Forums
New posts
Search forums
What's new
New posts
New profile posts
Latest activity
Internet Search
Members
Current visitors
New profile posts
Search profile posts
Log in
Register
What's new
Search
Search
Search titles only
By:
New posts
Search forums
Menu
Log in
Register
Install the app
Install
Forums
Parent Support Forums
General Parenting
Update on husband giving up on son
JavaScript is disabled. For a better experience, please enable JavaScript in your browser before proceeding.
You are using an out of date browser. It may not display this or other websites correctly.
You should upgrade or use an
alternative browser
.
Reply to thread
Message
<blockquote data-quote="Marguerite" data-source="post: 96478" data-attributes="member: 1991"><p>I'm glad you're going to counselling.</p><p></p><p>husband is right to a certain extent - difficult child IS old enough to know better. But he is a difficult child, and KNOWING better and DOING better are two very different things.</p><p></p><p>Here's something for husband - if you learnt to swim when you were three years old, you will expect your child to learn to swim at three years old. But what if you learnt early because you had a backyard pool, and your child simply isn't around water enough to have the opportunity to learn? Or suppose your child has the opportunity, but simply isn't as physically capable, perhaps has some slight spasticity that makes him much more uncoordinated until he's about 8 years old. Your child may need special help to learn, you can't just take a kid of more than three years old, say, "By now you should know how to swim," and throw them in the deep end.</p><p></p><p>We have an Aussie TV program (one of those lifestyle things) which had a segment on teaching your dog how to swim. Why should you need to do this? Surely ALL dogs can swim! Apparently not so, some dogs are amazing at it and others almost drown every time they try, and lose their nerve. You can work with them, but it takes work and patience.</p><p></p><p>We so often forget that our kids are individuals, and expect them to all reach the same milestones at the same age. Life just isn't like this. difficult child kids often are much slower to mature, no matter how intelligent they are. This frustrates them as much as it does us.</p><p></p><p>A suggestion for you - try to teach "Explosive Child" concept and methods to husband. OK, he won't read it - my husband simply couldn't get into it either. So by explaining it to him and discussing it with him, it consolidated the information in MY mind, made it easier for me to apply it. husband learned. Of course, when you begin this, any person not on the same page can quickly become the ogre in the child's eyes. If husband is not going to try it, he needs to learn to back off and call you in to handle things, until he's got the knack. He must not step in to try to fix things (especially not give an ultimatum - ask him when an ultimatum last worked on him?) but should leave it to you and observe.</p><p></p><p>I also summarised the book, did my own book review, so I could teach the others in my family without having to pay t he overdue library fines i would have otherwise accrued! It all helped.</p><p></p><p>Marg</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Marguerite, post: 96478, member: 1991"] I'm glad you're going to counselling. husband is right to a certain extent - difficult child IS old enough to know better. But he is a difficult child, and KNOWING better and DOING better are two very different things. Here's something for husband - if you learnt to swim when you were three years old, you will expect your child to learn to swim at three years old. But what if you learnt early because you had a backyard pool, and your child simply isn't around water enough to have the opportunity to learn? Or suppose your child has the opportunity, but simply isn't as physically capable, perhaps has some slight spasticity that makes him much more uncoordinated until he's about 8 years old. Your child may need special help to learn, you can't just take a kid of more than three years old, say, "By now you should know how to swim," and throw them in the deep end. We have an Aussie TV program (one of those lifestyle things) which had a segment on teaching your dog how to swim. Why should you need to do this? Surely ALL dogs can swim! Apparently not so, some dogs are amazing at it and others almost drown every time they try, and lose their nerve. You can work with them, but it takes work and patience. We so often forget that our kids are individuals, and expect them to all reach the same milestones at the same age. Life just isn't like this. difficult child kids often are much slower to mature, no matter how intelligent they are. This frustrates them as much as it does us. A suggestion for you - try to teach "Explosive Child" concept and methods to husband. OK, he won't read it - my husband simply couldn't get into it either. So by explaining it to him and discussing it with him, it consolidated the information in MY mind, made it easier for me to apply it. husband learned. Of course, when you begin this, any person not on the same page can quickly become the ogre in the child's eyes. If husband is not going to try it, he needs to learn to back off and call you in to handle things, until he's got the knack. He must not step in to try to fix things (especially not give an ultimatum - ask him when an ultimatum last worked on him?) but should leave it to you and observe. I also summarised the book, did my own book review, so I could teach the others in my family without having to pay t he overdue library fines i would have otherwise accrued! It all helped. Marg [/QUOTE]
Insert quotes…
Verification
Post reply
Forums
Parent Support Forums
General Parenting
Update on husband giving up on son
Top