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The Watercooler
Update on Scott, the grown child who left the family
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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 550364" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>After the way he acted at our meeting, so cold and dismissive of my having any importance to him, it was not hard to walk away without tears and with new understanding. It took about a year before I realized he had slipped from my mind. It did not take any work or therapy to get to this point. His behavior, a coldness that chilled me to the bone, caused me to be able to let him go. His wife's attitude and the way he perceived his childhood allowed me to let them both go. And, frankly, I don't want them back. This is not the child I raised from 6-19 (before he moved out). This is somebody else, a stranger, somebody who judges harshly, never forgives, and not a person I would chose to know if fate hadn't put us together so long ago. A child who really feels as if he is your son or daughter can not let go of you so coldly and completely. Eventually there is always something (good or bad) that pulls you into the same orbit. Scott does not feel like any part of us and I have come to feel the same way about him...</p><p></p><p>I know it's maybe wrong, but I can't help it. An unattached child is very hard to love when he clearly feels nothing for you. It is useless to fight this battle. I know he is prosperous and his needs are cared for so I don't worry about him either. He has his own business and tons of money...he needs nothing from us. His wife and her family love him very much so he does not lack that either. All I needed from him was closure and I'm grateful I got it.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 550364, member: 1550"] After the way he acted at our meeting, so cold and dismissive of my having any importance to him, it was not hard to walk away without tears and with new understanding. It took about a year before I realized he had slipped from my mind. It did not take any work or therapy to get to this point. His behavior, a coldness that chilled me to the bone, caused me to be able to let him go. His wife's attitude and the way he perceived his childhood allowed me to let them both go. And, frankly, I don't want them back. This is not the child I raised from 6-19 (before he moved out). This is somebody else, a stranger, somebody who judges harshly, never forgives, and not a person I would chose to know if fate hadn't put us together so long ago. A child who really feels as if he is your son or daughter can not let go of you so coldly and completely. Eventually there is always something (good or bad) that pulls you into the same orbit. Scott does not feel like any part of us and I have come to feel the same way about him... I know it's maybe wrong, but I can't help it. An unattached child is very hard to love when he clearly feels nothing for you. It is useless to fight this battle. I know he is prosperous and his needs are cared for so I don't worry about him either. He has his own business and tons of money...he needs nothing from us. His wife and her family love him very much so he does not lack that either. All I needed from him was closure and I'm grateful I got it. [/QUOTE]
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Update on Scott, the grown child who left the family
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