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<blockquote data-quote="Star*" data-source="post: 453125" data-attributes="member: 4964"><p>Dear "Tudie" </p><p></p><p>So you're finding a path to inner peace huh? What a rocky road that is, and I ain't talking ice cream. Sounds like you do have a great introspect on things; or rather the beginnings of becoming your own Ghandi. I used to think that all those "peaceable" people must have never EVER had a bad day in their lives and just been born with golden slippers and silver spoons - Know what I mean?? I mean there was my life - and every time I turned around - train wreck, natural disaster, forest fire, ferret litter box backed up for a week type of thing. Now much later in life and today another year older, plus loads of counseling and therapy? I'd like to think I too have a little bit better grip on things. At times I do. Other times I don't. For the times I don't? I'm okay with that - and I think THAT's the beauty of therapy. ALlowing myself the permission to F it all up and be okay with it. Some days I think it's just the oddest thing - but I just do things just to see what happens and not try to be so dad-blamed perfectionistic. And it's OKAY......I can fix it later. Some people call it weird, some think I fell out of a spaceship, some think its cool - and my Mother thinks it's a kink in my otheriwse shining armor - but I know - it's just me. A little weird...but otherwise okay. I finally can say 6 out of 7 days I like me. SOmetimes even 7 out of 7....and not be narcisistic about it. You'll get there. </p><p></p><p>Oh and the forgiving him part? Yeah (scratches head) (exhales......twists lips) well? I dunno. I just dont know what to say about that. I mean I did a lot, and kept getting slapped in the face. Now? I have a strange philosophy - and its probably BECAUSE of the affairs that I can't get over it if someone lies but - to each his own on forgiveness. You'll find your own path.....it will take time...and the stuff you are feeling now? It'll fade. It's a great facade for now because you're hurt - but it gets to be a heavy wall ----too heavy to carry for more than 10 years. And you WILL find better things to replace your memories and thoughts with - I promise. Find your peace, your strengths,your happiness......they'll come. You're doing remarkable! </p><p></p><p>Hugs & Love </p><p>Star</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Star*, post: 453125, member: 4964"] Dear "Tudie" So you're finding a path to inner peace huh? What a rocky road that is, and I ain't talking ice cream. Sounds like you do have a great introspect on things; or rather the beginnings of becoming your own Ghandi. I used to think that all those "peaceable" people must have never EVER had a bad day in their lives and just been born with golden slippers and silver spoons - Know what I mean?? I mean there was my life - and every time I turned around - train wreck, natural disaster, forest fire, ferret litter box backed up for a week type of thing. Now much later in life and today another year older, plus loads of counseling and therapy? I'd like to think I too have a little bit better grip on things. At times I do. Other times I don't. For the times I don't? I'm okay with that - and I think THAT's the beauty of therapy. ALlowing myself the permission to F it all up and be okay with it. Some days I think it's just the oddest thing - but I just do things just to see what happens and not try to be so dad-blamed perfectionistic. And it's OKAY......I can fix it later. Some people call it weird, some think I fell out of a spaceship, some think its cool - and my Mother thinks it's a kink in my otheriwse shining armor - but I know - it's just me. A little weird...but otherwise okay. I finally can say 6 out of 7 days I like me. SOmetimes even 7 out of 7....and not be narcisistic about it. You'll get there. Oh and the forgiving him part? Yeah (scratches head) (exhales......twists lips) well? I dunno. I just dont know what to say about that. I mean I did a lot, and kept getting slapped in the face. Now? I have a strange philosophy - and its probably BECAUSE of the affairs that I can't get over it if someone lies but - to each his own on forgiveness. You'll find your own path.....it will take time...and the stuff you are feeling now? It'll fade. It's a great facade for now because you're hurt - but it gets to be a heavy wall ----too heavy to carry for more than 10 years. And you WILL find better things to replace your memories and thoughts with - I promise. Find your peace, your strengths,your happiness......they'll come. You're doing remarkable! Hugs & Love Star [/QUOTE]
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