M is on the ward on an involuntary hold. That's 5 business days, so he will not be released until either next Thursday or until they feel he is safe and progressing. I spoke with his social worker today for a few minutes to give him a history.
He said that M carries a lot of unhappy baggage. Big sigh... M had not wanted to contact us because he thought that we would think that his pain wasn't real. I don't think that, and told the man so. I told him that M and I have talked about leaving the past behind and working towards a more happy life for himself, and that it starts with appreciating the small things in life. That M probably has to force himself to have a positive outlook about things.
They have him on Prozac, which I'm less than thrilled about. He had done well on Celexa in the past and that is what I would have wanted them to start with. So, now they will run the course with Prozac and if it's unsuccessful it will probably be more difficult to get M to try anything different. Plus it's 4 - 6 weeks before they will see any therapeutic result from Prozac - or decide that there isn't any therapeutic result...
His doctor will be writing a letter for him to tell the financial aid people that he was ill and hospitalized and should be allowed to have his financial aid continued due to illness. They are going to assist him with getting the appeal process started.
The social worker said that he is encouraging M to talk to us about his past issues and pains. I'm really not sure what he means by that. Does that mean that we are expected to sit in a room and listen to what terrible parents we were? To listen to lies about abuse that didn't happen? Not going to happen. I can forgive and forget, but moving forward is the only way that I can live with the horror we went through when he was last hospitalized and wanted to lay all of his problems at our feet.
We weren't the best parents, but we did the best we could. We sought out help for him and for ourselves and we tried to make a happy life for all of us. I can't revisit that again. Someone needs to go to the hospital tonight to get the keys to the apartment to feed and water the cat and change the litter. I suppose we have to suck it up and do that.
Speaking of getting sucked into stuff, it feels a bit like we're right where we were when I joined this group nearly 8 years ago. Maybe a baby step forward. husband and I have made great strides, but as far as M goes, he's been running in place all of these years. Such a waste.
