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Update on my man child
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<blockquote data-quote="Mattsmom277" data-source="post: 431246" data-attributes="member: 4264"><p>Terry, it was for sure a combination of many factors, combined with his personality too I guess. I know other things that caused the change were maturing in his thinking, realizing that he had rose colored glasses about loved ones that he should love but also needed to see as the unhealthy people they were. He also has seen me stand up for myself more the past 5-6 years than I have all of my life. I know that it influenced his belief in himself when he saw me reclaim many areas of my life. He also has had the influence of my S/O and seeing him and I have a healthy relationship. Before S/O I had 2 meaningful (kind of lol) relationships, but neither were healthy and neither impacted difficult child except to cause some upset when our situations changed. He didn't cope well with change. He also was a believe a bit ashamed. When he was living with his dad that short while was when S/O I went beyond "dating". When he returned, it was to a healthier and happier mother and a male in the picture who demonstrated treating people with respect. It's extra hard to be verbally horrid to your mother when the other man in the picture never speaks nasty in anger and uses healthy coping tools when stressed etc. I guess it was the right combination of changes in his life and changes in himself. I'm grateful for even the tough changes because they resulted him being the person I knew he was under all that acting out and anger and squashed pain. Even his physical disabilities aren't on his radar anymore. Before they were a burden in his mind and a obstacle dooming him to life long failure. Very pessimistic. Maybe my MS issues these past few years helped him view his limitations differently. He knows his won't get worse than they have now, his being there since early development and just are a part of him now.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Mattsmom277, post: 431246, member: 4264"] Terry, it was for sure a combination of many factors, combined with his personality too I guess. I know other things that caused the change were maturing in his thinking, realizing that he had rose colored glasses about loved ones that he should love but also needed to see as the unhealthy people they were. He also has seen me stand up for myself more the past 5-6 years than I have all of my life. I know that it influenced his belief in himself when he saw me reclaim many areas of my life. He also has had the influence of my S/O and seeing him and I have a healthy relationship. Before S/O I had 2 meaningful (kind of lol) relationships, but neither were healthy and neither impacted difficult child except to cause some upset when our situations changed. He didn't cope well with change. He also was a believe a bit ashamed. When he was living with his dad that short while was when S/O I went beyond "dating". When he returned, it was to a healthier and happier mother and a male in the picture who demonstrated treating people with respect. It's extra hard to be verbally horrid to your mother when the other man in the picture never speaks nasty in anger and uses healthy coping tools when stressed etc. I guess it was the right combination of changes in his life and changes in himself. I'm grateful for even the tough changes because they resulted him being the person I knew he was under all that acting out and anger and squashed pain. Even his physical disabilities aren't on his radar anymore. Before they were a burden in his mind and a obstacle dooming him to life long failure. Very pessimistic. Maybe my MS issues these past few years helped him view his limitations differently. He knows his won't get worse than they have now, his being there since early development and just are a part of him now. [/QUOTE]
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