he needs to listen to those who know more than he does and he needs to get ready to put forth a very strong effort to change. And, no, it does not happen overnight. Recovering Enabler is so wise and has the right philosophy. We can't fix our kids. We can't make them responsible for themsevles by wishing it so. We can't take a few good days and declar them "cured" (whatever cured means). We need to make a wonderful life for ourselves and see where our difficult children go. It IS possible that your difficult child thinks you will weaken if he does well for a while at Grandmas and let him go back home. This is a common thing. We have all been so soft toward our children, whom we love to pieces, that they don't believe we mean it when we say "you're out." We have to show them that we mean it. They also often will put on any act to get more money from us. Time, patience, and building your own life up so it's a wonderful, wonderful life...in my way to looking at things, they are your three best friends :) [/QUOTE]
Insert quotes…
Verification
Post reply
Forums
Parent Support Forums
Parent Emeritus
Update on difficult child who recently moved out. Could it be?
Top